My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

ready....or not

Yesterday, during physical therapy, I was FINALLY given the ok, to do a very small, slow run.  Jon, my physical therapist, told me that I could run slow for 5 minutes, then stretch for a minute or two, then go for another 5 minutes.

He told me I could do this for about 20-30 minutes long as there was no stabbing pain.

Minor ache or pain would be normal, but no stabbing pain.  Stabbing pain means, get of the treadmill.

At this point, any kind of running will do for me.  I was ecstatic!

I grabbed my running shoes this morning, and as I was getting ready to put them on, I realized that I was actually going to run again!

Then, I got a little nervous.

Then, I thought about my leg, and all of the what ifs?

Then, I kind of panicked!

I had to remind myself that I was actually going to be able to run, and it was ok.  Even a teeny tiny run would be wonderful.

I got to the gym, got on the treadmill, freaked out a little bit again, stretched, and then started a very slow run.

I immediately felt some weird tugging, but Jon told me to expect that.  I ran for 5 minutes, then stopped and stretched...just like a good, obedient physical therapy patient.  It was REALLY hard to stop.  I was in heaven!

I ran another 5 minutes and started to feel some deep aching, but not stabbing pain.  I got worried, but so far so good.

I stopped and stretched again.

I ran another 5 minutes and the aching started getting a little more severe, so I stretched again, and started back up slower than before.

And then the stabbing pain finally hit.
I slammed my hand on the stop button in complete frustration,  and got off the treadmill.

I was so, so, so tempted to run through the pain, but I had strict orders to stop at any sign of stabbing pain, so I did.

I did everything I was supposed to do, I have worked so hard in physical therapy this past month, and I have forced myself to give my leg time to heal.

The aching leg I have felt all day today has also led to an aching heart.

I am extremely discouraged and upset.

I was really hoping for a pain free, small, easy run. A sign that things are moving forward.

Looks like I am not quite ready.


sammy boy turns 9

Sam's 9th Birthday was on Saturday.

It is so crazy to have my kids get a year older.  It is always a bit of a shock to me.

My sweet, big blue puppy dog eyed, blonde haired, big cheeked Sammy Boo is now 9 years old.

He woke up to decorations, and a visit from Bop and grams Belnap.  They flew in from Alaska late Friday night, and drove up to Heber in order to spend 1/2 the day with Sammy.  Pretty cool.

He decided to go do Kneaders for breakfast.  All you can eat cinnamon roll french one declined. 
He opened his presents when we arrived home.
He got new scriptures, and a kindle. 
He was extremely excited!!!

My parents had to leave soon after that, and then Ben took Sam and the boys to get Sam a new bike. 
He has outgrown his old one, and is in desperate need of a good, solid bike.
Ben is the one to go to in the biking area, and he found an awesome bike for Sam!

When the boys got bike, everyone went outside and rode bikes.  It was a gorgeous day!!!

the bike has gears!

I stayed inside and got ready for the "movie night."

It was supposed to be Sam and a couple friends watching a movie.

It turned into Sam and 7 friends having a movie night!

The "party" was a big success.

This group of boys is such a great group.  They are all close with each other, and they remind me of the movie Sandlot.  They pack around all over the neighborhood and collect more friends as they go.  They are a tight knit group, and Sam loves to be with them.  It was very heart warming to see Sam have so much fun with them, and to see how much each of them genuinely cares for Sam.

The night was full of presents, candy, "dirt and worms" cake, a movie, and crazy boys.

Luke, Drew, Gage, Blake, Sam, Ethan, Trey, William, Luke, and Brayden (not shown) came later.

One thing that completely caught me off guard was the smell!  I put Molly to bed for the night, and when I came back out to the room full of boys, I was literally blown away!  It smelled like a boy's locker room in my house! I was astounded at the smell!

I plugged in all of my smelly things, opened windows, and even put on smelly lotion, but nothing worked.  It was unbelievable!

Blah!  Boys stink!

Sam had a great Birthday, and it was so fun to celebrate him.

He has such a tender heart and a sweet personality.
He is very smart, he is a math wiz, he is obsessed with his Traxxas RC car, he loves to jump on his bike and on snow skiis, he likes soccer, he knows everything there is to know about reptiles, he has the best giggle ever, and he is very good boy.

We love you Sammy Boy!

grandpa ben

Ben was in Walmart the other day with Molly, and an old man walked up to him and said, "Are you having fun spoiling your granddaughter?"


Grandpa Ben and Molly girl.


My brother Devin, his wife, and their two kids live here in Utah, about an hour away from us.

We don't see each other often, because he is busy with dental school, and we are busy with life, but it is always nice to know family is close by.

Last weekend, I learned that Nichole, Devin's wife, was very sick, and Devin had a huge dental conference that he was in charge of coming up.  They were up to their eyeballs with stress.

I decided to drive down to their place, and grab Eli, their 3 year old, and keep him with us for a few days. 

I was a little worried, because Luke is already full of energy and excitement right now, and bringing in another 3 year old was a little scary.

From the second we picked up Eli, the boys were in heaven!

We went to Costco, and the boys acted like it was Disneyland.

For the next three days, I only heard from Luke and Eli when they were hungry or tired.

They played and played and played. 

It was so great!  They had the time of their lives.  They fell asleep holding hands and telling "spooky stories" each night.  They dressed up like super heros each day and only answered to Batman and Superman.

They ate like dinosaurs, only spoke in animal noises, got into everyone's stuff, and had an absolute blast!

I grew up hanging out with my cousins all the time, and they were some of my best friends.  I have always wished the same for my kids.  It has been hard with the distance between my kids and their cousins though.

It warmed my heart to watch these two cousins, in their own little boy world, having so much fun together.

Cousins rock!

pudding, pudding everywhere

During my usual Friday grocery shopping, Molly and Luke had the wiggles.  Luke gets them out by running through the store and getting items for me, but Molly can get pretty upset being stuck in the cart.  Sometimes, she will start grabbing things from the cart and try to open them.

This was one of those trips.

I finally broke down and got she and Luke a donut to munch on while I finished shopping.

When all was said and done, I finally made it to the check out line.

As I was loading the groceries onto the belt for the cashier to begin checking the items, I noticed that everything had a light dust of something brown all over it.

I had to shake off each item before I placed it on the belt.  It was really weird?!?!

The cashier mentioned that it looked like everything was covered in pudding powder.  She even had to get out paper towels and start wiping off items as well. 

About 1/2 through, I pulled out the chocolate pudding container, and found this.

It looked like a little puppy had chewed right through it.

Somehow, without me noticing, Molly had sucked on the box until she got all the way down to the pudding powder, and then she threw it back in the cart.

I glanced over at her, with the pudding box in my hand, and she immediately started reaching for it and grinning.

Silly girl.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

learning to fly requires falling

Mary had her third tumbling meet of the season on Saturday.
We got up super early in order to make it to Farmington by 7:50am.
We were running late, and it was a bit stressful, but we walked in the door minutes before she was supposed to be out on the floor.
I found my seat, and waited, and waited, and waited.
I was sitting by the mom of another tumbler on Mary's team, and mentioned that it seemed to be running really behind.  She them reminded me that Mary is now competing in the 12 year old group.
I had looked at the wrong schedule!  Mary didn't compete until 9:30.  Go me.
We thought she would be done with both events by 9:30, but in reality, she would not be done until 2:00.
Double doh!
So we killed some time.

cute shirt she got at the meet, it says, "this is my handstand shirt."
Mary has worked really hard the past few weeks to clean up the little things she stumbled on the past two weeks.  They were not big things, but they prevented her from getting on the podium.  This week, with everything fixed, she was really excited to see how well she could fly.  She was looking great!
I was excited for her too.  I knew that she had a great shot of getting in the top 3, which was very normal for her last season.  She needs scores like that in order to qualify for Nationals.
She had floor first.
Her first pass was beautiful, but she started her last of 7 flips on the red line, so her last flip was not counted!  This was all due to her not starting her pass back just a few feet.  She was trying to make her back hand springs longer and prettier (which she did), but in return, she landed further back than normal.
I could see it in her face that she new it, and she was very discouraged.
Her second pass was flawless. She nailed the landing and everything. That got a grin out of her.
My heart hurt for her.  She did her passes perfectly, but just one little mishap, that had nothing to do with her form, or her height, or her execution, killed her score.
She ended up taking 5th out of 11 girls.
We checked the score sheet afterward, and without landing in the red, Mary would have taken first place!
 Double mini was next.  You can see in the picture below, that the girls on the podium are much bigger than Mary, and much older.  They have all turned 12 already and have matured also.  Mary doesn't turn 12 until December.

With trampoline and double mini, the judges can judge on height as well as everything else.  Some judges give huge points and huge deductions for height.  Others do it for form. 

The judges at these meet were very focused on height.  These bigger girls can get huge height on the double mini with just one jump.  The smaller girls just can't match that.

Mary's form was perfect, and she only took one step on the landing of her first pass, and stuck the second.

Because she was not as high, she came in 6th out of 12.

When judges are more focused on form, Mary almost always is in the top 3.

Mary was pretty quiet in the car on the way home, and my heart ached for her.

This was her third meet in a row where she did awesome, but one dumb little thing got in the way of her scores.

She had an amazing season last year, and her confidence was high.  She was on the podium at every single meet, won Regionals, and placed 11th out of 56 in Nationals. 

This season has been very different.  She is just as good, and is improving every meet, but in these upper levels, the tiniest little thing can just kill your score.  She is now in the upper levels.
Unfortunately for Mary, these tiny things keep happening.

She is learning a lot though.  Every athlete will have a season of learning, growing, and becoming stronger.  OR, they can let the season make them upset, bitter, and wanting to give up.  Mary has chosen the first choice.

I have watched Mary to see how she wants to handle this, and I have been so proud of her as she lets herself feel bad for a minute, but then immediately focuses on what went wrong, what she can do to fix it, and sets her eyes on the next meet.

I don't say much to her either way.  I am very proud of her when she has success, and I am very proud of the way she handles it when she has disappointments.  I let her know this each time, and then I just try to listen.  It is really hard as a mother to know exactly what to say.  I just love her, support her, and make sure that tumbling is always fun for her.  If she is not having fun, she doesn't need to do it anymore.

I am very proud of her as an athlete with how she handles the success and the disappointments.
She is an amazing athlete, and her tumbling is incredible.  I have no doubt that this glitch in the road is just a glitch.

I just pray that sooner than later she can get everything aligned just right at a meet, just how she can and is able to, and blow it out of the water! 

She is quickly learning that the sport is not just about the sport.  It never is.

big boy counts to espanol!

William came home today wearing this amazing hat, and sporting this cool necklace.
He was beaming!
Everyone in Williams kindergarten class can count to 100 in Spanish, so they had a party!
How cool is that! 
 My little big boy can count to cien!

miss molly goes to nursery

Technically, Molly will not be 18months until March.  (thank goodness, I can't handle it)  BUT...the nursery was emptied out with the new year and everyone moving up to Sunbeams, so they let us start bringing Molly.
It is so crazy to me that now all of my kids will be in some sort of class during the last two hours of church now.  No more babies to tag along with us.  So weird!  Bitter sweet for sure.
She was very unsure of it for a few weeks, but the past couple weeks, she has done great!
My sweet little princess is growing up. (sniff, sniff)

happy heart day

Valentines was good over here in these parts.

The kids had a blast at their school parties.  They did their traditional face valentine boxes, and as usual, they were a huge hit!  Love it.

their classmates put the candy in the mouth, and there is a box behind it that it falls in to.
They came home with smiles, and loads of candy.

Mary and her friend Eden made these cupcakes over the weekend.  They were going to be Valentine cupcakes, but then they got on Pinterest and found this cute idea.

They made them completely on their help from me.
I was totally impressed!
cookie monster cupcakes

On Saturday night, we got a babysitter, and my boyfriend took me on a date. 
We went to Vitos, a new Italian restaurant here.  It was aweseome!  I love going on dates with my Valentine.

On Sunday, the actual Valentines Day, we gave each of the kids a box of chocolates and a small gift.   I made a fun Valentine dinner, complete with these awesome Jello hearts!  Mary helped me make them.

Dessert was, well, not the jello hearts, but it probably should have been.

We had these killer kabobs!  Sooooo good.
brownies, marshmallows and strawberries!

Lots of love, lots of treats, lots of red, lots of hearts.
It was a good Valentines weekend.

Friday, February 12, 2016

oh luke

Luke had his preschool Valentines party on Thursday this week, because that is the last day he has preschool before Valentines Day.

I let him pick out the Paw Patrol cards/magnets that he wanted to give his friends.  He is majorly in to Paw Patrol right now.
I think I spent almost 10 minutes trying to explain to him that he gives them to his friends, and that his friends give him valentines too.  He was totally confused and could not figure out why the Paw Patrol valentines were not all his.

The next morning, we sat at the table, and I helped him put his name on each card and get everything ready to go for his party.  I re-explained it all to him again, and I thought he was starting to get it.  We put everything in his backpack, zipped it up, and he was all set for his big party.

Later that afternoon, Molly took longer than normal to get down for a nap, so I was MIA for about 20 minutes.  I thought Luke was having some quiet time watching a show.

You would think I would know by now, that "quiet time" is actually "I should be scared because it is too quiet" time.

I came out of the room, and found Luke's valentines spread all over the table and the floor. 
These are just a few of them
Luke had ripped the magnets off of every single one, and placed them in his own Valentine Mailbox..  He was thrilled to show me that he had given himself  35 valentines, and he had already taken the magnets off.

I had no time to go back to the store, and by this point our wonderful Heber Walmart (note the sarcasm here), was completely out of any valentine stuff.

We spent the afternoon taping the magnets back on the cards, with Luke protesting like crazy.

I did cave and let him keep some for himself...the ones that were too destroyed to save.

He did end up making it to his party, with enough taped together valentines to pass around.

He came home with the biggest grin I have seen in a long time, and proudly showed me his massive bag of valentines/candy!  He literally jumped off of the last step of the bus and shouted for joy holding out his box for me to see.  It was pretty dang cute.

 He also explained to me how he put his cards in his friends boxes, and they put some in his.  He finally got it. Go figure.

I got him some lunch, turned on a show for his "quiet time," told him that he could have two pieces of his candy after he ate lunch, and I went to put Molly down for a nap.

Why, oh why, do I ever think that Luke will just sit and watch a show while I am getting Molly down.

I came out 15 minutes later, and Luke had eaten all 28 pieces of his candy.  Most of the candy was just straight sugar (Fun Dip..I HATE those things).  It was A LOT of sugar.
His lunch was completely untouched.

I just about died, because I knew what it meant for the rest of the afternoon.  I tried in vain to get him to eat his lunch, to try to get something in him to soak up the sugar, but it was no use.

I was right to be worried.  The afternoon for Luke was insane.
I did not ask him to pose for this picture.  I just snapped this mid- sugar rush.

did not ask him to do this either.  Nope, this was all Luke.

Luke spent the next 6 hours literally bouncing off the walls, the couches, the railing, the chairs, the beds, and even the table.  He turned into about 30 different animals in that time, complete with the animal noises, he didn't stop talking or making animal noises for more than 5 minutes, and he was literally bursting out the eyeballs with the biggest sugar rush known to mankind! 

The older kids literally just sat on the couch and watched Luke go crazy.  They thought it was amazing, even for Luke.  It was like watching a talking, noise making, pinball, bounce all over the place at crazy high speeds.

And then, an hour before bedtime, I walked into the room and saw this.
He looks like he literally just collapsed.  His cheeks were even still rosy from the sprints up and down the hall he had been doing just minutes before.  Quite the sleeping position!

The crash!  He didn't open his eyes again until morning.

Oh Luke.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016


This was today's punishment for going to the bathroom.
Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.
It was time for a new bottle, so I guess Molly can thank Luke for speeding up the process.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

count your many blessings...update

blessing:  the car was out of gas

curse:  the car was out of gas

blessing:  obviously, a very easy fix

curse:  the first thing I did when the car stopped, was check the mileage, and we should have had 60 more miles worth of gas.

blessing:  the car was just out of gas

curse:  we have to pay the auto repair shop, and the tow truck company, to tell us that our car was out of gas. 

blessing:  paying for a company to tell you that you are out of gas, is way cheaper than being told you need a new transmission

curse:  totally embarrassing, even though I checked the gas right when the car stopped

blessing:  I will have a car again!

count your many blessings

blessing:  We own two vehicles, therefore I have a car here during the day.

curse:  the car I drive during the suddenly broke down yesterday on our way home from the dentist.

blessing:  it broke down in our neighborhood, close to home.

curse:  my friend and I tried to move the car to the side of the road, but I have a bad leg, and she has a bad shoulder.

blessing:  It was sort of off to the side of the road already.

curse:  Molly had just fallen asleep, and I had to wake her up to walk home.  No nap for Molly the rest of the day.

blessing:  The weather was actually above freezing, and the sun was out.  The walk home wasn't bad.

curse:  I don't have a car

blessing:  Ben was home this morning and was able to help get kids to the bus stop, without a car.  My friend Karli gave me a ride to the gym, so I was able to get a great work out in.  My leg made it through an entire power pump class.  Made my day!

curse:  I don't have house keys (they are with the car keys at the car shop), and Ben left the house after I did.  He did a great job of locking the house up nice and tight. Needless to say, I was locked out of the house when I got home from the gym

blessing:  I have awesome friends who took Luke and Molly and lent me their car so I could drive to the car shop and get the house key

curse: I don't have a car to run all of the errands that I need to do tomorrow.

blessing:  I have a car

curse:  I don't have a car at the moment

blessing:  tax return comes this week, to help pay for the car

Curse:  have to use tax return money to pay for car

blessing:  God is very aware of me, and cares about the small stuff, like me not having a car.

The end


A few weeks ago, Mary starting telling us that her gums here bothering her under one of her molars.

I looked in her mouth and noticed a white bubble forming.

We asked our neighbor dentist about it, and he said it was probable an abscess tooth, and to get it removed.

I kind of, sort of forgot about it, until this Sunday at church.

Mary was really complaining of her mouth hurting, especially that tooth.

I whispered to her to show me her gums, and she pulled her lip down and touched her gums.

Puss flew out everywhere!  It was next to impossible for me not to shriek and barf right in the middle of the sacrament.  Mary found it absolutely hilarious, yet terrifying.

I am sure I did some sort of weird grunts and noises in the process though.

The next day, yesterday, it was off to the dentist.

Poor Mary was scared out of her mind, and I don't blame her at all.

the abscess bubble is really hard to see.  It is that bump on her gums in the very corner of her mouth.
 Mary was one tough girl, and pretty soon she was completely numb and molar-less.

I guess it is pretty common for kids to get infections underneath fillings on baby teeth. 
Good to know.

Hopefully a nice, new molar will be filling in that nasty blood filled hole in her mouth very soon.

Good thing our tooth fairy knows exactly what it is like to get teeth pulled at the dentist, and rewarded Mary accordingly.  :)

cabin fever

In the winter, Sunday's can be very long for us.  It is hard to be cooped up inside all day with nothing much to do besides pick on each other and drive everyone crazy.
Anyone else cringe and picture a massive hole being ripped through the trampoline, when looking at this freezing picture?

We have had LOTS of snow this winter.  Snow... good. Grey and no sun and negative temps...not good.

I CAN'T WAIT for spring/summer, when we can resume our Sunday hikes and walks.  Oh, just the thought of it makes me smile.

Spring...please hurry!

This Sunday, we tried to kill the cabin fever with some random, fun family time.

We had a silly face contest, a flexing contest, and played a few games.

sam the nerd

William the monster

dad's face made everyone laugh the hardest

scary mary

must. flex. harder.


trying to decide if his hernia is bigger than his "4 pack"

I should be paid for posting this

Nothing was as big a hit as the strawberry shortcakes we had for dessert.

I had no idea the kids would love those soooooo much!  I should have taken pictures of everyone with whip cream covered smiles, and strawberry stained chins, but the moment was too great, and we don't allow phones at the table anyway.

Hopefully we only have a handful of crazy Sunday's left, before we can get outside!