My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Size 8...Wide.

William is a big boy. If we didn't already know that when he was born over 2 pounds bigger than the other two (at 9 1/2 lbs), or the fact that he wore 0-3 month clothes for one week, the size of his hands and feet have surely clued us in.

We know that William must have ankles, because he can walk and his feet move. We just haven't seen them yet. His legs go from thigh, to huge calf to feet. There is no narrowing of the leg down to the feet. Nope, just rolls and adorable baby chub the whole way down. I could just squish them all day...and I do.

His legs are not only huge, but his feet are big as well. They are long and wide. They are almost as tall as they are long. Basically, they look like squares with tiny peas on the ends for toes. For the first 8 months of his life, his toes never even came close to touching the ground, because the fat on the bottom of his feet was so thick.

Needless to say, I have hunted and hunted and hunted to try to find shoes to fit his feet. I went to four shoe stores, and even with the help of the employees and foot measuring equipment, we never found a shoe to fit William.

The ironic thing is that William LOVES shoes. One of his favorite things to do is to put Mary's shoes on and stomp all over the house. He also does this with Ben's shoes as well as mine.

Then, one fine day, I discovered these things at Walmart of all places. Yup, white trash, hunting, camo. boots. They were basically square, like Williams feet, and guess what...they fit! I couldn't believe it. I put them on Williams feet, and he refused to let me take them off. Even when I bought the shoes, the lady had to scan them on his feet. William absolutely loves his shoes. He has worn them everywhere, including church, because they are the only pair. I think they are so ugly, but I have no choice. And he loves them, so therefore, I love them.

The best part is that the bottom has a clear part on it. William cannot wear socks with these shoes, or they don't fit, so when he sits down, we can see his little toes in his shoes. For whatever reason, it is really funny.

This past week, I was in need of some new shoes. I found a great deal at a shoe store, and what do you know, it was buy one get one half off! William was with me, and at the time, he had no shoes on. His boots have finally become too small. Dang.

William was grabbing every shoe in sight and trying to put them on, so I decided to see if I could find something for him. I found a great pair for me, and then it was off on the hunt to find something for William. I had no real expectation to find anything.

Well, what do you know, we found a pair that fit William! Actually, the employee helped us find a pair. William is a size 7, but in order to fit his fat foot into the shoe, we had to get a size 8 wide. hahahaha

And they are so stinkin' cute! William was beyond thrilled!

Again, he wore the shoes out of the store. He took a few steps into the parking lot, and then starting laughing and running. He was so excited to have shoes that fit again. He kept looking down at his feet all day to make sure they were still there.

He sure loves his shoes, and I am so happy to have finally found a cute pair for him.
I sure love this boy, and am getting more excited every day for our next boy to join the clan. My three sons...I LOVE the sound of that.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Stickers...what stickers?

Part of the reward for passing off a piano piece, for my students, is choosing to put a sticker on the page they competed.

The power of the sticker is a funny thing. My students range from 6 years old up to 15, and they all grin when I pull out the pile of stickers. There is just something about that little reward, with the funny picture and the idea that you can stick them anywhere, that seems to appeal to all humans alike.

The stickers have been stashed under the piano bench when lessons are not taking place. I thought it was a great hiding place.

Um, I think I was wrong.

I was actually impressed that he was able to get the "gickers" off the paper and onto his head without anyone noticing, and with such perfection. Maya also had a nice assortmet of stickers all over her fur as well. She wasn't as proud to show them off as William was, but it was hilarious anyway.

He was so proud that all we could do was laugh and clap for the show...and put the stickers up one shelf higher. :)

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Tripple Ouch!

I have come to the conclusion that there is absolutely no way to lessen the fear or pain of those dreaded Kindergarten shots. It is one of those things that just have to be done, and it stinks.

I waited until this morning to tell Sam that he was getting them today, and I was so impressed with how brave he was! Of course, he was scared, but he willingly got into the car and even went through the whole appointment without a tear. What a man! And look at those amazing muscles.

He was weighed, measured, eyes were checked, bp taken, and so on. It is always good to hear that although he is a little guy (weighing in at 36lbs...only 4 pounds bigger than William, but 3 1/2 years older) he is healthy and doing great. He did it all like a pro! That gave me some hope...some.

And then the moment came. Sam hid behind me, and began shaking all over. To me, that was worse than crying. His lips were quivering and he was freezing cold. The poor kid was terrified. ugh.

We laid him down on the table, and then the thrashing and screams began. I got the fun duty of holding his arms down and trying to soothe him, while looking into his scared big blue eyes, as they poked him, three times. Each one deeper than the one before, and each one getting a louder yell than the one before. My ears are still ringing.

I don't think I will ever get used to watching my kids get shots. Poor William didn't enjoy it either. He began to cry after watching his big brother cry. I am pretty sure we scared all of the other kids in the rooms around us. Especially when Sam came out with a bloody face (from a bloody nose), limping, and still shuddering...with the nurse saying sorry over and over again. Awesome.
The suckers and stickers did seem to lessen the pain and the after crying shudders, but I still felt so bad for my sweet Sammy. ;)

Sam is happily watching a show now, with a tummy full of ice cream and Tylenol. All is well for him. He is done.

Lucky for me, I have at least two more times of going through this. I am hoping that the pain free micro-needle I read about in Readers Digest, will be out by then, and that these big, scary, painful needles will soon be a thing of the past.

Instead of describing hardships of our age by "hiking to school through 5 feet of snow, uphill both ways." It will be "getting stuck with a foot long needle, time and time again, down to the bone."

That will be a good day indeed.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Expecting the Unexpected???

Do you ever feel like you are waiting for something to happen, but you have no idea what it is. That would be me right now.

Blame it on the pregnancy hormones if you will, but I tell ya, I just feel so unsettled. It is weird! My mind just goes non stop, even more than usual.

I feel like I am waiting for something, but there is nothing really coming up that I would be excited, anxious or nervous for.

I am wondering if it has anything to do with the ultrasound/gender shock we had. Maybe now I don't feel like much is as it seems. It is very crazy to think one thing for a month, and then to have it completely switched. Very nuts (no pun intended, hehehe)!

I saw the boy parts (or what I am mostly convinced were boy parts), I heard the tech say it was for sure a boy, but I am still not 100% sold. A month ago, I saw and heard the opposite.
I am fine with either gender, but I guess I lost some faith in ultrasounds predicting the gender. I have been VERY tempted to pay the $ to get another ultrasound, and set the gender in stone, but I wonder if that would just be crazy.

Oh, and I thought I should mention, because people have been asking...Mary is totally fine now. I think the shock of baby going from girl to boy was just pretty big for her. That very night, she told me that she was happy for another brother, and to be the "princess" from now on. She is all smiles when she talks about the baby, and she hasn't mentioned a baby sister since. I love how kids can just move on like that.

Ultrasound change or not, I have ants in my pants. The winds of change are blowing, I just can't seem to figure out where or when. Sometimes I sure wish for a crystal ball. Don't you?

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


I had my 19 week ultrasound today.
I must say, that I always go into these things a bit nervous. I am not sure why, I just do.
Today was no different. I just felt that we were going to have a bit of a shock this time. Actually, I somehow knew we would. I was just praying that the shock would be something I could hadle. Something that I already know is going on, but just may be confirmed. Like the placenta being low.
Well, it is something I can handle, and for that I am so grateful.

Our girl is actually a boy.'s a boy. And oh boy, is it ever a boy. He was not shy at all!

To say we were shocked would be an understatement. One month ago, in that room, we were staring right in between the legs of our 14 week old baby in womb, and there was nothing there. Nothing at all. In fact, the tech was pretty dang sure it was a girl. Sure enough, to tell us that she would tell people it was a girl if it was her baby.

So we did tell people. And including those people, we told Mary. We told her with a huge MAYBE, and I am so glad we did that. She knew that today there would be a tiny chance that her new sister could be a brother.

Regardless, when we told her today (and we tried to make it very happy and positive), her reaction broke my heart into a million pieces. She tried to be so tough and to even giggle about the mix up, and to hide the tears, but the tears came, and then came some more. It was VERY VERY sad. I can completely relate, as I have been in her shoes before. Oh man, it was so sad to see her so sad. I actually can't type about it anymore.

We had a good talk, a good cry, and a good hug, and now she seems fine. What a hard thing for a 7 year old to understand, and for a momma to try to explain.

Our little boy is healthy, growing at the right pace, adorable, has a pug face like the others, and will be very loved and adored in our family. We are more than happy to have him and we can't wait to meet him. My placenta is still low, but not scary anymore, and there is no longer the threat of a c-section or previa at this point. Hooray!

I was shocked and I have had to make a complete change in my mind, but after watching him suck his thumb, yawn, kick, and wave, he grabbed my heart and wrapped his spirit around it. I am in love with my precious son, and there is no turning back.

p.s. Last reminder. The blog will go private tomorrow or the next day. If you haven't give me your email and you would like to still view the blog, please get it to me. This includes family members. Thanks!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Before It's Too Late

The holidays are quickly becoming a thing of the past, and I need to post about them for journaling purposes, before it's too late. We are having some nasty computer problems, so blogging, checking email, and looking at your blogs has become a task that takes hours...truly. And honestly, I don't enjoy spending hours on a computer, so this post may be long, but I am trying to cram it all into one..while I am actually on this messed up computer.

First up..Mary's Birthday Highlights.
I ate lunch at school with her. She showed me how to do everything, and I enjoyed recess with Mary and her very silly friends. It meant the world to her. It was awesome.

An Origami kit, some adorable Carmela Coyle books, a Baby alive (that is way too alive for me:) ), lots of Pet Shops and a gift card to Justice For Girls! (the favorite gift that we used that very day...40% off of everything, score!)

A Birthday Week at school. A poster about Mary, a favorite game, reading a book to the class, sharing candy, a Birthday book made by the class, and so on. So neat!

Hot dogs, with the bun, watermelon and root beer for dinner. Cake and ice cream later.

Turning 7! Woah.

Playing with best friend Taylor with all of her new toys.

Next up...Christmas Eve.

Going out to breakfast (tradition) and eating the best cinnamon roll french toast in the world. Go Kneaders!

Running last minute errands

Making and delivering goodies to neighbors and friends

Delivering food we gathered for a previous FHE to the homeless shelter in Salt Lake. Our hearts were very softened toward those people who have so little and are so grateful.

Appetizers for dinner and frape.

Christmas Bible story.

Cookies and milk for Santa.

Opening new pj's and slippers.

Bed time.

At one point, I went in their room to do some "santa stuff." I checked to make sure they were sound asleep. Right before I was going to do my Santa duty, Sam shot up in bed and said, "Oh, its just you." I think I jumped 5 feet. He then told me that he thought Santa was in the room, so he was pretending to be asleep. Geeze! I waited another 2 hours before I went in there again.

And now onto Christmas Day:
Wake up early. Kids run down stairs with cameras rolling and Christmas music playing.

Go through stockings and watch the joy and excitement that Christmas brings.

Head to church for an hour of beautiful music about the Saviour. I played lots of piano, and was so relieved that all went well. The pieces were HARD this year.

Back home to open presents. Lots of smiles and lots of love.

Favorites: Mary, the long awaited for American Girl doll. Sam, remote control race car. William, lawn mower that makes lots of noise. Me, a soft, warm, cozy down comforter. Ben, new skis and a gift certificate for a one hour professional massage.

Pack and head to Pocatello to spend the next week with family.

WONDERFUL Christmas full of magic, the Saviour, love, and joy.

Ben and I celebrated our 8th Anniversary the next day.
We went to a movie and just hung out with family and relaxed. I sure love him so much and have felt very blessed to live life with him by my side. I can think of no one better for me, and no one that I love more. I am excited to know that my future is with him, forever and always.

Week in Idaho

Hanging out with family.

Playing lots of BANG!

Hanging out with cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. playing games, talking and eating pizza.

Playing at a gymnastics gym and playing for two hours.

Going to a movie with Grandma.

Shopping and playing at the mall.


A fun Birthday date for Mary and Aunt Kelsey. Getting nails done and going out to lunch.

Family Bowling on New Year's Eve.

Burning the tree with gas and Fireworks to welcome in 2012.

Having enough time to slow down and let revelation and inspiration sink in. All of those "inclings" I have been given the past few months come to light when I finally relax. New resolutions for 2012 are made and changes are being put into motion with a few things.

It is always good to re-evaluate, change things up, and try to better ourselves for the next year.

Our January Spring
It has been sunny, gorgeous and in the 50's this week, and I can feel my spirit soaring with the sunlight! It has been wonderful and so refreshing. I can't believe it is January and not April, but I will take it for now. We even went to the park yesterday and we were not cold. Woah.

So, there you have it. Another year gone by. Another holiday season wrapped up. A new, fresh year full of hope, excitement, and fun planned. And a lot of lessons learned.

And don't forget, the blog is going private in a week, so send me your email if you would like an invite.

(just had to post this) William has learned to say "cheese" and I LOVE It!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Going Private

After some thought this past week, I have decided to make our blog private.
I am limited to the number of people that I can invite to view the blog, but I will try to accomodate as many of you as I can. I will invite close family and friends first, and go from there.

I don't want to shut anyone out, or seem rude in any way. We just don't feel comfortable with our blog and our lives being open to anyone out there in web world anymore. We feel the need for more privacy.

If you have been following our blog, and would like to continue to follow it, please leave your email in the comment section, or send me an email. If you don't know my address, just let me know you want to view the blog, and I will send it to you.

I will make the blog private in a week, in order to try to collect all of the emails that I will need from all of you.

Happy blogging!