My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Tuesday, March 31, 2009


I woke up feeling like I have been hit by a dump truck. Checked my throat...little white pockets everywhere. I guess they decided to spread out and invite friends over. Lymph nodes are huge, fever back. I am waiting for the penicillin to kick in, hopefully it is sooner than later. I can't take much more of this, and neither can my family. Another day in the life of the living dead is about to begin. Rock on.

Monday, March 30, 2009

I want my mommy!!!!

Let's start from the beginning. While I was in Idaho, Ben got sick...very very very sick. I got home Sunday night (after a 12 1/2 hour drive) to Ben who looked like the living dead. I got the kids to bed and then Ben and I spent the rest of the night battling one of the worst fevers I have ever seen in a person. Seriously, Ben was burning through the blankets. He would go into these crazy coughing fits only to end up spitting out bloody mucus into a bowl. Seriously, it was bad, really bad.
The next morning, I got up (after seeing every hour of the clock that night) and cleaned the house in a daze. Ben's parents were coming into town that day, and we were all looking forward to it. I was sooooooo excited to have some help and just to get a good boost, ya know what I mean.
After his second doctor visit, and a nasty test where they pushed a q-tip up into Ben's sinuses, it was determined that Ben had Influenza. No folks, not just your every day sniffles and fever flu, I am talking INFLUENZA..the kind that killed entire towns not too long ago. Yeah, that one. It is pretty dang serious. And of course, it is a virus, so it just had to run its course. (for two weeks!)
It was day 6 of Ben being sick and his fever was still 100.1 with Tylenol and Motrin in his system. As long as he had a fever, he was very contagious.
Ben's parents ended up having to leave a day and 1/2 after they got here in order to try to avoid getting sick. It stunk, we were all so so so sad, but it made perfect sense.
Ben continued to fever, cough, lose his voice, get the chills and spit out bloody gunk for the next day or so. Finally, this week, he is starting to get better. He is off the couch and has energy to get around and do stuff. He still has to whisper a lot though, in order to keep the pain out of his vocal cords. I have honestly never seen a person this sick before, and I have seen a lot. It breaks my heart that he suffered the worst of it alone for 5 days while I was gone.
On Saturday, we were finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I was soooooo excited for this week to begin and for us to get on with life. Last week was one of the longest most exhausting weeks of my life. It seriously sucked!!! I can only imagine what Ben must feel like. I just wanted to get back to our normal routine and normal life.
Saturday night, while walking through Walmart, I got a sore throat. Sunday, it was unbearable, and my body ached so badly I could hardly keep a blanket on.
Sunday night (last night), I didn't sleep because of the chills, fever and body aches, and thought I would die every time I swallowed.
Ben and I were soooooooo worried that I had Influenza, especially because of the pregnancy. I was scared to death to be as sick as I saw Ben. The fever alone would hurt the baby. I got downright depressed.
I just got back from the doctor today, and I have strep throat. I have never been happy to hear that I have strep, but just knowing that it wasn't influenza brought smiles to our faces. I was also really relieved that I got the Q-Tip shoved down my throat instead of up my nose into my sinuses, like poor Ben. I was really nervous about that. The strep throat has nothing at all to do with what Ben has, and we are both totally contagious to each other as well as the kids. The doc says we just simply have had bad luck. Hooray for us! I get to sleep on the couch tonight and probably tomorrow night as well. If Ben got strep right now, it would be a nightmare. And I REALLY don't want Influenza. We don't want the kids to have either.
Luckily, I can take the penicillin and hopefully start feeling better soon. I did get this cool mouth wash, that Ben also got for his illness, that totally numbs your throat for about 20 min. The pus pockets ALL over my throat look pretty nasty, especially the ones that have popped and are scabbing. I can't wait to numb those.(anyone sick yet)
So far, as long as I eat every hour, I don't get to nauseated with the pregnancy. Well, with strep, it is all I can do to get water in. So, add nausea to the list.
For now, Ben and I are tag teaming with the kids. We are both sick, and both tired.
I still pretty much feel like crap at the moment, and my throat feels like a raw, pussy piece of meat that is on fire. My eyes water every time I swallow. I have zero energy, but I don't know if that is from the pregnancy or strep, or a little of both. Ben is doing a lot better though, thank heavens. So, he naps here and I nap there. I take Mary here and he takes Sam there. I feel like our house is an episode of The Night of the Living Dead. I am just praying my heart out that a miracle will happen and our kids can stay healthy.
Someday, we will all be healthy again, our house will be clean again, we will eat a dinner that doesn't consist of cereal or hot dogs, and life will go on. Until then..... I want my mommy!!!!!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Ear Piercing!!!

Mary is REALLY into jewelry and accessories right now. It cracks me up, because I was just never that way. She gets it from my sister Kelsey. They are so alike.
I love it though. I think it is so cute. Mary has even made us late to church one time because she was in her room finding the right rings and purse that would match her dress.
Last week, before I took off for Idaho, I decided to make her a "Diva Corner" in her room. I made her a little table for her jewelry and jewelry cases, got some hooks from walmart and hung up a cute mirror with a hot pink feather boa around it. All of her purses, necklaces, bracelets, crowns, rings, bags, chapsticks, lip glosses, dress up shoes, ect. now have a place to go. She spends a lot of time there. Sooner than later I am going to get her a big hot pink shag diva chair. It will be so fun!
Mary has been asking to get her ears pierced for a while now, and I have bluntly refused. I just didn't think she would really go through with it. Well, Grandma JoJo and Papa were here this week and Mary was getting bored sitting in the house, so JoJo and I decided to take the kiddos to the mall and get Mary's ears pierced. I honestly didn't think she would really do it.
I was WAY more nervous than Mary was. She climbed right up into the chair and picked out the earrings she wanted. Her favorite color is rainbow, so she picked out some diamond earrings that sparkle rainbow colors when she moves her head.

I signed a million papers and then we were ready. The lady put the marker dots on her ears to make sure everything would be even and then grabbed the "gun." This is where I pictured Mary jumping off the chair in tears saying nevermind. Wrong!

Mary sat totally still and just flinched a little with the first one. I expected her to start bawling and to beg not to get the other ear done. Instead she just held my hand and sat very still while the other ear was done. NOT ONE TEAR!!!! I was closer to tears than she was..seriously.

The lady held up the mirror so Mary could see her new earrings and she just grinned. She and Sam got a sucker and we were on our way. Minutes after getting her ears pierced, Mary and Sam were happily playing on the quarter machines. Thanks JoJo.

She is such a tough kid, it cracks me up. She LOVES her earrings and has not complained about them at all. They do look adorable on her, especially when her hair is in a ponytail for gymnastics.
So there it is, the ears are pierced. Few! Now if I could just be as brave as my daughter, then I would get that adorable short hair cut I really want, don't have the guts to try.
Can't wait to see what she wants next.

Mary showing off her new necklace from grandma JoJo and her new earrings.

p.s. I was going to do a post about our visit with JoJo and Papa, but they had to leave early (in order to avoid getting sick), and I only really got one picture. We had a GREAT time with them while they were here though. The kids were in heaven with back to back grandparent visits. We love it when they come, and we are so sad when they leave. We really appreciate them taking the time to come see us...even when Ben is so incredibly sick (and I am talking seriously sick folks, I have NEVER seen him like this, it is so sad). It was a great time while it lasted.

When Ben felt well enough to go out, we went to Garden of the Gods for a while. It was FREEZING, but it was fun.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Home Sweet Country Home

I just got back from spending the last 5 days in Idaho. Shelly, my best friend's older sister (with whom she was very close to), passed away quite suddenly, and I went to Idaho to be there for Katie and her mourning family.
I was really torn on weather or not I should make the 11-12 hour drive alone with my kids or not, but in the end, I decided that it was worth it to be with Katie during a dark hour in her life. One that she was living only a year ago as well. The family has been through a lot.
It was a WONDERFUL trip. The kids traveled like true champions. They did wonderfuly considering they had no DVD player, no tape or CD player, and we drove through nothing for almost the entire trip. Seriously, they did so well! The car did well too. It was smoking so badly the last 1/2 of the trip, and I was a nervous wreck, but it got us home safe and sound. Few!
Katie lives in Pocatello, so I was able to stay with my family and be with them a ton while I spent the time that was needed with Katie.
The viewing, the cemetery and funeral were beautiful and heart wrenching all at the same time. Shelly was a beautiful person, and she will be missed. I came away feeling closer to the spirit and more determined to enjoy the moments I have with those I love. Katie looked exhausted, but has that pregnancy glow and is holding up well. She is very strong, and so is her family. Shelly's passing has been very rough on them, but they are survivors. I just hope that her husband and little baby boy can get the comfort and peace they need. My heart aches for them. She is due in two months with her third child...Levi. I love her so much. We have a bond that nothing will ever shatter. We met in first grade and our hearts have been knit together ever since. She is my best friend in the world. It was nice to be able to spend some time with her after the funeral and everything were done as well. I love hanging out with her.

Katie and her husband Landon looking at the casket.

At the cemetery.

A bunch of my very close and very out of control friends came to town for the funeral as well, and I cannot even express how incredibly wonderful and refreshing it was to be with them again. My spirit was soaring! It was a riot being with them again. Oh man, it was so much fun. We picked up right where we left off, and we talked and laughed over lunch as well as at the services. I don't think any of us have really changed much, and it was hilarious. Well, we were more serious at the funeral and everything, but we still talked non stop while driving and waiting for the services to begin. I miss them soooooooo much! I cried all the way home after I left them. They are so dear to me, and I truly miss them. There is nothing like a group of friends that you know you will NEVER lose and the friendship will NEVER fade, no matter the time or the distance.

Me, Becca, Heidi and Riss at "Food For Thought" downtown. It was a good time...a really good time!

I was also able to spend some good quality time with my family in the house I grew up in and love. I got to breathe in the fresh country air and my kids were able to romp around in the fields and the huge space that my parents home provides. It was so refreshing for all of us. I absolutely love the home I grew up in. I loved the wide open spaces, the sounds of the farmers in the fields and the horses and cows out roaming around. I loved running up on the canal and watching the pipe movers. I love everything about it, and I did at the time I was living at home as well. I never took it for granted. It is in my blood. It is so calming and great.
My family and I had a great time together. I went shopping with my mom (and we did well ;) ), had bon fires with the family, went out to lunch, went to my cousins baby shower and saw TONS of my relatives, watched my sister totally smoke everyone in her race at the track meet (she runs the 400m, same thing I did, but she is way faster), we stayed up late watching House, played in the yard, ate everything I have been so careful not to eat, but I didn't care, and relaxed. Tyler and Jessica came to visit as well. It was great to see my little brother and his wife again. They are so cute together.

Kelsey bouncing on the trampoline with the kiddos...they loved it.

Sam learning to jump on the trampoline. It was HILARIOUS! He loved it.

Mary's domain for the day...the fort. My dad made it, and it was a highlight of my childhood.

Setting up the trampoline with Tyler and Jessica. Mary did a great job helping.

Where there are Belnap's, there is fire. We love fire.

Hanging with the cousins at Diana's baby shower. Top (me and Jenny) Bottom (me and Diana) I got to see so many relatives at the shower, it was really fun!

A great visit with Grandpa. I love him so much.

Tyler got us all working on the yard one day. We set up the play area and cleaned up a little. Isn't my mom so cute!

Buddy's. We decided to break Kelsey and Jessica in to this place. The salad is so incredibly garlicy that it makes your eyes water. For some reason, we love it. Seriously, it makes you smell for days. I can still smell it on my skin. yummy.

The girls a Buddy's. Sorry the picture is dark.

All in all, it was such a wonderful trip. It was a "deep trip" in a way. I just felt like I re-connected with my roots and my dear friends, and my family, and my own heart. It was so refreshing and so uplifting. I laughed so hard I thought I would pass out, I cried and mourned and hurt so deeply, I felt satisfied and happy watching my kids run around in the fresh air, I reminisced like crazy when I went to my High School to watch Kelsey's track meet, I had a blast being with my friends, and I missed my dear friends and the good ol' days, and for one brief week in time, I felt like I was home.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Aching Hearts

I just got word today that my best friends sister, Shelly, passed away unexpectedly this morning. Katie and I have been best friends since 1st grade. Her family is my family, and my family is hers. We actually even call each others siblings brothers and sisters. My heart aches deeply and I hurt so much for Katie and the rest of the family at this time. I have shed many tears of my own. Just one year ago this month, Katie's adorable nephew passed away from cancer. They have been through a lot, but her family is strong and close.
Shelly left behind her husband Mickey, and her 6 month old son, Morgan. I am doing everything I can to get to Katie and to be with her and the family during such a rough time. Kind of puts life in perspective, doesn't it? Good thing for the Gospel, which in time, can help heal our hearts.

Monday, March 16, 2009

St. Patrick's 5K Fun!!!!!

First of all...a big thanks to all of you. It was so neat to hear from so many friends and family on my last post. Seriously, the comments just kept on coming, and it was really touching. It was great to hear from some distant friends, and to get in touch again. It was really neat to know that so many of you are supporting us and taking time to check up on us. We sure love you all! I was wary at first, but now I don't regret letting you all know about the pregnancy early on. Now we really do feel that no matter what happens, we have a wonderful support system.
The pregnancy is going great so far. I have the normal fatigue and little nausea here and there, but nothing to complain about. I have had MUCH worse, so I am very very happy!!!!
Saturday was the St. Patrick's Day 5K and parade. It was so much fun!!!! The weather was PERFECT! Seriously, it was the best running weather I could ask for. It was so fun to see over 1500 people all dressed up in green and a lot of people went all out and looked hilarious. It was also great to see friends and to experience the race with them. Good job Paula and Trinette...we did it!!!! It was a really really fun race! It was also flat, which I LOVED! I rarely run a flat race anymore, it was heavenly. I was pretty excited to get a P.R., but I am still trying to figure out what a good 5K pace is for me. I am so used to reserving energy for super long runs and holding back, so I am not used to just going all out. I am slowly learning though, and I am gaining a big love of 5K's...they are kind of addicting.
After the race was the parade. I have to say that it was one of the better parades I have been to. The weather was nice and warm and we had a really good spot. It was fun to be with friends as well. The kids got lots of toys and candy and had a great time! The feeling in the air was just fun and happy. The sun was shining, and it was a good time.
All in all, it was a really fun Saturday and I am on the hunt for more 5K's in the future. They are great motivation to keep running through the pregnancy.

Right before the race (sun is right in my eyes hehehe)

Hanging out with the cheerleaders. (again, sun is in our eyes)

After the race with my best buddy.

At the was great!

My race buddies, Paula and Trinette! Go us!!!!!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Worlds Best Recipe...don't pass this one up!!!

I am cooking something WONDERFUL today, and it is so amazing that I really want to share the recipe with all of here it is.

in-numerable cups of love and joy

LOTS and LOTS of smiles

0 cups of throwing far so good

A dash of nausea, but not too much

Sift in 2 weeks of being SUPER tired, and a lot more to be added the next few months

one big smile that can't be wiped off my face

a pinch, well maybe a lot of pinches of exercising....I can keep my same work out plan until it gets uncomfortable, so my exercise schedule hasn't changed yet. So far, I can still do the usual, it is just a little more tiring.

Approx 12 servings of doctor visits, add more or less as desired

Lots and Lots of chips and salsa (seriously, I almost ate a whole bag yesterday..despite my goal of not eating too much salt to try to reduce water retention in the future..hahahaha..can't help what you crave)

A couple of new shirts here and a few new pairs of pants there. Add as needed.

Two positive pregnancy tests (just to make sure, and because it is fun to see TWO pink lines)

One negative pregnancy test (because I always get a neg. the same week as a positive, I will NEVER understand those things)

Mix well, and bake at approx. 98.9 degrees but not to exceed 101 degrees for about nine more months. (minus 6 weeks..I am about that far along)

If all goes normal, the wonderful result should be done and ready to come out of the oven around Nov. 15th.

We are soooooooooooo excited and filled with joy. We are ready and excited for baby #3 to enter our lives. It is such a precious feeling.

Side note....Due to a miscarriage not too long ago, we know we still aren't out of the woods and that the next few weeks will tell a lot. We were going to wait until then to let ya'll know we are expecting, but hey, dear friends can share the joys and the losses together. We will all just hope for the best in this case. So far, so good!!!!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Bedroom Set

After trying to get some good pictures of the bedroom set, I decided to just use the ones used to advertise it on the website. The bedroom set it the exact one we have, but the furnishings in the pictures aren't ours. So, here it is! We are still totally in love with it, and we smile every time we walk in our room. The new mattress is also so incredibly comfortable. We feel like royalty in our room now, and we LOVE IT!!!!

Sunday, March 8, 2009


Just thought I should mention that we are all healthy and happy now. Luckily Ben and I got away without getting the flu this time. Yeah! Kids are over it, and we are back to life. Mary got over it just in time to go skiing again this weekend. She did great! The only symptom we are fighting now is some serious BOREDOM!!!! Blah! Anyone want to come visit us and bring some action to our home????

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Round Two

Well, the impossible is possible. We have flu #2. Just a few days shy of two weeks since the last time the flu was raging wild in our home. So far this time, Ben and I are still healthy and keeping our food down. Can't say the same for the kiddos. Mary threw up for two days this time and is on the toilet after EVERY meal, snack or drink. She has been spending a lot of time on the couch, because she has no energy or nutrients in her. Sam threw up so violently last night that we had to clean his bed outside with the hose. So far today I have changed four messy diapers and Ben changed one this morning. It is only 1:00.
As nasty as it sounds, the only thing really bugging me is that WE JUST HAD THIS!!! Kind of nuts huh! The kids aren't really that fussy or needy though, and I am getting a lot of fun reading done, so in a way, it has been a nice past few days just laying low at home. We also got our fun little TV box thing, so we now have about 5 channels. The kids are loving PBS and I am excited to possibly watch Oprah. Wahoo!!!
Anyway...I am just really hoping that Ben or I don't wake up tonight to have a late night meeting with John. Cross your fingers.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

1st time skiing...Yippee!

We took Mary skiing for her first time yesterday. It was awesome! We had such a great time! We went to Copper Mountain. It is a HUGE resort and it is in a gorgeous place. The drive was every bit as gorgeous as the ski hill itself.
Despite my being worried about being a zombie because of going to bed at 3:00am (it was such a fun girls night coming soon), I went anyway, and I am so glad I did. It was soooooooo much fun!!!
The resort was unbelievable, and just so big! There was a lot of shopping, an ice skating rink, restaurants, condos, ect. The weather was perfect...seriously, we all got some great sun and we have some color on our faces now. It was a gorgeous day!
The US Free Skiing Open was going on while we were there, so we got to watch some of the best of the best doing their thing in the 1/2 pipe, including one double back flip! It was great!
Sam was able to play right next to the hill Mary and Ben were on , so I could watch them and watch Sam. That was so nice for me and for Sam. Mary and Ben could literally just ski right down to us. There was really loud and really fun music playing as well, and music always makes everything more lively and fun.
Mary LOVED LOVED LOVED skiing. She is a natural for sure...takes after her dad. They are going to be quite the team.

This is just a picture of one little part of the resort. The resort was WAY bigger than the picture shows. It was so huge and really really nice!

Here is a picture of the 1/2 pipe where the tournament was going on. It was so fun to watch that throughout the day. They had the coolest TV camera on a zip line that followed the guys in the pipe.

Ben was an awesome teacher. He taught her how to walk in her skis for a while, then they rode up the magic carpet. The lift operator also let Sam and I ride up it even though we didn't have skis on. Sam was in heaven..until he got a little tired.
Mary fell at the top and got her finger pulled down into the carpet, but luckily the operator stopped the machine before it became really bad, and believe me, it could have been bad....really bad.

Mary and Daddy going up the "magic carpet" for the first time. So cute!

After that, Mary wasn't so sure anymore, so we took a break. We gave her some M&M's and some apple juice, and she perked right up. After that, she just took off! Ben Taught her how to do the pizza slice, and she got the hang of it pretty quickly.

Learning the "pizza slice."

Seriously, by the end of the day she was speeding down the hill by herself, without Ben holding on to her, and she had the biggest grin on her face. She crashed a few times, but got up laughing each time. They went non-stop for almost 2 1/2 hours with no breaks. Mary and Ben were both in heaven. It was such a precious thing to watch. Mary didn't want to leave when the day was over, and she wanted to go again today. Ben grinned from ear to ear while she was begging for more.

Way too precious!

It was so much fun that we plan on going again next weekend. Next time I am going to bring skis as well, honestly, being there makes everyone fall in love with skiing. It was great!

I hate to take away from the skiing post, but on the way to Copper Basin, I FINALLY got Sam singing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" for real. He also sings "5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" in the same video...SCORE!! So here it is...enjoy!