My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Saturday, February 22, 2014

what a week

This post will not be interesting to most of my readers, and is really long.  It is mainly just for me to document this past week, because I know that someday down the road, it will be extremely amusing.  Feel free to skip this post.

This past week has been nuts.  Full of good, fun things, but just plain crazy! 

We are usually busy in general, but a good amount of busy.  Not too busy that we feel overwhelmed, but not sitting around a ton either.  Just doing our thing, with our schedule, and living life.  Pretty normal, and just our groove.

This week, however, was so nuts, that I decided that I should document it. 

Last Thursday:  Our 10 week ultrasound that we had been anxious about for 2 weeks.  My stress level was through the roof that morning, knowing we would find out if our baby in utero had lived or died in the past 14 days.  Odds were slim of the baby making it.  Found out the baby lived, and spent the day feeling relieved, happy, and a big rush of emotion.  Also, set up for Valentine's late that night, so the kids could wake up to a surprise.

Last Friday...Valentines Day.  Try to set up family gatherings since my sister in law is in town from Alaska.  Plans are all over the place.  Trying to work with so many people, feelings, and schedules.  Celebrate Valentine's with family, get kids off to school, get William off to his preschool party.  Clean the entire house. Battle pregnancy sickness.  Mom and Kelsey arrive after kids get home.  They babysit while Ben and I go on a date.  Come home, visit with mom and Kelsey, we all go to bed.

Last Saturday...Ben takes kids snow skiing in the morning.  They get home and Mary and I head to Provo/Orem with mom and Kelsey to go wedding dress shopping with Kelsey.  Have a great time and find some gorgeous dresses in Provo.  I get extremely sick on the way to Salt Lake for lunch.   Eat at Cheesecake factory, go to another dress shop, find jumbo jaw breakers for kids at Winco, drive all over the place, laugh, talk, compare dresses, talk about wedding stuff, and life stuff, and a little of everything, and head home.  Try again to set up family gatherings.  Back and forth with people.  Plans fall through, but we are so tired, it was a good thing. We all crash when we get back to our house.

Sunday...I play piano in sacrament meeting...scared out of my mind due to lack of practicing time, but it goes pretty well.  Mom and Kelsey stay for Sacrament meeting, then leave to go see my brother in South Jordan for a while.  We eat dinner and clean up a little after church.  Mom and Kelsey come back.  Eat leftover cheesecake, watch a movie, talk, go to bed. school.  Mom and Kelsey head home.  Ben goes to work.  Day is CRAZY with kids home and off schedule.  Drama with everyone I encounter.  Really weird day. I am sick, really sick from pregnancy.  Mary has tumbling, we eat dinner, we have FHE and crash.

Tuesday:  Wake up and clean the house, and change guest bedroom sheets.  Dress like a clown day for Mary and Sam at school.  Go grocery shopping with William and Luke, then drive to South Jordan to pick up my sister in law and her baby girl to come stay with us for a few days.  Car starts acting up on my way down the canyon.  I get lost.
Pick up Juliet and Hazel, car locks in 1st gear, starts to overheat.  Get lost twice coming home.  Car locks into gear coming up Parley's canyon, numerous times. Luke cries. Finally get home, and know that car is bad.  Kids get home, Ben gets home, eat dinner, Sam has Karate, visit with Juliet and Hazel, Ben calls car shop.

Wednesday:  Get kids to school, mismatch day, try to get Sam's lizard cage at Petco, and spend an hour learning about all the different kinds.  Ben takes car to shop in Provo. Go shopping with Juliet for Jeans.  Unfortunately, have to leave Juliet at our house, I pack a suitcase for Ben, drive to Provo with William and Luke, pick up Ben at the car shop (where we had to leave our car), and drive Ben to the airport for business trip to LA.  Drive back to Juliet.  Take Sam out to Dairy Keen for a pre-Birthday dinner, go back to pet store with everyone, come home, hang out, get kids to bed, set up for Sam's Birthday, watch a chick flick with Juliet, crash. 

Thursday: Sam's Birthday. Celebrate a little with Sam, , get kids to school, pajama day at school, my sister in law, Nichole, comes up to get Juliet, because our car is broken (learned that it needs a new transmission and radiator...rock on).  Hang out a little, Juliet leaves.  Clean the house, change guest room sheets, kids get home from school, grandma JoJo arrives!  Celebrate Sam's Birthday, presents, back to pet store to pick out a lizard, dinner, bed. Last night taking progesterone....hooray!!! Relieved that JoJo is here.

Friday:  5:00 am.  Drive Luke to Riverton Hospital for tubes and adenoids out.  Grandma JoJo gets other kids ready for school, crazy hair day, out the door, and William settled. She rocks! Spend entire morning at hospital with Luke.  Drive back home, get lost, drive forever.  Hang out, completely forget William has preschool, kids get home, visit with JoJo, dinner, take off to get Ben from airport in Salt Lake.  I bring Luke and William.  Pick up Ben, get home, visit, crash...feeling pretty nauseous.  Drove 4 hours today. Bummed because I had to miss a girls night that I was looking forward to, but almost too tired anyway. So, so grateful for JoJo's help.  This day could not have happened without her.

Saturday:  SLEEP IN!!!  Clean, hang out, get ready for Sam's party.  Have Sam's  high energy, loud, but fun party. Lots of help from JoJo. Clean up from party, hang out, eat dinner, set up lizard cage, blog, get kids down, and here I am.

Mix all of this in with regular every day life stuff, and it was nuts!  It was really fun though to have people in our home, to see family, and to celebrate holidays and Birthday's.  I would not change it. It was a lot, and pretty chaotic, but honestly, it really was a good week...I just wish the dang nausea would go away.

Now...on to Disneyland!!!

tubes and adenoids

Yesterday morning, bright and early, (5:00am), Luke and I headed off down the canyon to take him to the Primary Children's unit at the Riverton Hospital (a mile from our old house in Herriman), for Luke to get a second set of tubes in his ears, and his adenoids taken out.

Luke was scheduled to have this done a few weeks ago, but he came down with RSV, so it was postponed until now.

We have been excited for this small surgery, because we have been told that it would open the door for him to be able to hear a lot better, and begin talking.

I was so worried about Luke crying the entire way there (which was over an hour), because he had been fasting, and it was a long drive.  I prayed like crazy that somehow Luke would sleep.

I was able to transfer him from his bed, to the car, and drive all the way to Riverton without him waking up.  It was awesome!  I am so grateful for the help of the Lord, even with the small stuff.  It was a big worry for me, and could have been an awful drive.

When we got there, he had 4 different people listen to his lungs.  Because he is still coughing and has mucus, they were worried about the anesthesia.  He was cleared to still have the surgery, and I was very relieved.

Luke didn't once cry for his bottle, and I couldn't believe.  We waited in our own room, and the nurse brought toys to us.  Luke couldn't go in the toy room with the other kids, because of his cough.

He played happily and we talked with different doctors coming in and out until it was time for Luke to go back.

They brought a cute little red wagon for him to ride in, over to the surgery room.  He waved at all the nurses we passed and melted hearts with his sweet blue eyes and curly blonde hair.

20 minutes later, it was done!  The ENT surgeon, who is so awesome, and did Luke's tubes last time, met me in a room to talk about how it went.

He was grinning from ear to ear, and literally rubbed his hands together with excitement when he told me about all the "sludge" they irrigated out of Luke's ear canals.  This is not something they normally have to do, but in Luke's case, it was very necessary, and apparently, very fun to clear out. 

The "sludge" was so thick that Dr. Tagge was positive that it was seriously harming his hearing. It had also completely blocked a tube that was there from last year.

He was truly excited for Luke to have his ears cleared out, his nasty infected adenoids removed, and new tubes in his ears.  He told us to be ready for some big changes. I really appreciate a doctor that is as excited for Luke as we are.

Luke had a horrible recovery from the anesthesia!  He woke up too fast and completely freaked out.  He ripped his IV out a little, thrashed all over, arched his back, and screamed and screamed and screamed.  It took 2 narcotics to finally calm him down.  It was crazy!

We left 2 hours later...after he woke up from his drugged sleep, and finally headed home.

The last day has been amazing with Luke!!  He is mimicking everything we say, and talking clearly!  He was on sensory overload yesterday, with all of this new noise, and would go from hyper to crying in seconds, all day long.

He sings songs with me, he said bye bye for the first time, he clearly says mom and dad, and even said cupcake today at Sam's party.  He is as happy and excited as we are.  It literally made me tear up a few times to hear him mimic me and then clap his hands and laugh with joy.

On another side though, he is startled by noises that used to not phase him.  The toilet, the vacuum (his favorite thing in the universe), William's yells, and banging noises.

I am so grateful that Luke had this little procedure done, and for the leaps and bounds he is already making.

What a blessing modern medicine is!!!

birthday boy's big week

Sam's Birthday was this week.  It has been an incredibly busy week, so Sam got to spread out the celebrations.

The night before his Birthday, my sister in law was here from Alaska, so we decided to do Sam's Birthday dinner early, to celebrate with her,  and we went out to Dairy Keen.  It is a locally owned hamburger/milkshake place that people come from all over to try.  They have these amazing award winning shakes that are so good!  They also have trains going around the ceiling, and Lego tables and train tables throughout the place for kids to play with.  We all had a good time, and Sam enjoyed is brownie shake.

Yes, it is Dairy Keen, not Dairy King.  It was actually built before Diary King.  Still hard to get used to though.

After Dairy Keen, it was off to the pet store.  Sam is getting a lizard for his Birthday, and it is a very big deal to him.  He has been talking about it for months! We let him look at the lizards and get an idea of what he might want.

On his actual Birthday, Ben was out of town, and we had company coming and going, so we kept it low key. 

He still had a great day though.

He brought treats to school, played with friends after school, had pizza for dinner, grandma JoJo arrived, and we went to the pet store where he picked out the actual lizard he wants, and we bought the cage and everything else for it.  We are waiting until we get home from Disneyland before we bring the lizard home.  That way no one else has to take care of it for us.

He came home, opened presents, and we all crashed.

Today was the party.  My oh my, was it a party.  Twelve boys ages 6-8 blasting through the house.  Three couldn't come, so it would have been 15...and that is just the boys his age that live within walking distance of our house. Obviously, Sam had a great time.

We played pin the tail on the lizard.
Ben made an awesome lizard!

Balloon stomp.

Did a piƱata (no pictures, sorry).  I was just trying not to get smacked with the stick.

Decorated cupcakes like lizards.

Sam blew out the candles.
thinking hard about his wish

Sam opened presents and handed out goodie bags, nd then we set them loose to go crazy until their parents came to pick them up.

It was 2 hours of complete chaos, and lots of noise, but Sam's grin made it totally worth it.  There is a very awesome group of boys in this neighborhood.

I think Sam had a great Birthday...he sure deserved it.

Fun facts about Sam
He loves lizards.
He can be very somber.
He is extremely outgoing around friends, and playing with friends is the highlight of his life at this point.
He is VERY good at math, and plays math games on the computer for fun.
He loves Legos and spent 4 hours building his first Lego Star Wars ship by himself today.
He talks himself to sleep, and has to sleep wherever Mary is.
His big blue eyes can melt anyone.
He loves to ride his bike, and loves to spend days building technical jumps even more.  He is extremely good jumping and doing tricks on his bike, and has no fear.
He has to have a kiss goodnight, but is shy to get a hug out the door in the morning.
He is a very picky eater, but loves scones, instant breakfast, and hot pockets.
He is very, very kind hearted.
He is extremely literal when answering questions.  You can expect a completely honest answer from Sam, no matter the question.  He has no malice, just complete honestly, even when tact may have been nice.  It is normally very funny.
He is very, very good to Luke.  He is an awesome brother and friend to his siblings. 
He and Mary have a special bond and play well together.
He and William could wrestle for hours, if they didn't get hurt so fast.
Playing games or toys with Sam is his love language.
He is a sweet boy, and I love him with all my heart.  I love my Sammy boy!

Happy Birthday!

#5 coming our way

We told the kids on Valentine's Day that we are expecting our last baby to arrive sometime mid September...we are now announcing it to our friends.

Ben and I have known since New Years Day, but have kept the pregnancy to ourselves, because the last 3 months have been a VERY rocky road with this little fetus, and it was just too much to try to explain, and not the right time to spread the news that was changing so often.

  My OB is taking my history of miscarriages seriously, and wanted to monitor this pregnancy closely.  We are so grateful for this decision of hers, it has literally saved this pregnancy so far.

She is a new OB for me, and one that I have struggled with.  I felt very prompted to go to her, and that is the only reason I have stayed.  She has been my doctor for my last 2 miscarriages and did the D& C for the second one.  At first, she just had no emotion at all.  It was straight facts, straight face, and out the door.  I felt forgotten the second I left, and I think I was.  That was a hard thing for what I was going through.

She is extremely good at what she does though, and is very well known for handling high risk pregnancies well.  I know this is why I need her, and as the last 3 months have played out, she has been a HUGE blessing to us.  It is her meticulous testing and knowledge that has caught so many things that were going south. She has even loosened up a little, remembered my name, and may even be a good friend when all is said and done.

 I had several blood tests the first 2 weeks I knew I was pregnant.  
The second blood test I had showed that my HCG was dropping, and scared us.  I didn't have much faith in this pregnancy, and that didn't help.  But the next several tests showed that things were rising again.

I had a 6 week ultrasound where we got to hear a beating heart.  I was in shock, and didn't expect it. 

A beating heart is something I have not heard the last 2 times in a row I have been there, and have experienced seeing 4 times so far in my child bearing years.  It has been really hard for me to have ultrasounds now.   Ultrasounds make me panic.

I had another ultrasound at 8 weeks that really rocked our boat.  It showed that the baby had not grown at all in the past 2 weeks.  My OB tried to give me some hope, that her eyes and voice betrayed, but laid out some very real possibilities that were heart wrenching, and did not look good for the life of our little baby.

We were told to "wait it out" for 2 weeks, and then come back for another ultrasound to see if the baby had survived.  Basically, plan on the worst, and hope for the best.

To say I was an emotional mess those 2 weeks would be an understatement.  It didn't help that I got a phone call the day after the appointment to learn that my progesterone had plummeted.  Low progesterone means miscarriage.

I was put on a double dose of progesterone, in case it wasn't too late,  and told to continue waiting it out to see if the baby had survived that as well.

The progesterone made me really sick, and I hated it, but I knew that if there was a chance it could save my baby, then I would do it.

I got a call the next day saying my vitamin D was down.  So, I started taking that as well.  That supports the growth of the baby.

I went in and out of hope and despair those 2 weeks, worrying about every twinge I felt, every back ache, every cramp, and so on.  It was awful.  I had to wonder if the horrible sickness the progesterone was causing was even necessary, if the baby was not alive.

Finally, 2 weeks passed, and I went in for the ultrasound.  I had a small anxiety attack on the way there, and had to pull over, say a prayer, take some deep breaths, and continue on.

Ben met me there, and we got right in.

The tech found a beating heart right away, and the relief I felt is indescribable.  It was written all over Ben as well.  I felt like I could finally breathe again.  We experienced a miracle for sure.  This baby beat some huge odds going against it.

The baby was alive, and had grown leaps and bounds.  It had caught up to where it should be.  It grew 4 weeks worth of growth, in 2 weeks time. I think I grinned the rest of the day.

I was relieved, but still can't stop the worry about this little bean.  I have experienced enough pregnancy loss and heartache to have learned that things are never "safe" for me and my babies.  No matter the trimester.

My OB is still keeping close tabs, and we will be going to a high risk specialist in Salt Lake the next little while, to have some tests done on the baby. 

I was given to okay to stop the progesterone yesterday.  The placenta has finally taken over the production of that hormone. I hate how the stuff made me feel, but I can't thank God and my OB enough for that little pill.  It truly saved this pregnancy up to this point. I am so glad my OB caught it in time, and scheduled that "one last blood test, just to double check everything."

We are hoping all is well, and praying every day that our baby will continue to live and develop in the way that it needs to.

Throughout this ordeal, and even before this pregnancy, God has let us know time and time again that there is a spirit yearning to join our family, and not to give up.  He has let us know that He is near, and that it is in His hands.  He has given me some very neat experiences to help boost my faith, when the odds seemed so slim this pregnancy, and is helping me to learn that with God, all things are possible.

If all goes well, we should be expecting our last little Maynard bean to join our family around September 13th.

10 weeks.  Baby sucking on his/her hand.  Side view.

valentines day

Valentine's Day was pretty typical this year.  It was a fun holiday with cute valentines, fun gifts, and expressions of love.

The kids all had parties at school, and came home with boxes full of treats.
Mary came up with the idea for her and Sam's Valentine boxes, and I LOVED it, so did the teachers and friends.  It was a hit, and so hilarious.
We blew up pictures of them, cut out the mouth and taped a box behind it.  So funny!

My mom and sister came up later that afternoon, and watched the kids for us, so Ben and I could go on a date.
We tried out a new steak house here called Claim Jumpers, and it was pretty good.
We all had a fun Valentine's Day, and enjoyed the holiday of love.

Friday, February 7, 2014

moms and muffins

Today was Mom's and Muffin's day at Heber Valley Elementary.  I wish I had remembered to take pictures, but I didn't, oops.

Mom's and Muffins is a day where the mom's go to school early with the kids, and they eat muffins and read books in the child's classroom.

We did this last year, and the kids and I were looking forward to it again this time around.

We went to Sam's classroom first, where he read me one of his favorite books.  It was cute to see him in his classroom, with his friends, just doing his thing.  He is kind of quiet at school, but he also has some great friends, and tries hard to learn and takes it seriously.   I was informed by his teacher that he will be moving into an advanced math class soon. 
Sam has a love of learning that is amazing to me.  He is constantly doing math problems and home and asking me to give him words to try to spell.
His teacher, Mrs. DelFrancia, is absolutely adorable, and has tons of energy and a positive attitude.  The kids love her, and the parents do too.  She is a wonderful teacher. 

I walked out of Sam's room knowing that Sam is in great hands, and he is doing well.  That is a good feeling for a mother to have.

Next was Mary's classroom.  As Mary read Stone Soup to Sam and I, I observed Mary's everyday surroundings and classmates.

Mary has blossomed a ton during school this year.  She is no longer quiet and shy, and she is so much more confident.  She has an outstanding teacher, Mr. Lawther, who deserves a lot of the credit.  I have never seen her so animated and happy about a teacher before.  He has done wonders for the entire class. 

Every few seconds some kid was coming over to say hi to Mary, tell her a joke, show her something, or show off (mostly boys on this one).  It was fun to see Mary laugh at the jokes, applaud the tricks, tease back, or say a friendly hello.  I also learned that Mary has become the class veterinarian.  All of the kid were bringing their stuffed animals, they brought from home, over to her, and having her patch up holes, tape up tears, and cut of loose strings.  It was hilarious.

I walked out of her classroom, telling her to make sure to only be silly and talk during the appropriate times, (something I never in a million years would think I would be telling Mary), and smiling with the happy heart of a mother who knows her daughter is doing fine and is thriving in a place where she used to cry and call to come home.

Heber Valley is a wonderful school, and I am so grateful for the gift the teachers and kids there have given my kids.  

"Dad's and Donuts" is next week, and I am excited for Ben to be able to go into their "element" as well, and see what it's all about.

rsv returns

Right now, at this very moment, Luke was supposed to be over at Primary Children's getting his second set of tubes put in, and his adenoids removed.  We have been looking forward to this small surgery, because of the huge benefit he will have to hear better once all is said and done. 

Instead, Luke is here with me, at home, doing this.
He loves the "crow pillow" and will sleep on nothing else.

 And getting 6 treatments a day with this.
Luke has RSV, and a bad case of it.

Luckily, he does not have to be on oxygen.  I am so grateful for that, and I am sure Luke is too.  He does not have pneumonia, and our pediatrician said that his bigger lung lobes are looking clear so far.

His lower lobes in his lungs are full of infection and junk though, and his throat is pretty bad too.  He has a nasty sounding cough, and he also had a fever of 102 when I took him in.

Poor little guy!  I feel so bad for my sweet baby.

He hates the nebulizer treatments, and screams the whole time. Ben and I are hoping that sometime really soon, he will realize that it won't hurt him, and maybe get used to them.  We will be doing them 6 times a day for approx. 2 weeks, so we are keeping our fingers crossed.

Luke had RSV last year, and it freaked me out a lot worse that time than this one does.  He was also worse last time though, and it turned into pneumonia and also landed him in the hospital with a plugged lung which began to collapse.  I think we caught it early enough this time around, and hopefully, with the treatments, we can clear it up, and get our happy little Lukey back soon.