haunted half 2017

About three weeks after the St. George Marathon was the Haunted Half-Provo.  I had previously registered to run it with Chelsea Riddle (my marathon running buddy), Becky Phillips and Shauna Goates.

I had taken quite a break from running, in order to heal up after the marathon, so I was a little nervous about being able to race 13.2 miles.

The Haunted Half ended up being a blast!  We all just took it easy.  We didn't worry about time, we didn't listen to music, we didn't stress at all.  We just ran, talked and had a good time.  It was perfect for a post marathon race.

The distance was just the right amount as well.  It definitely pushed me, but it didn't kill me.  When we crossed the finish line, I was completely spent, but felt great!

Again, I had completed a race with no stomach issues, no hip issues, and no IT band issues.  It was so awesome to be able to run two races in a row feeling so great!  It is always really fun to run with friends too.  It was the perfect combination.

It is a costume race, but none of us can handle running with loads of stuff on us, so we all bought Superwoman socks with capes, they were also compression socks.  Win, win!

The course was gorgeous, and the day was sunny, and beautiful.  We ran a trail that followed the Provo river.  We ran past waterfalls, under trees that were bright yellow and red, through parks with flowing streams, and we always had the huge majestic mountains right over us.  It was an amazing course.

rock the socks

freezing our butts off at the starting line...no joke.  It took about 4 miles of running before I could feel my fingers or my toes again.

Shauna Goates, Becky Phillips, yours truly and Chelsea Riddle.  Very fun running crew! 

Haunted Half Provo...you rock!

See you next year for sure!

st george marathon

The St. George marathon was the first Saturday in October.  I was burned out going into the training,  because I had just run a marathon, and it was terrible. There were so many times I was very close to quitting, but I plowed through, put in the miles, and in the end, my last couple long runs (19 and 20 miles) went really well.  I am so glad I stuck it out!

I had to come home earlier than Chelsea (my friend I ran with), so I followed her in my car down to St. George.  We drove straight to the expo. to pick up our packets.

I have run the St. George Marathon once before.  It was the first marathon I ever ran, in 2001.  I had forgotten how incredible the venue is!  The expo was awesome.  There were vendors and booths everywhere...all in the name of running.  It was my kind of paradise!  We picked up our packets, got all sorts of excited for the marathon the next morning, stopped at every booth, and then we headed out, because the expo was closing for the night.  On our way out, we stopped at a booth that was selling compression socks.  I have heard a lot about them, but I have never run in them.  The thought kept on popping into my mind that I should get some, but this time around, I was determined to try NOTHING new at all.  I have made that mistake one too many times.

We left the expo and drove to our hotel, and the entire drive to the hotel the thought in my mind would not leave.  I knew I needed to get the compression socks.  So...once we parked at the hotel, I told Chelsea that I was going to hurry back to the expo, and if it was still open, I was going to buy some compression socks.  She asked me to grab some for her too.  We both knew that it was not likely that the expo would be open.  It was supposed to close 20 minutes prior to the time I decided to drive back.

I zoomed back to the expo, literally ran through the parking lot, and found a door that was not locked yet.  The only booth left, was the booth with the compression socks!  The lady was just packing up her last box.  I asked her if I could buy a pair, and she told that she was already packed up and cashed out for the night.  I ended up pleading with her, and she finally agreed.  I bought the socks, and I felt better....and definitely a little out of my mind.

The next morning, we got up at 3:30am.  Yup, that's a marathon for you.  Busses start loading at 3:30am.  We got ready and as the morning went on, we both got more and more excited!

3:30 am, smiling like we aren't about to go torture our bodies for approx. 4 hours.  Go us!

We spent the next hour at the bus loading zone.  There were so many people, that it took that long to finally get on a bus.  There are approx. 9,000 runners in this marathon.

We got to the starting line with literally 10 minutes to go before the starting gun.  Perfect!  We got on one of the last busses on purpose.  There is nothing worse than spending an hour or more freezing your butt of, waiting to start the marathon.

The starting line was awesome!!!  They had spot lights flashing through the sky, booths set up everywhere, fires all over to get warm, hot chocolate, energy bars, about a million porta-pottys, a live band, and really high energy.  It was amazing!!  The sheer amount of people at the starting line was unbelievable.  It was the most fun I have had at a starting line...ever.

The gun went off, and we didn't actually start running for a few minutes.  We were pretty far back in the line.  It takes a while for 9000 runners to funnel through a starting chute.  I can almost always tell, at the starting line, about how the race is going to go for me.

I knew it was going to be a good one this time.  I could feel it.  I could tell my body was tapered exactly where it needed to be, my legs were fresh, my mind was very positive and excited, my stomach was calm, my hip was not inflamed at all.  I just knew it was going to be a good one.

It is soooo rare for all of the stars to align at a marathon.  Most people have that happen once or twice out of about 10 marathons.  This was my 7th, and I had yet to have everything work out perfectly...as far as my body and my mind.  I knew this one was different though, and I was bursting with excitement and anticipation.

This was Chelsea's first marathon, but she said that she was "feeling it" as well.  We blasted out the first 7 miles with no problems.  I did not have to stop once for the bathroom!  I ALWAYS have stomach issues during long runs, so this was incredible for me.  We were both feeling awesome at that point.  We were crushing our goal time!  We were running 8 minute miles, and a couple were less than that!

We held our pace and kept on chugging for the first half.  The fist half has a HUGE 4 mile hill, and several other hills as well.  It was not easy, but we were both feeling great.  I was following my nutrition plan exactly and drinking my tailwind at the exact miles I needed to.  I thought Chelsea was doing the same.

By the half way point, we were on track to qualify for Boston...with time to spare!  This has always been a huge dream of mine, and I have missed it by 5 minutes...twice.  When we realized this, we were so excited!

The aid stations for this marathon were unbelievable!  I honestly believe that my compression socks and the aid stations are the reason my hip held up so well.  Our first aid station stop was at the half way point.  They had every fruit you can imagine, they had gummy bears, water, Gatorade, popsicles, and...while you were eating or drinking, you could put you leg on this little stool, and these massage therapists with gloves covered in icy hot, would massage your legs!  No joke!

We didn't eat or drink, but I had them massage my IT bands for about 30 seconds each.  It made a world of difference.  Oh, and did I mention that while they were massaging, someone else put a wet, lemon infused towel around your neck...no joke.

After our quick stop at mile 13, we finally had some down hill to look forward to.  We were soo excited to be able to shed even more time off our pace.

We cruised to mile 19.  We stopped for about one minute every two miles to get my legs massaged, and to drink and refuel.

Around mile 19, where I normally hit the wall, I was still feeling great!  I couldn't believe it.  I could not stop grinning.  This was finally going to be the one! 

And then Chelsea got the mother load of all side aches.  She couldn't breathe.  She couldn't run.  She couldn't walk.  She was dry heaving.  She turned gray.  She got dizzy.  She started seeing black spots.  It completely freaked me out!!!  We were not near an aid station, so I couldn't leave her, or get any real help for her.

I felt terrible for her.  I was really worried about her, and I kept thinking that it would ease up for her any minute.

But...the minutes went by.  And then more minutes went by.  As the time went on, I felt my heart sinking slowly in my chest.  After 10 minutes went by, of us not running at all, our dreams of Qualifying for Boston was over.  I had tears burning my eyes, and a flame in my chest that was raging of disappointment, but I wasn't going to leave my friend on the side of the road in a condition like that.

I finally decided to give her one of my salt tablets that I keep for emergencies, typically for severe leg cramping after hitting the wall.  I thought that maybe her side "ache" was actually a side "cramp"

One minute after she ate the tablet, she felt completely fine.  And there it was.  She was gotten behind on her nutrition because she was feeling good (very common mistake I have made a million times myself).  The killer is though, that once you get behind on electrolytes, carbohydrates, or hydration in a marathon, you cannot catch up.  It's game over.  You have to stay one step ahead...which means drinking and taking in nutrients before you feel like you are tanking.

I realized that she was toasted. 

We knew that our Boston goal was lost, but we decided that if we really, really hustled for the last 7 miles, we could maybe break 4 hours.  We took off at almost a sprint.

One mile later, Chelsea got sick again.  I walked her to the next aid station, with tears of frustration streaming down my cheeks.  I made sure she had medical help, and then I took off.  I was still feeling great at this point...just incredibly upset and frustrated...not at Chelsea, I was not mad at her, I was just mad at the whole situation.

By that point, I was not even going to PR.  I would be luck to even get close to my previous times.  I was crushed.  I took off running as fast as I could for the next 3 miles.  I ran so hard, and I knew that I would end up tanking, but I ran hard anyway.  At mile 23 in the race I finally hit the wall.  I forced myself to fun as much as possible to the finish line.  I ended up run/walking miles 24 and 25.  At mile 25, I was hurting everywhere, I was mentally crushed, and I was exhausted.  I promised myself that I would run that last mile, no matter what...and I did.  It literally took every last ounce of whatever I had in me.  I was dizzy at the end and not even able to look up, but I did it.  I crossed the finish line.

I finished in 4 hours and 5 minutes.  My fastest marathon time is 3:57.

If you shave off the 20 minutes I spent helping Chelsea, my time would have been 3:37.  Boston Qualifying time is 3:45.

Basically, without Chelsea getting sick, we would have Qualified for Boston with 8 minutes to spare, and I would have PR'd by 20 minutes!!!

As frustrating as this made me feel, I was elated to know that I am capable to accomplishing this goal that has seemed to impossible to accomplish.  I also realized that I can have a marathon where all of the stars align.  I can run sub 8 minute miles half way through a marathon.  My body can do it!!

I waited for Chelsea at the finish line, and she came in about 20 minutes later...looking like absolute death.  We ended up sitting with her in the medical tent for a while.  She was in bad shape. She continued to be very sick for the next several hours. 

Aside from Chelsea being sick, the finish line was awesome!!!  There was everything you could imagine for the runners.  Pizza, Great Harvest Bread, Creamy Popsicles, massage tents everywhere, any drink you can think of, music, bounce houses.  My favorite thing, by far, was that right as you finish, you walk into a mist tent.  It feels amazing!!!  I wanted to stay there all day, but I was worried about my phone getting too wet.

We hung out at the finish line for a long time.  Chelsea wasn't in any condition to go anywhere, and I was just fine lying on the grass not moving a muscle.

I realized, as I was moaning about my sore muscles, that my legs were not sore from the knee down.  The compression socks had worked wonders!  My hip was screaming, but no more than the rest of my muscles.  I honestly think that the compression socks helped my lower leg muscles so much that they were able to help out when my hip started weakening.  Huge blessing!  I'm so grateful that I listened to the prompting to get the socks.

We finally made our way back to the hotel, where we literally collapsed on the beds and didn't move a muscle.  I finally got up a showered and ordered pizza.  My body was not hungry at all, and then all of the sudden... I was beyond starving!!!

The pizza guy came, I paid him, and I literally ate over half the pizza myself in about 15 minutes.  It was heaven!  Chelsea at half a piece, and got sick.  She was still not doing great.

I had to drive home that day, so I chugged down as much caffeine as I thought my heart could handle and I forced myself to get in the car.  Chelsea drove down with a friend that was taking good care of her, so I knew she would be ok. 

The drive home was hard.  I had to stop every hour to stretch and walk around, because my legs would cramp up so badly that I could hardly push the gas pedal down.  I made it home though, and all was well.

It was interesting to me, that night, and the following days, how incredibly excited and happy I felt about how the marathon went.  I was sad that I didn't have the time to show for it, for it was by far my best marathon to date.  I had so much fun!  It was such a great venue, Chelsea was a blast to run with, my body felt amazing, and I proved to myself that I am capable of reaching my dreams.

I am so grateful that I didn't back out of this marathon.  I loved it!  It was exactly the marathon I have craved to have.

Chelsea and I already have plans to run another one next year.  We are on the wait list for one, and if we don't get in....you better believe we will be right back in St. George next October!

winning vs. victory

Marathon morning arrived bright and early, 3:15am to be exact.  Of course, because of nerves, I fell asleep after midnight.  Not much sleep, but I expected that, and got a great sleep the night before.

I went through my normal running routine, getting all of my stuff together, double checking everything, saying a very heartfelt, grateful, nervous, and anxious prayer, taking my shakeology, and heading out the door.

I got on the bus at the Zermott Resort in Midway, and I was on my way to the starting line.  I sat by a girl that is trying to run one marathon in every state.  She was really nice, and cool.  This was her 21st marathon.  People are so amazing!

I really don't like being at starting lines alone, especially before big races.  It makes me kind of mellow, and my nerves can really get in my head, but this time I tried really hard to talk to people and just enjoy the moment.  We had a LONG wait by several fires.  The smoke was killing my eyes and my lungs, but the warmth was worth it.  Not sure how healthy it is to fill all of our lungs with smoke for 90 minutes before we all ran 26.2 miles, but at least we didn't shiver all of our energy out.  I'm a total pyro anyway, and fire gets me all happy and excited, so for me, it was great. I met some really cool people, and we talked and pumped each other up, and the time flew by. 

The running community is a very cool group of people.  I love runners and their fun energy, good positive attitudes, and their mostly crazy addiction to something that I love as well.  We all really feed off of each other's energy, and it helps a lot.

After quite a long wait, we finally lined up at the starting line. 

I had made a playlist on my phone, just for the marathon.  I had been adding songs on it for months, and I purposely chose an app. that could play offline, since most of our run would be in the mountains, out of wifi range.

I turned on my app, and to my horror, I had not downloaded the playlist!!!  We had no internet connection out in little Walsburg.  I seriously about lost it.  I ended up listening to the same two songs over and over again for the first 6 miles.  They were terrible, explicit rap songs, and I hated them, but if I hear myself breathing hard from running, my brain tells me I am tired, and I slow down.  I had to have music.   I was so incredibly grateful to hear my tunes start working at mile 6.  Hallelujah!

When the starting gun went off, I reminded myself that I was extremely prepared for this marathon.  More prepared mentally and physically than any marathon I have done in the past.  I knew I could PR if everything went smoothly, and it felt like things were going to be pretty good.  I was really excited!

I forced myself to start out at my normal pace.  It is so easy at the beginning of a race, to just take off.  All of the built up energy, caffeine, and tapered legs, makes you just want to blast out of there.  But, I paced myself, and just settled in for a long run and tried to enjoy the gorgeous scenery around me.

The first 7 miles were way more hilly than I expected.  I had to run on the side of the road in order to pass people.  That forced me to run lopsided, with one foot on the road and one foot off the road.  I had no idea that this little thing would be the reason for an epic disaster. IT bands and lopsided hilly roads do not mix.

At mile 7, we turned out of Walsburg and entered into Provo canyon, right into a very big hill.  I expected this hill, and knew it was coming.  I drive this canyon regularly, and the month leading up to the marathon, every time I drove it, I tried to memorize the course, so I would not be surprised by anything.

The hill was a killer, just like I expected, but I paced myself and made my way up it.  I noticed that my hip was acting up, but it wasn't anything that I hadn't felt before, and I knew I would be fine.

I finished that hill, and that's when my stomach went nuts on me!  I was taken by surprise by this, because I trained very hard on my nutrition, in order to avoid the  dreaded "gut bomb." Sure enough, my stomach was a wreck.  I ended up in the lovely Honey Bucket at the mile 8 aid station.

I ended up there again at mile 10.  Again at mile 12.  All three times, I unloaded everything that was in me, or so it seemed.  I kept thinking that surely that would be the end of it, only to have my stomach act up 1/2 mile later.  I quickly realized my mistake.  I had broken the golden rule of running, as far as nutrition.  NEVER do anything different on race day.  My mistake: shakeology that morning.  I normally have it as a recovery drink, but at 3:15 that morning, it seemed to me like the only thing my stomach could handle.  I was dead wrong. 

At mile 12, after I finished "unloading" again, I started running, and I felt the worst pain in the side of my knee that I have ever felt.  I had no idea what was going on.  I was also totally crashing, from a serious lack of nutrients and the beginnings of dehydration.  I panicked, and forced myself to refill my waterbottle with my nutrition supplement (tailwind) that I use, and I drank a ton of it.  I started trying to run again, and the sharp pain in my knee literally made me yell out when I tried to take a step.  I couldn't believe it.  I truly couldn't believe it.  I tried to stretch on the side of the road, and rub it out the best I could, and then I tried to run again.  Again, my knee felt like I was being stabbed right into it.  Each step was excruciating.

I thought that maybe I could just run it off, if I ran through it for a while.  I spent the next mile in horrible pain, and to make matters worse, my stomach acted up again, just a few minutes after I started trying to run.  I could tell things were bad, really bad.  I checked my time, and realized that up to this point, I was right on track to PR and have an amazing marathon time.  If I could just pull myself together, I could hopefully make up for some lost time, but I was really going to have to rally.

At mile 13, I had to go to the bathroom again.  I could not even run normally on my right leg at all.  My knee was screaming!!!  I tried to stretch it out again, and the volunteer medic at the aid station rubbed some icy hot into my knee.  I also forced myself to drink the rest of my water bottle.  I was completely dehydrated, and feeling like crap everywhere.

I texted Ben, and told him things were not good, and that I was struggling.  I then took a minute to try to pull myself together, and I started running.  My first step into my run was so incredibly painful that I immediately yelled out again.  The aid station medic came running and helped me sit down on a chair they had at the station.  He tried again to rub out my knee.  I this point I saw the 4 hour pacer and his group run by.  My PR time is under 4 hours.  I knew that I had lost my chance to PR, and I wasn't even close to being able to catch up in this condition.  My heart completely dropped, and I got really, really upset.  Being dehydrated, and undernourished (from 5 bathroom stops) and running 13 miles, my mind wasn't able to handle it, and I broke down.  I just started crying right there on that little stool at the aid station.  The medic wanted me to get in the car they have to take people down to the finish line, but in my heart I knew I needed to finish the race.

I got up off the stool, took some extremely painful steps back to the road and forced myself to start running the best I could.  I was crying and very upset and in loads of pain.  At that point, Ben drove up, with the kids in the car, and pulled into the middle lane.  I made my way over to him, and he got out of the car.  He just held me for a minute as I cried.  But seeing all of these little blonde haired, blue eyed babies of mine watching me, made me decide once again, that I would finish this race.  I was going to show my children that I can do hard things...we can do hard things.

I gained strength from seeing my family, and I started running once again.  I forced myself to run 25 excruciating, terrible, painful steps, and then I would walk/limp for a while until I could muster up enough courage to start running again.  Then, I would go another 25 steps, and walk again.  Of course, my stomach acted up again as well.

At mile 15, I was in the bathroom again.  Completely weak, drained, and baffled that I had anything left in me to lose at that point.  I got out of the bathroom, drank as much as I could, and started running again.  After those first few steps, I started crying again.  It hurt so badly, and I was so heart broken and devastated!  I had trained harder and smarted than ever before.  I was more than ready for this marathon.  I knew I was capable of crushing it, and here I was, at mile 15, where I should have still been feeling great, but instead, I was crying, dehydrated, limping, and in terrible shape in every way.

I ran/walked/limped my way for another while, where I again saw Ben and the kids.  It helped me so much to see them.  I would go to them, cry to Ben, build up some courage, and tell myself to make it another two miles to the next aid station.

This was by far the hardest mental game I have ever had to play while running.  I trained really hard this time around to be able to be mentally strong enough to continue running if I hit the wall around mile 21-22.  The wall is something that all marathoners dread, and it can shake up even the strongest of runners.  It is where you are completely depleted off all of your glycogen stores, and your body pretty much tells you that you are done.  It also messes with your head and your emotions.  There is a saying that there is the first half of the marathon, and then the last 6 miles.  It is SO true.  I trained and trained and trained to be able to handle those last 5-6 miles of torture.

Little did I know that I would have to use all of those mental games, all of that emotional toughness, and all of that physical pushing, for 12 miles!  It was like running through the wall for almost half a marathon. 

Around mile 23, I was barely hanging in there.  I was profusely sweating, from so much pain and so much distress for so long.  I felt like the running/walking dead.  I literally was worried that I was going to pass out, and it sounded like it would be so wonderful if I did.  I also watched as the 5 hour pacer and his group passed me by.  This was like a punch in the gut!  5 hours!  I had NEVER run a marathon this slow, or even close to it.  I was also still using every single bathroom at every single aid station (which were every two miles through the entire course). I had nothing left but sheer will power, and that was fading fast.

I only had 3 miles left, but it may have been 100 with the condition I was in.  I could see the finish line off in the distance, but it was like a mirage.  I would run a tiny bit, then look up, and it seemed like I was further away than I previously was.  I was in and out of crying, being devastated, dealing with horrible pain in my leg, and then scraping up whatever I had left, deep down inside, to make me keep going.

Pretty soon a 79 year old guy came shuffling past me.  This was his 115th marathon.  Yup 115!
He asked me how I was doing.  I just looked at him.  I was horrified that I was being passed by a 79 year old that was running slower than I normally walk.  He was so sweet to me though.  He offered me words of encouragement, told me to try to just run to the next tree, which was about 100 yards ahead, but may as well have been a mile away.  I tried to, but my leg would not let me.  He then offered me an otter pop, haha!  Where he got it, I have no idea.  I didn't take it, but I thanked him, and told him that I wanted to doing what he is doing when I am 79. He then shuffled past me and on toward the finish line.

Finally, I was at the very last .2 of the race.  This is where I have always kicked it in, and tried to run my hardest for one last push.  It always feels like I am sprinting it in, but I am usually so dead, that it is a slow jog.  Either way, it feels good to kick it in.
This time, I was ready to walk through it, I simply didn't have the energy to care. I was devastated, in loads of pain, frustrated, and tanked out of nutrients and hydration.

But then, out came Mary and William!!  They each took a hand and started running with me/pulling me.  I had nothing left, but they did, and I used it.  They helped me run through the finish line, and even with some sort of a smile on my face.

When I crossed the finish line, they put the medal around my neck.  Usually, this feels so amazing to me.  It is the coolest feeling in the world.  This time, I felt nothing at all.  I actually felt surprised that they gave me a medal.  I did not feel like I earned it at all.  It was a very foreign and weird feeling for me.  I was pretty confused, but almost too tired to care much about anything.

I went straight over to the medical tent and basically begged for painkillers of any kind.  I finally got some Advil, and some ice wrapped around my knee.  Mary was so sweet, and did not leave my side.  Ben tried to keep the other kids occupied while I kind of recovered.  I did not look at the time clock when I ran through the finish line, and I didn't want to.  I knew it would just frustrate me even more.
I was pretty pouty, and ticked off.  I wasn't in the mindset of being positive, proud, or relieved at all.  I was just sad and in a lot of pain and shock.  I was kind of numb.

I really just wanted to go home.  I didn't want to be around everything anymore.  I was just done.

This is not normal for me.  Usually after a marathon, my favorite part is to cheer on other runners coming in, talk to other finishers, congratulate people, and just bask in the awesomeness of it all, and the feeling of accomplishing my goals.

I honestly think I was just in shock physically and mentally.

I went to a few different medical tents getting different treatments on my knee, and then we headed home.

Even though I was very malnourished and dehydrated, I was not hungry at all the rest of the day.  I was just tired in every way.  I took it easy the rest of the day and tried to drink and rehydrate the best I could.

Ben and Brittany Light (my message therapist, and self-appointed running and nutrition coaches) stopped by and brought a sweet gift.  I had texted Brittany throughout the marathon, so she knew what had happened.  It helped to talk to them, vent to them, and have Brittany finally diagnose what had happened to my leg.  It was my IT band.  They are both avid runners.  They do ultra races, like 50 miles, 100 miles, and even 200 milers.  They told me about a few of their races that just went horribly wrong, even though they trained perfectly.  It really made me feel a lot better.

I also talked a lot to Ben, my Ben.  He listened as I talked my way through everything, mentally processing what had happened, over and over again.  He was so good to support me, tell me how amazing it was that I actually finished, and helped me to feel a sense of accomplishment that I hadn't felt when I finished.

I have good people in my life.

It has been two weeks since the marathon.  Now that I am hydrated, getting on top of my injury, and mentally normal, I can see that my IT band freaking out on me, was not any reflection on how well trained I was, and how well I really can run a marathon.  The timing of it was absolutely horrible, but I can't change that, I can only learn from it, and do what I can to prevent it from happening again.

By the time I hung my medal on my marathon wall in the garage, I looked over my other medals, and I was more proud of this one than any of the others.  I pushed deeper than I ever have before, I fought harder than I ever have before, I cried more than I ever have before, I felt pain like I have never felt running before, and I finished.  I basically ran a 13 mile wall.  I am extremely proud of that.  
I can now see that all of the training I did to be mentally and physically strong when the going got tough, was not in vain, in fact, it was the very thing that made it possible for me to finish a race like that, in the condition I was in.

I did nothing at all the week following the marathon.  My leg was in a lot of pain.  I was sore all over, but the rest of my body bounced back very quickly to my surprise and joy.  This week, I have done a lot of biking and elliptical.  I was thrilled to be able to do the elliptical with minimal pain to my IT band.
I now have to incorporate a ton of stretching, foam rolling, and at home physical therapy in order to strengthen my IT bands, and to try to prevent this from happening again.

By again, I mean the St. George marathon in October.  Yup, I am signed up to do this again.  Before this marathon, I was seriously second guessing doing another.  Now, I am so, so, so glad I am.
REDEMPTION!!!

I am going to train the exact same, but also incorporate a lot of IT band exercises and strengthening.  I start training July 17th.  Until then, it is all about getting my leg completely healed, and mentally working through some anxiety and worry that I now have about running.

I had a friend message me something a few days after the race that meant so much to me. I have thought so much about it since then, and it helps me through when I start feeling bad about the marathon.
 She said "there is a  difference between a win and a victory. You can win without a victory and you can be victorious without a win . . While you didn't "win" this race by any traditional sense, you my friend most certainly came out victorious!!!! So proud of you!"

  I may not have won this marathon in my sense and my idea of winning for me, but this was the biggest victory I have ever achieved.

4 days to marathon

So, my marathon is on Saturday.  It is Tuesday night. 4 days. 

This will be my 5th marathon, but in a way it feels like my first, because I have trained so completely differently than I ever have before.  I am also 5 years older and have had 2 babies since my last marathon.

Am I nervous, yes.  Terrified actually!

But, I am ready, and that feels really good.

The last 4 marathons I have done, I have run 6 days a week, built up to the long runs, and run and run and run. That's it.  No other body parts getting worked, just legs. 

This time around, with the help of a friend, Brittany, who happens to be a professional trainer for marathon and ultra marathon runners, my training has been drastically different.  She helped me set up a training plan this time around, and I have loved it.

Monday: 8 miles.  1st and last mile below marathon pace.  6 miles at or slightly above marathon pace. (pretty hard)

Tuesday: cross train. In my case, I push mow our entire line.  The mower is not self propelled.  It is an insane workout for upper and lower body.  I also do abs after mowing the lawn. (moderate)

Wednesday: Intervals.  6 sets of biceps with a 2 minute sprint between each one.  6 sets of triceps, with a 2 minutes sprint in between each one, 6 sets of abs, with a 2 minutes sprint between each set.
This amounts to about 90 minutes of pouring sweat, racing heart, and burning body.  The mileage ends up being about 5 1/2 miles of sprints.  This work out is no joke.  Several times I almost puke during it.  It is my favorite workout though, because I feel like a freaking rock star after completing it. (very hard)

Thursday: elliptical for 70 minutes at level 9 resistance.  Killer for the legs AND arms. (hard)

Friday: rest (easy)

Saturday: long run outside, anywhere from 12-21 miles depending on the week.  Anything under 14 miles has three 15 minute sessions of above tempo.  Killer....for real. (easy-very hard)

Along with this schedule, Brittany, my "coach" who is also a certified sports massage therapist, comes to my house every other Thursday and works on my legs for 60 minutes.

This is by far the most painful and miserable part of training.

She scrapes my muscles with her torture tools, until I have tears streaming down my cheeks.  The pain is unbelievable.  She stretches, scrapes and breaks down every muscle in the legs and glutes.  It is excruciating.  The scraping is the absolute worst. There aren't even words to describe the pain.

BUT

When it is over, and after a day of bruised legs, my legs feel amazing!  They feel soooo good.  I know that this is the reason I have not had an injury during this 12 week training program.  The massaging has helped me so much.  If I didn't realize how much it truly helped me, there is no way on the face of this planet that I would go through this every other week.

Most days, after she works on me, I literally get sick from being in so much pain for so long.  My body kind of shuts down.  I get a horrible headache, and I can't keep my eyes open.  It is exhausting.  I usually end up sleeping in spurts the rest of the afternoon, whenever I can get even the smallest amount of shut eye.  It is crazy.  But it works.

As far as the nutrition side of things, that has been completely different as well.  I have been on a very strict low carb diet for almost 10 months now, and I have kept that diet all through my training.

However, my body does have to have some sort of carb during the super long runs, or anything over 15 miles for me.  If I don't have any sort of carb in me, my muscles cramp up like nobody's business and my mind and will power turn to mush.

Brittany and her husband Ben (who is an ultra runner....like 200 mile race ultra runner), introduced me to a drink powder called Tailwind.  It has the exact number of carbs and calories in it that the body can burn while working out in 1 hour.  Any more than that, and you get stomach cramps, any less and you crash.

I drink a tailwind every hour during my long runs, and it has been wonderful!!!  No more gut bombs, no more cramping, and lots more physical and mental energy and power.  It has saved me, absolutely saved me.  I don't need anything else with it either, which is a huge bonus for me, because a lot of the other stuff has always made me so sick.

I have had to eat more carbs the day following my long runs, which I struggle with still.  My body just screams and screams for them, and I know I should refill my stores.

It is a really hard juggle lately though, with so many long runs, and so many carb cycles.

It sucks to GAIN 5 pounds when training for a marathon, but I guess it is a great thing, and is a sign of proper training and nutrition if you gain weight the month before the marathon.  At least that is what I am told. I will keep telling myself that over and over and over again.  Ugh.

So here I am tonight.  A week and a half ago, I completed my last long run.  It was 21 miles.  Brittany is coming over tomorrow for a "light" massage session.  She promised me that this one will be lighter so I am not bruised on the big day.

The main focus now is trying to keep my thoughts positive and my emotions rested as well as my muscles.  New concept for me, but makes sense.  My brain and emotions need to be in top shape to make it through those last 6 miles.

I have a 2 mile run Friday morning, go pick up my race packet Friday evening,  and then BAM, it's here.

Holy crap.

Breathe, just breath.

the dam train race

About a month ago, Karli texted me and asked me if I wanted to sign up for a race here in Heber.  The race was that weekend.  ha!

I said sure, and signed up. 

It was called The Dam Train Race.

We would ride the Heber Creeper up to the starting line in Midway, and run back to the train station.  The goal was to try to beat the train on the way back.

It sounded really fun!  The distance was a 12K, which I had never heard of.  It is a little over 8 miles.

The morning of the race, Karli got really sick, so I ended up doing it alone.  I was really bummed about going alone, and almost didn't do it, but I LOVE fall running, and I knew this course would be gorgeous, so I did it.

I am so glad I did!!!

I have never, ever done a more scenic, gorgeous, breathtaking run in my life, up to this point.  Just sitting at the starting line, watching the sun rise, was unbelievable!

The pictures don't even come close to doing it justice.

I sat by a girl on the train that was really nice, and we became friends pretty quickly.  I lost her once the race started though.

The course was very, very hard!  I had no idea.  It was a trail run, and it was almost all uphill.  Steep uphill!  I decided early on to just take my time and enjoy it...so I did.

The course ran past the Deer Creek Reservoir, and the view of that was gorgeous, with the snow capped mountains behind it, and the fall colored trees surrounding me.  It may as well have been straight out of a fairy tail. 

It was a great run, hard, but worth it.

I stopped a few times to take pictures, and ended up not beating the train because of it...darn.  :)

At the finish line, Ben called me and told me they were almost there!  What a sweet surprise!  It was so great to be with my family at the finish line, and to not be alone.  It was the icing on the cake for sure!

I am so glad I did the race, and I will absolutely be signing up again next year....with Karli!

I love where I live!

cedar city sheningans

This weekend, I went on my very first girls weekend since I have been married.

I went to Time Out For Women several years ago, but that was just 1 night, and it was in town.

This was a three day, three night, 5 friends, half marathon, hiking, swimming, Cedar City, Saint George, Las Vegas, girls weekend...and it was fun, extremely fun!!!

I went with my best friend and next door neighbor Karli Sweat, another great friend Julianne Michaels, a friend from the ward Jen Avery, and a girl I didn't know until this trip, Nicole Davis. 

I take that back, I actually met Nicole once.  She was the ER nurse that treated Ben last year when he was in the ER after a bike crash.

All of them are nurses in the ER here in Heber, and all of them are crazy, hilarious, fun, and a blast to be with. Oh the stories...

left to right:  Nicole, Julianne, Jen, Karli, me

We drove to Saint George Thursday night, where we stayed in Jen's parents vacation home.  We talked the entire way there, and I think we pretty much had the world's problems, and our own problems solved in that three hour drive. ha!! 
I also heard all sorts of crazy ER stories.We got there really late, so we pretty much just got there and crashed.

We woke up Friday morning and walked to a grocery store for breakfast and got food for the day.  Then we headed off to a lake.   

It was hilarious as we tried to smash in a huge paddle board, three blow up tubes, 5 women and a cooler into one vehicle.  I was literally hanging onto a tube on top of the car, while holding the paddle board in the car.  There wasn't enough room in the car for my whole body, so I was hanging out of it for a little while.  Everyone else was just as squished.  Luckily, it was less than a mile from the rental shop to the lake.  I am sure everyone heard us laughing and screaming the entire drive down to the lake.

that would be my head smashed between the window and the paddle board.

We rented some blow up tubes and a paddle board, and just hung out on the lake for hours, relaxing, talking, laughing our heads off, and enjoying some time to just chill. After the lake, we headed out to dinner, and then back to the house.

We bought a ridiculous amount of chocolate and treats, pulled out some games, and laughed our heads off until it was way past bedtime.  I seriously love these ladies so much.

We woke up at 3:30am, and got ready for the half marathon that morning.  Let me repeat:  3:30 a freaking m.

Yeah, waaaay too early. 

It was a necessary evil though.  We had to be at the bus line up at 5:30, and the marathon was about 2 hours away.

Rewind a little bit.  When we first arrived in Saint George, Julianne gave us all these really cool tank tops and bracelets that say "IGU" on them.
They represent a brand her brother in law in New York started.  IGU means I Got U.
This is what it means.

We all put on our bracelets and cried for a while.  Some of my friends that were there are going through some terrible situations right now.  We have all been trying to help get them through this for the past 6 months or so.  These hard times are what have bonded us all so closely together.  We have cried together, leaned on each other for support when giving up seemed the only other alternative, we have prayed for, fasted for, and done whatever is necessary to keep each other afloat. It was a very meaningful and special moment for all of us that morning.  Tears were shed, hearts were knitted even more together, and support was once again reinforced.

So, back to race day.  We all put on our IGU tanks, and headed out the door.

The Cedar City Half Marathon is supposed to be one of the fastest ones out there.  I have trained really well for it, and was excited to see what I could do.  We were all pretty excited...tired...but excited.

Lucky for us, the bus driver that drove us up to the starting line, let us stay on the warm bus as long as possible before we had to get out at the starting line.  It was 38 degrees up there, so the warm bus was a huge luxury!

We waited forever in line for a bathroom, and then walked up to the starting line.

we went to the DI the night before and bought sweaters that we could throw away on the course soon after starting the race.  I actually kind of liked mine, but it is gone...long gone.

Unfortunately, Julianne is dealing with some serious foot problems, so she couldn't run the race with us.  She is a great runner, and has several half and full marathons behind her, but she had to sit this one out. We really missed her.

We had all decided to run our own pace, and meet up at the finish line.  That way there was no pressure to run faster or slower than we naturally run.

I was feeling a little bit funny in my stomach when the race started, but I figured it was probably just the zipfizz I had just chugged and blew it off. I was excited and ready to roll.

I blasted out of the start, and was hauling down the mountain for the first 6 miles.  I was running a 7:30 minute mile, and super excited.  If I kept up that pace, I would for sure PR, and probably get a big PR.  The downhill was kind of a shock to my quads, but it was so fun to run fast that easily.

The course was stunning!  It was gorgeous!  I made sure to look around and enjoy what was around me.

Around mile 6, my stomach went completely psycho.  It was the ultimate gut bomb. It swelled up to the point where my shirt and pants got tight, and it started cramping like crazy!  I couldn't believe the pain to be honest.  It literally took my breath away, and brought me to a screeching halt.

Luckily, mile 6 had an aid station with a bathroom.  I figured I would just go to the bathroom, drink some water, and be well on my way.

I unleashed the demons in the bathroom.  Not kidding!  It was unbelievable!  (sorry so graphic)

I got out of the bathroom, not feeling any better, and tried to start running again. 

I ran the next two miles in pure agony.  I could hear all sorts of crap sloshing around in my stomach, and the cramping was horrific.  By this time it wasn't just my stomach.  I had double side aches, and back spasms going on as well. I looked down, and seriously looked like I was 4 months pregnant.  What the?!?!   I began to wonder if the ghost of my uterus was coming back to haunt me, with a vengeance!

At mile 8, I found another bathroom, and lost everything inside of me, and then some.  I saw Karli running by at that point.  She stopped to help me, told me I looked green and freaky, and then I sent her on her way.  I caught up to her a mile later, we ran a mile together, and then I stopped again at the next bathroom to unleash the demons yet again.

Karli kept running, and I soon found her the next mile up.  Worst game of leapfrog ever!

I was so dehydrated by this point that I was dizzy and cramping everywhere from lack of hydration. 
I found Karli at the next aid station, where we decided to stick together from there on out.  I think I may have scared her. Pretty sure I looked amazing by this point.
Karli has a bad knee, and she was in loads of pain.  I was pretty much being ripped from the inside out, so we looked at each, said, "I Got You" and started running, limping, and shuffling our way onward.

We kept each other going to the finish line.  We stopped when we needed to, walked when we needed to, and tried to run as much as we could.  I never would have finished that race without her.

We crossed the finish line together, where she stopped to get her medal, and I continued running right past the medal people, straight to the bathrooms.  Go me.

Thank you friends for making me take this lovely picture.  Sad, but true statement right there.

I know it sounds crazy, but even with being so sick, this was my favorite half marathon to date.  It was so fitting that Karli and I ended up fighting it out and helping each other endure and finish something hard.  That has been the story for us for a while now.  The scenery was gorgeous, the course was perfect and fast, and I was in great company.


Jen's IGU tank was too big, but she did have one.

After the race, while we were stretching, and I was still rolling around in agony, we discovered that Karli's energy chews she had kept in her bra had melted all over her, and Nicole had run the entire race with her pants inside out.

We burst into fits of laughter, which resulted in me running to the bathroom again.  Oh man, good times...good. times.

As soon as I could take more than a 10 minute break from the bathroom, we got in the car and headed back to Saint George to get Julianne.

Come to find out, she woke up feeling great, and did a 2 hour run while we were gone!!  Seriously!  She is still getting a lot of crap (all in good fun) for that one. 

We showered, some of us ate (definitely not me and pyscho stomach), slapped on our swim suits, and headed to a waterpark in Vegas.

The waterpark was a blast.  I pretty much just floated around the lazy river, waiting for my stomach to stop eating itself.

We did a couple crazy slides, and screamed and laughed.  We forced Julianne to go down an incredibly steep slide, (she is scared of heights) which took forever, because she just sat up there swearing for 5 minutes at the top of the slide, while we laughed our heads off and encouraged her to go for it.

After the waterpark, we headed down the strip to do some shopping and grab dinner.  Again, good times, good company, crazy moments, and psycho stomach doing it's thing.

Cheesecake Factory

We didn't get home until 1:00 that morning.  Needless to say, we were TIRED!!

The next morning we got up, ate, cleaned the house we were staying in, packed our backs, and headed to Kaneraville to do a hike.

This was hands down the most beautiful hike I have ever done.  The pictures don't even come close to doing it justice.  It was stunning.  I can't wait to take my family there.

Yes, I am standing in water with my shoes AND socks on.  I never, ever thought I would see the day, but I did it.  The whole hike is in water, and it is soooooo worth it.

After the hike, we grabbed some lunch at Café Rio, and then made the drive home.

It was a wonderful weekend, full of fun, laughter, bonding, healing, crying, recharging, and everything in between.

I am blessed.

ready....or not

Yesterday, during physical therapy, I was FINALLY given the ok, to do a very small, slow run.  Jon, my physical therapist, told me that I could run slow for 5 minutes, then stretch for a minute or two, then go for another 5 minutes.

He told me I could do this for about 20-30 minutes total...as long as there was no stabbing pain.

Minor ache or pain would be normal, but no stabbing pain.  Stabbing pain means, get of the treadmill.

At this point, any kind of running will do for me.  I was ecstatic!

I grabbed my running shoes this morning, and as I was getting ready to put them on, I realized that I was actually going to run again!

Then, I got a little nervous.

Then, I thought about my leg, and all of the what ifs?

Then, I kind of panicked!

I had to remind myself that I was actually going to be able to run, and it was ok.  Even a teeny tiny run would be wonderful.

I got to the gym, got on the treadmill, freaked out a little bit again, stretched, and then started a very slow run.

I immediately felt some weird tugging, but Jon told me to expect that.  I ran for 5 minutes, then stopped and stretched...just like a good, obedient physical therapy patient.  It was REALLY hard to stop.  I was in heaven!

I ran another 5 minutes and started to feel some deep aching, but not stabbing pain.  I got worried, but so far so good.

I stopped and stretched again.

I ran another 5 minutes and the aching started getting a little more severe, so I stretched again, and started back up slower than before.

And then the stabbing pain finally hit.
I slammed my hand on the stop button in complete frustration,  and got off the treadmill.

I was so, so, so tempted to run through the pain, but I had strict orders to stop at any sign of stabbing pain, so I did.

I did everything I was supposed to do, I have worked so hard in physical therapy this past month, and I have forced myself to give my leg time to heal.

The aching leg I have felt all day today has also led to an aching heart.

I am extremely discouraged and upset.

I was really hoping for a pain free, small, easy run. A sign that things are moving forward.

Looks like I am not quite ready.

Boo.

the shoes

I love to run.  Yes, that would pretty much be the understatement of the year.

 

The only thing is, every. single. time. I have to take a break from running for whatever reason (giving birth, illness, leg pains, surgery), I have a terrible time getting back in to it.

 

It is not hard for me to want to run again, my body just completely freaks out, and without fail, some muscle or bone decides to give me crap!

 

This time around, my post surgery getting back in to running pain is...

 

SHIN SPLINTS!!

 

I am going on 4 weeks now of stabbing pains digging into my legs every time I step down, much less run.

 

It is been such a joy in my life.

 

I decided to back off running (which I loathe, and do some classes and some spinning instead).  That didn't help, so I went on to the next step.  New shoes!

 

I went to the shoe store yesterday, and lo and behold, I saw these beauties!

 

Actually, they are not really beauties.  In fact, I don't like the look of them at all.  They are boring black and white.  I added the hot pink shoe laces to make my eyes happier.

 I am just so loyal to Saucony, regardless of the fact that they have yet to make a cute running shoe, that I will buy no other brand.

 

Saucony fits my feet and my running style perfectly, regardless of how they look.

 

These babies are not only my favorite brand, and full of support and cushion, but they now have microfiber in them!!!!!

orange stuff= heaven

 

I am so excited!

 

I ran in them today, with almost no pain at all in my shins.  I grinned the entire 6 miles.

 

Welcome my lovelies.

 

 

 

 

haunted half slc

 

This past Saturday was the Haunted Half in Salt Lake City.  I wasn't sure what to expect, but I really was excited to finally put all of my running this summer and fall to the test.

 

I signed up with a great group of friends that I have been doing some long runs with.  They are absolutely hilarious and so much fun to be around.

 

We had to leave Heber at 5:45 in the morning, drive to Salt Lake, and then take a bus to the starting line up Immigration Canyon.

 

Julianne picked us all up at my house and drove us there.  From the second I got my sleepy self into her car, it was all high energy and laughing the whole drive there.  It was great.

 

Karli bought us all matching batman socks...complete with capes that flew on the back!  They were awesome!

 

It was a costume run, but honestly there isn't a whole lot of "costume" that would be comfortable for 13.2 miles, so the socks were perfect.

 

 

 

We froze our bums off at the starting line for an hour, but we kept eachother warm with our stylin' foil blankets and lots of talking and laughing.

 

because 10 selfies just isn't enough, thank you Julianne.

 

 

Karli was not too thrilled about this race, because she didn't feel ready for it, and she almost had the other girls talked in to going out to breakfast instead!  They basically came to the conclusion that we got cute shirts, and really awesome SWAG, so it was time to leave. 

I had to threaten them with being drug behind me with a rope for 13 miles if they even tried to leave.  Eventually, the came around.  :)

 

 

I choked down a banana and a zip fizz about 15 minutes before start time, and of course, Julianne had to get a picture of that too. 

frozen Becky, eating a banana...lovely.

When the race finally started, Karli and I took off, but soon realized that we were not with the others.  We glanced back and Julianne and Jen were still at the starting line taking selfies and talking!!!  Crazy ladies.  We waited another few minutes for them to finish getting their pictures and getting ready and we finally took off...well after everyone else.  Geesh!

 

Unfortunately, we all run at a different pace, so around mile 4, I broke off from the group with Julianne.  And then my stomach did its typical freak out at mile 5 thing, and I had to wait in line at the bathroom.

 

I didn't see anyone else from the group after that, until the finish line.

 

I felt great during the run, aside from 3 bathroom stops, and literally gagging on some Goo at mile 9.  The course was the best I have ever run, with a gradual downhill the whole way, and a couple rolling hills, but nothing too steep.  It was definitely hard, and I did hit the wall around mile 10, but it was soooooo nice to be at mile 10 and know that I only had 3 miles left.

 

Typically, when I am at mile 10, I still have 16 miles to go, and it can be so discouraging.  Seriously, half marathons are the way to go.  Full marathons are killers!

 

I made it through the finish line and got the cutest medal ever!

yup, it opens up!  How cool is that!  I have to get it back from Luke and William every day, because they steal it and hide it in weird places. 

 

I also met up with two other friends, who ran the 5K course.  Pretty soon everyone else trickled in, and yes, we got more pictures.



the half marathon group...Jen Avery, Karli Sweat, Julianne and me

 

 

We had to blast home pretty quickly, because we all had soccer games to get to.  Julianne drove like an absolute psycho, and had Karli dry heaving in her foil blanket, but hey, we all made it to the soccer games on time!

I LOVED this Haunted Half!  It is definitely one we all want to do again.  Even Karly who said every nasty word under the sun for an entire 13.2 miles, agreed to do it again....in a year. 

Lucky for me, I am doing it again.  In 4 days.  Same venue, different course.  This time I will be alone though.  Yikes!

Wish me luck.