My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Thursday, May 23, 2013

what's up doc?

Oh yes, that is the question indeed.

I just got back from the doctor again.  My second set of blood work is back.

Thyroid, all three tests for it:  Normal
Lupus:  negative
Other hormones, aside from estrogen: normal range

This was good news, and calmed my heart a little, but they also didn't answer the big question.  Why is my estrogen so low!

I guess that a "kind of low" estrogen number is around 40.  Mine is 20.  Yup...a big fat 20.
That is the range where they diagnose it as ovarian failure.  So, as of right now, that is my diagnosis.

Oh, and guess what else.  It is not being caused by pre mature menopause!  I am over the moon about this.  Apparently, low estrogen is the cause and reason for menopause, but menopause isn't always the reason for low estrogen.  Think on that for about an hour, and get back to me.  hehehe

My body is showing a lot of symptoms and signs of low estrogen, because it is low.  Those can be the same symptoms as menopause, and can be easily confused. 

So, back to the original question.  The cause.
The doctor did an ultrasound and found quite a few cysts on one side.  He is now thinking along the lines of poly cystic ovarian syndrome. ( PCOS)  That could answer a lot of questions, and explain the pain.  He is also thinking possible endometriosis.

Either way, we will know nothing until the third set of blood tests come back.  Those will tell my true estrogen count, and show if it is consistently low.

If the number has dropped, I will for sure be completely infertile, even with medical help, and we will be back to square one on what the heck is happening.

If the number is the same, or still in the low range, I have a small chance of having more children...with some medical help, and we will continue looking into the cause.

If the number is normal...we will all be very confused and probably do more tests to check consistency.

So there it is. 
I have more hope.  I still worry about my body and what is going on, I am still dealing with a lot of nasty symptoms, and I pray every night for God's will to happen as far as fertility, but at least we are checking things off the list, one thing at a time.

and then there are the moments...

when my heart turns to butter and I am so proud.

Good job Sammy boy.  This makes me more proud than any other award out there.

celebrating luke

Luke's first Birthday was yesterday.  I love my kids' Birthdays, because I love any reason to celebrate them and give them some extra attention. 

We kept the day simple, maybe too simple....oops.  The older 3 were disappointed that they didn't wake up to decorations.  I ended up going to the store that morning and buying some balloons to decorate with.

The house was properly decorated when they came home from school.  :)

I think Luke knew the day was special and that he was special.  He was his normal cute self all day.  I watched the clock throughout the day and remembered the events of his birth as they unfolded one year ago.  Such a special time.

I am no triple P mom (perfect pinterest party mom), but I can guarantee that these fun caterpillar cupcakes tasted just as good as any other, and my kids enjoyed them all the same.  In fact, I didn't even look at Pinterest for Birthday ideas.  Go me.  I love that website, but sometimes, I just need a break from attempting perfection and to just enjoy the moment.

Luke loved his first taste of cupcake as well.  After a few tentative nibbles, he grabbed the cupcake with both hands and shoveled it in.  Thatta boy!

Poor William was so sure that it was his Birthday all day. I have told him all week that it would be Luke's Birthday, but it just didn't sink in.  I let him eat cupcakes and gave him lots of love and attention, hoping to alleviate feelings of jealousy in him, but the poor guy still had a rough day.

He ended up opening up Luke's presents for him, immediately became territorial over them, and then he later took them up to his bed and slept with them.  Luke doesn't even know he got a toy phone for his Birthday yet.  Oh William. 

Good thing his Birthday is in a few weeks.  Too bad we share the day. He is going to be ultimately confused. "No William, it's Luke's Birthday.  OK, now it's yours, but it's also mine."    Nope...not going to work in that 2 year old head of his.  I think I will just pick a new day for my Birthday for the next few years.

Luke had is well baby check up today.  He is still our little guy, especially in height, but he is healthy, happy and as sweet as ever.  13% for height   40% for weight.

Tidbits about our little tidbit:
Walking since around 10 months.
Says momma and ba (bottle)
waves bye bye
drinking whole milk more formula!!!!
Loves water, especially bath time.
Likes music.
Hates the car.
Really hates diaper changes.
Gives great kisses.
Sweet nature.
Chirps and chatters all day long.
Takes one long nap a day.
Enjoys being outside and playing with his siblings.
Has 4.5 teeth.
Favorite food:  rits crackers and milk

Monday, May 20, 2013

satan knows

I have come to the conclusion that Satan knows me well, too well.

He knows exactly what to do to me in order to make my life extremely hard.

Here is his formula as of late...

Send me through pre mature ovarian failure, which results in  menopause.  There is no fix for this.  This is it, the real deal.  Oh, and did I mention that anyone who goes through menopause before age 45 has a "heightened reaction to the symptoms,"' Yup, all 500 million of them.

Take my phone away from me during a weekend I needed it the most, to talk to people and try to deal with this with those I love and trust.  Thank you Luke for giving it a nice long soak in the toilet for a few hours.

Scare the crap out of me with the unknown about why my body is doing this, and make me wait for weeks to get answers..all of which are scary.  Still waiting, one more blood test to go.

Make my kids decide to be extra loud, extra cranky and extra messy.  Or maybe it's my "irritability symptom," imagining it all.

Pile on the laundry and dishes that never end.

Take all of my energy and throw it out the window.  I mean, what mother of 4 young children needs energy anyway. 

Oh, and lets add a little bit of family drama on top of it all. Oh yeah.  Awesome.

So there you have it folks.  

Chocolate chip cookie dough /(triple the dough) milkshake anyone?

Sunday, May 19, 2013

These are the moments

when I think maybe I should just sleep in the guest bed. 

Friday, May 17, 2013

curve ball

Life is interesting.   I love the quote that says, "the only constant in life is change."  So true.  You would think that in my 30 ....almost 31 years here on earth, I wouldn't be shocked by things anymore.  Just when I get to that point, in comes a curve ball.

This curve ball is a big one, but as with everything else, faith, prayers and a lot of hope will pull us through.

As mentioned in an earlier post, my body has been going nuts lately.  I went in to a doctor on Friday, where they did some blood work.

The nurse called me Tuesday and informed me that my estrogen levels are extremely low.  She left it at that.  Yeah...nice.

So, I called almost 8 doctors to try to schedule an appointment for a second opinion.  It was interesting to me how I would call a doctor, set and appointment, and then not feel good about it.  I ended up making and breaking numerous appointments.

Finally, I stumbled across a doctor, and something in my heart told me that I needed to see him.  I called to set up the appointment, and he was booked solid for the next 2 months.  While I was on the phone, someone called into their office and cancelled their appointment for the next day.  Amazing!
So, I went to see this doctor yesterday morning.

From my last post about a week ago, up until today, my symptoms have only gotten worse and more weird.  I have felt and known in my heart that something is really not right.

This particular doctor was fantastic!  The minute he walked in the room, I felt calm and knew that I was in the right hands.

He went over my blood work and confirmed that my estrogen was really low.  He also confirmed that my ovaries are failing. 

The term is pre-mature menopause.  And it is the real deal.  He did a physical exam, and it only confirmed everything.

I am going through menopause, about 20 years too early.  Yes, this means that our last child we had planned on bringing into our family pretty soon here, is not going happen.  My odds are slim to none, even with some crazy expensive hormone treatments. 

Aside from that, there is the big question...what is causing this.  My blood work also showed signs of something else happening to me.

The doctor was vague, in order not to scare me, but he was forward enough to tell me that a lot of the causes for this ovary failure are not good.  Really not good.  Bad enough that he told me I may need to bring Ben to the next appointment so we can "sit down and have a talk."

I had more blood work done yesterday, and in a few weeks, they will be doing more.

Best case scenario, my first thyroid test was wrong (they are doing another more detailed one), and it really is my thyroid causing all of this.  Nothing will fix the menopause/ovary failure...that is permanent, but at least the cause would be something that can be fixed easily.  It would really stink to have a thyroid issue, but at least I can take a pill for a faulty thyroid and be done with it.

Another best case...mother nature just went against me.  It is VERY rare for someone my age, who is healthy and active,  to just all of the sudden have their ovaries fail them though.  This is really not very likely, but I am hoping for this.

Worst case...  For some reason, the blood tests show that my antibodies are attacking my body....or so the doctor thinks at this point.  That could be related a bunch of scary things that I am trying not to freak out over yet, but should also be preparing myself for.

In the main time, the are doing a lot of blood tests to try to figure out what is going on and why my ovaries are shutting down.

Needless to say, I have had a lot to take in that past 24 hours.  It hasn't been easy.  It's been a rough day and may be rough for a while.

 With the kids needing constant attention, a house to keep up, my new job to do, and all of the other stuff my life entails, I haven't really had a chance to deal with it yet.  I am kind of numb at the moment.

At some point I need to deal with the fact that we may not be able to bring that precious spirit that has so urgently been begging me to bring it here, down to earth in the way we had planned.  However, I do believe in miracles.

I need to prepare myself for the worst case scenario, but hope for the best.

I need to cherish and love my husband and the 4 beautiful children that I have and count my blessings.

I need to deal with the hair loss, extreme fatigue, weight gain and loss, mood swings, hot flashes, heart palpation's, aches and pains, and wacky Aunt Flows for, what could be months to come, as my ovaries continue to shut down.

Most of all,  I need a quiet moment to plead with my father above to be by my side and help me climb this new mountain, come what may.

What a curve ball we have here. 
I can do hard things.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

this is what happens

When you slide down a railing that goes past 35 stairs, in your work pants, at work.
Oh yes, a hole burned into your pants, and a nice burn on your bum too.  :)
Once a kid, always a kid at heart.

just in case

the "bones" post was hard to believe.  Let me indulge you in today's "find."
Mary came running home from school, and pulled these beauties, a.k.a. dead moles or something, out of her backpack.  They aren't rats or mice, but still...
She was so proud of them, I however, was trying really hard not to run away screaming.

A few minutes later, Mary was commenting on how it was so neat to pet them on the bus, because they were so fuzzy.

Um...Ok.  Two things.

#1.  She was petting these dead creatures.
#2.  She had them on the bus.

I thought she found them on the walk home. Nope, she found them on the walk TO school, put them in her backpack, petted them all the way to school, hid them at the school, picked them back up when school was over, put them in her backpack, and here they are.  She wants to put them in our backyard so she can watch them decompose and then mount their skeletons on paper.  She thinks it is "scientific,"  I think it is insane.  But what do I know.

My, oh my.  I think we need to have a little chat about dead animal diseases, what to take on the bus, and how to properly wash our hands...for like an hour.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

it must be exhausting

running up and down the isles, wearing no shoes, climbing on and off the cart, sneaking doughnuts, hiding from mom behind the toilet paper and paper towels, throwing random stuff into and out of the cart, and getting lost...twice.
sound asleep on the cereal
Looks like I'm not the only one who crashes after grocery shopping.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Monday, May 13, 2013

spring soccer

Sam just finished up spring soccer here in Heber.

I was so proud of him this year.  He got in to the game a lot more.  He is definitely a defensive player, and naturally leans that way.  He likes to hang back and defend the goal, or kick the ball out of there when it gets too close.

All of his games were 3 on 3, and I really liked that.  It gave all of the kids a great opportunity to actually play and kick the ball.  It really boosted Sam's confidence and made him feel like he could really get in there and play the sport.

He is incredibly fast, and he finally learned to use his speed to help him in the sport.

The season seemed short to us, and most of the games were spent bundled in down blankets and coats, but nothing beats soccer.  It is an amazing sport!

Sam looks forward to playing in the fall, and we look forward to watching him.

Go Sam Go!



Last week Sam came blasting through the door screaming louder than a siren.  According to him, he was running so fast that his friends could only see a blur.  He then ran into a dip in the road, and as a result, both of his knees were a bloody mess.

I picked him up, put him on the counter, and got a napkin wet and ready to clean up the mess.

As soon as I placed the napkin on his knee, he hollered, "Wait mom, stop!  Don't clean the blood! I have to go show my friends!"

And with that, he hopped off the counter, hobbled out the door, and shuffled his way to the awaiting, admiring crowd.


 And then there's William.  My sweet hearted, curious, rough and tumble, ultimate boy of all little boys.  While wrestling with Sam on the trampoline, he somehow flew right out of the one spot where the net wasn't protecting him....the zipper doorway.  He landed face first on the rocks.  This was a pretty bad one.
Can't forget Luke.  Walking at 10 1/2 months and trying his best to participate in the wrestling and fun.  His biggest adventure so far, was facing his fear and finally going in the swing.  He loved it, I knew he would! Oh, sweet Luke.
And if I ever wonder where my children get this amazing, adventurous, higher, faster, further trait, I just need to look at this, and there's no question.
I love my boys, even if I will never have fingernails again.

a hairy situation

About 4 months ago, I noticed that my body was seeming a little out of sorts.  For starters, my hair was falling out.  I am not talking the usual, hair all over the place because I'm a girl with long hair, kind of hair loss.  This was "handfuls of hair coming out" kind of hair loss.  At any given moment, I could gently brush my hand through my hair, and come away with a handful of hair.  It has freaked me out.

Also, my hair, that has ALWAYS been straight as a board, is now extremely curly.  Like, borderline ringlet curly when it is wet.  Yeah, I know...what on earth!?!?

Things continued to get weird. 

"Aunt flow,"  who has always been right on time for her visits, decided to come whenever she so well desired, stay as long as or as short as she wanted to, and then reek havoc during her stay.  I will spare you any more details, and just leave it at that. 

To top it off, last month, during a normal week, same workout routine, same diet, same everything, I gained 5 pounds!  The following week, after even more than normal workouts and strict dieting, I gained another 3 pounds.

Then, this week, after eating horribly this weekend, and not working out, I lost three pounds.  Same scale that is calculating Ben's weight accurately and normally.

Basically, something is really going on with my body.  It has gone absolutely crazy on me.

In order to handle the hair crisis, I got it cut.  I am so glad I did!  I love my new hair cut, and I am thinking about going back to go just a tiny bit shorter with a ton more layers going up the back.  The stacked look I was going for in the first place, but the hair girl didn't quite understand.  I have to use a straightener now as well.  It is kind of cool I guess.
yup, the picture was taken in the closet.  I asked Ben to take it while he was getting ready for Church, so he just snapped it right then and there.

The hair stylist kept on commenting on how curly my hair was and how lucky I was to have such naturally curly hair.  I just laughed and tried to explain that I have never had curly hair until this month.  She didn't get it.  Oh well. 

I also went in to the gyno. on Friday.  They basically took, what felt like, 1/2 of my blood away for testing.  He is thinking it may be my thyroid, so that will be the first step.

If it is not that, he will do an ultrasound and look for cysts, polyps, and all sorts of fun stuff, and then keep going from there until we can hopefully figure out what the heck is going on.

In fact, I am supposed to be getting the test results back on my thyroid toady.  I am, or was, awaiting the phone call. Too bad #4 got a hold of my phone and thought that sucking on the battery was oh, so much fun.  My poor dead, non-functioning battery is now resting in a bag of rice trying to get all of the slobber sucked out of it.  Guess, I won't be getting any phone calls any time soon.  Yikes!

So there you have it.  The curious workings of the human body.  Who knows, according to the doctor, I may be a 400 pound brunette next month if this keeps up. 

mothers day...literally

As I have been thinking about Mother's day yesterday, I can't help but chuckle and cringe at the same time.  Oh, it was just so ironic to me.  It was a great day, and yet, it was the day in the life of a mother...the good and the not so good.

We had a great weekend.  My family came, and we had a good time.  They got to see our new house, we went on a nature walk by a river, played at a park (yes, all of us dad even did some pull-ups for us!),  had milkshakes, watched silly internet videos, made Kneaders French Toast, and talked and hung out.  It was a very fun weekend, and I was happy to be able to spend Mother's Day with my mom.

My family left Sunday morning, and them my kids presented me with some very cute Mother's Day gifts.  Ben even helped them do a candy bar poster.  It was a warm, fuzzy, morning.  The kind of Mother's Day morning you figure a lot of mothers have. 

And then we went to church.

And we all sat in the middle of the middle row.

Do I even need to say more?

I was wearing my cute, newish outfit that I have only worn once before.  I had on my favorite necklace and some new bracelets from Ben as well.  We all sat down for Sacrament meeting, and I began to play with Luke, on my lap.

About 5 minutes into Sacrament meeting, I felt something warm on my lap.  I looked down just as Luke finished peeing all over me.  It had completely bypassed his diaper somehow, and had completely soaked my skirt, to the point of no return.  I did my best to wipe up what I could, but it was so incredibly soaked, that I ended up going home to change.

Around that same time, William decided to announce, in his loudest voice that he , "had to go pee...right now!"  So Ben and I stepped on toes, squished past, bumped into, and apologized our way past everyone on the bench and out into the hall.  I went home with Luke, Ben took William to the bathroom.

When I got back, and had bumped and squished my way back to our seat, I had been sitting for no more than 5 seconds when William announced in his loudest voice, while grabbing his bum, that "he had to poop...right now!"  This brought on a lot of chuckles from people around us, and some eye rolling from Ben and I.

So, Ben grabbed William and stepped on toes, squished, bumped and apologized his way past everyone again, and out into the hall to the bathroom with William.

As soon as they left, Sam told me that he needed a drink, and Mary decided that she had to go to the bathroom right that second.  So, I shook my head, and sent them on their way.

As they were bumping past everyone, and Ben was squishing his way back with William, Luke decided to grab our "ultra crayon container" complete with over 100 crayons, and dump it upside down.  Awesome.  He also decided to scream his head off when I tried to pick them up.

Pretty soon, the crayons were picked up and Mary and Sam had smashed their way back to our seats.  I was dying.

After Sacrament meeting ended, we were told that they guys were taking over Primary, so the Mother's could have a break and go to Relief Society.  Awesome!  That made my day. 

And then I realized that Ben had to teach, so I would have to take Luke.  Dang. 

I figured Luke wouldn't be that hard.  Wrong!  I ended up in the hall during Sunday school, and then decided to try Relief Society.

Luke was so sweet and cute, and I was reflecting and how much I love being a mother.  I had just been so upset during Sacrament meeting, and now I was here, smiling and happy again.  Tis' the life of a mother.  So typical.

I was enjoying the amazing lesson, holding my sweet baby, when Bam! Luke, grabbed my fsvorite necklace and yanked.  The beads flew everywhere!  argh!  As I was scooping up the beads and apologizing to everyone around me, Luke found the crayons once more, and poured them out.  After I cleaned the mess, I took him him out to the hall.  On our way out, he managed to grab some old lady's purse and dump it out.  Yikes!

Church ended, I felt like a failure in every way.  And then, William came bursting out of nursery with an adorable picture he made for me.  All was right in the world of motherhood once more.

We came home, the kids fought and fought and fought.  I wanted to rip my hair out, and once more, feelings of failure came.

And then the kids took me outside for their "super surprise."  They had made up a play and showed it to me.  My heart turned to butter, and I gloried in the moments I was lucky enough to have.  I felt so blessed.
Kids performing "The Stinky Cheese Man and the Little Old Lady"

Soon after, Sam came screaming into the house.  Ben and I flew out of our chairs as we saw the blood pouring our of Sam's head and down his back.  I went to grab the keys, no question here.  Stitches would need to happen.

As Ben held a sock to Sam's head (the only thing he could get to fast enough), I decided to check out the damage.  To our shock, it stopped bleeding! 

I have no idea how or why.  Sam's back was completely covered in blood, his underware was even a deep red. 

We later learned that William was throwing rocks, and had accidentally hit Sam who was in front of him.

I went from fear, to anger (thinking William did it on purpose), to guilt (when I found out it was an accident), to worry, to relief (the bleeding stopped).  We ended up keeping him home and putting ice on his head.

Our neighbor, a nurse, came over and looked at it.  It is basically a hole in Sam's head that would only require a stitch or two, so we decided to not worry about it.

The poor kid has a huge bump on his head, but to his joy, a great story to tell.  I was in a funk by this point of the day.  Not sure what to feel anymore.

I was so worried about Sam, feeling bad that I wasn't there to stop it, and wondering if he hated me, when he came and told me that he had a surprise for me.
The forgiveness of a child is amazing.  It was a happy mothering moment indeed.

And then Ben made dinner, did the dishes and took the kids on a walk.  I snuggled in Bed, read a book, and looked out the window at the gorgeous mountains, and all was right in the world once more. 

The kids came home, we did crazy and mostly chaotic bedtime routine, and then I snuggled my baby until he fell asleep. 

I made the rounds and kissed all of my children good night.  I couldn't help but say a little "Happy Mother's Day to me, you lucky lady."  And then I went to sleep.

a big reason we moved here

was to let our children have the childhood that both Ben and I  had, loved and remember.  The dirt digging, bike riding, fort making, bug catching, sun soaking, popsicle eating, weed picking, black line in tub making, barefoot running, life of a carefree child in the big adventurous world.

That being said, I can't help but smile when I see things like this.

A fort made out of tires, boards and lots of rocks.

because just painting isn't enough

I have been busy painting.  Painting is a big undertaking, and that should have been plenty in and of itself.  But, I am me.  And for some reason, fate has other ideas for what should and shouldn't be enough.

Mary, wanted an under the sea room.  I wanted her to have a bright, happy, flower filled, fairy, candy colored room.  Mary informed me that, that was a little bit babyish for her now.  NNNOOOOOoooooo!  Sniff, sniff.

I had to agree with her, and I also realized that you are a kid once.  You have your own, cute, kid bedroom once.  Why not let Mary have the room she wants, will love and will remember.  So, under the sea it was.

I got the blue and periwinkle paint and went to work.  I was extremely nervous painting in our brand new house. Oh, did I mention that it was Mary's idea to mix blue and purple.  I thought it was genius!  Blue walls, purple ceiling.  I was thrilled to get the little bit of "girl color" mixed in there.

I slowly, and very methodically began painting her room.  I fretted over every tiny drip.  I was so nervous about painting the ceiling and possibly dripping paint somewhere.  I think I gave myself a cold sore and maybe an ulcer, but I was determined not to drip...anywhere.

I was so proud of myself when the room was done, and not one drop of paint was out of place!!!!   I felt like cheering, so I did.  Yup, I do stuff like that sometimes.  There may or may not have been some dancing as well.

I have to admit.  I really love her room now.  We all do.  It is so cool!

Dresser complete with Beach towel, lava lamp, tray with sand and shells, and a glowing jellyfish.

Dolphin...Mary's favorite part of the room.  Pillow pet dolphin as well, and a very cute purple comforter that didn't really get the best picture., but is so adorable.

Her "waterfall, that has real water and makes it sound like you are in the sea, another glowing jellyfish, and stuffed dolphins, fish and an octopus.

As I was basking in my victory, I failed to see my little #4, sneak past me.  Naturally, he was extremely curious about the big shiny container filled with smooth looking colored stuff, and naturally, he pulled on it in order to get a better look.  End result:  1/2 gallon of periwinkle paint poured all over the blanket I had on the carpet.

I was horrified at the sight, and then thrilled that it all landed on the blanked.  Pretty sure another cold sore popped out right then and there. I quickly bundled up the blanked, and ran it down the stairs and out the door, where I placed it on the rock field of a yard we have.  I also placed the paint roller and tray out there as well.  As I made my way back up to the very sad Luke, whose play was so quickly taken away, I came face to face with my biggest fear for the day.

The paint had poured from the blanket, down the stairs, across the living room, and out the door.  I must not have bundled the blanket enough.

Oh, and did I mention that our carpet is light.  Oh yeah.

This was the first time I have cried over something in our new home getting dented, smashed, nicked, or just un-newified.  After all, I have 4 active children.  I am smart enough to know that things will happen, and I really try hard not to sweat the little things and just let my kids live a point.

This big, purplish, bluish mess dripping down the stairs, and pooling on others, staring me in the face, was more than I could handle though, and the tears came.

After my pity party, I got to work. 

For FOUR hours.

Yup, I scrubbed, soaked, sponged, scrubbed, soaked, sponged, wiped, washed, dried, called neighbors to borrow cleaner after using all of mine, called my mom for tips and pity, and did everything I could for the next 4 hours to undo this horrid mess.

I ended up getting most of it up.  I seem to be the only one that can still see the blue peeking through the carpet on our stairs, and as long as I am the only one that can still see it, I am happy.

The next day, as Ben and I were walking around the house making plans with our landscaper, Ben looked at the house and gasped.  I turned my gaze to where Ben was staring, and my jaw dropped as well. 

In all of the mayhem, I had forgotten to throw away the roller and the tray that I had placed outside.

As a result, my #3 had decided to help with the painting.
on the outside of our house and on the cement.


No tears this time, but I am pretty sure another cold sore popped out.

Needless to say, we are now waiting for our dude from Edge Homes to come over and hopefully give us a color match, so we can paint over this.

Oh, why can't painting just be that...painting.  *sigh*

I have also painted the boys room and guest room since then.  I figured the worst had happened, so I no longer had fear, just defeat.  Boo.

I am happy with how the other rooms turned out though.

Guest room:
I fell in love with this green color!  Turned out great.  And of course, I smile every time I see that dresser.

Boys room:

This is very similar to how their room was in Herriman.  The other wall is brown, but wouldn't show up on the camera.  They have the airplanes hanging from the ceiling, and I am thinking of painting a road that goes around the walls, or the top border in their room to match the street signs.  We will see.


Aside from that being my absolute favorite show in the inverse, there is another reason I am typing about bones.  My daughter.  Nope, not my three daughter.

As always, warmer weather brings out the adventurer in all of my children, but this spring has opened my eyes to Mary a little bit more.

Mary is the kind of girl who loves to dress up.  Loves accessories, loves sparkles, chap stick, big sunglasses, fingernail polish, big earrings, and fun shoes.

She also loves to the dirt.  Not only does she love to dig, but she somehow finds bones, and lots of them.  Instead of squealing that they are gross, or walking away, Mary will get even more curious and continue to dig.

I wish I had pictures of everything, but to be honest, I am so grossed out by what she brings home, I don't think to get a picture of it.

A month ago, it was the full skeleton of a badger.  She not only dug up the skeleton, which she somehow found.  She taped each individual bone to paper, labeled them the best she could and then brought it into the house to show me. 

I did my best to praise her for her hard work, and tell her to keep it outside at the same time.  I later found our front porch had turned into a badger bone display.  Blah!

Two weeks ago, she and Sam went on a bike ride.  Mary came home with an entire deer head.  She was so excited she could hardly speak, and was begging to come back with the rest of the body.  She had rode the entire way home with this.

I took the picture, at Mary's insistence, let her show all of her friends, and then I threw it away later that night, without her knowing. 

The next day, Mary came in the house covered in paint (which was also in the garbage) and her precious deer head.  Dang.  She is smart.

She wanted me to take another picture, but this time with the decomposing skin showing.  I choked down the bile rising in my throat, and took another picture.
She asked me the other day if we could please dig up our baby guinea pig, so she could see what phase of decomposition it was in.  She was met with a very stern no...and maybe a little cringe as well.
There is a dead cat at the kids bus stop.  Great spot, I know.  All of the kids squirm and squeal every single day when they see it.  The parents keep saying someone should move it, but of course no one does.
Mary, on the other hand, LOVES it.  I get the report everyday.  "Today it's fur is starting to come off, and the flies at one eyeball."
"Today it was so cool mom!  You can see the leg bone, and the other eye was eaten by a bug, so now you can see some of it's skull and brain."
And yes, she never takes note that I may be eating something at the moment, or possibly petting our cat, Penny, at the time.
She has begged me numerous time to bring the dead cat home, or to let her walk the 1/2 mile from the bus stop with it in her backpack.  She is always met with a firm no, and another talk about germs and diseases, but I just have a hunch that the dead "bus stop cat"  will end up in our garage at Mary's "lab table" one of these days.
Aside from the full skeleton, she is constantly bringing random bones home that she finds.  Dead bugs also seem to be catching her attention, and she loves to pin them to paper and label them.
I am not sure what exactly this will all amount to.  I guess I am glad she is interested in stuff after they are dead, instead of the actual killing.  That would be disturbing for sure.  But this is uncharted territory for me.
It is pretty funny when Mary comes bursting through the door, completely covered in dirt from head to toe, all excited about the newest discovery, so maybe I will just leave it at that,
and stock up on a LOT more soap and hand sanitizer.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

guess who...

had her babies.  


We had been commenting that very day about how poor Marsha looked like she was going to explode.  We decided to let her out of the cage to waddle around a little.  We also decided to let her "guy friends" join her.  We let them wander around for a while, and then as soon as the boys started harassing poor Marsha, we put them all back. 

About an hour later, Marsha started makes all sorts of noise.  I looked in the cage one minute, and there were no babies.  5 minutes later, I looked in the cage again, and there they were!  She had three little fuzzballs, but one did not make it.

 I tried to help it, but it just didn't survive.  I was a lot more sad than I thought I would be about it.  It broke my heart, to hold this tiny little furry ball, and watch it struggle. We buried it in a special place in the yard, where we will be planting a tree in the future.  Until then, thanks to the kids, it constantly has rocks and flowers around it.  :)

The two surviving babies are so so so cute!  We named the Alfalfa and Darla.  They came out with eyes open, walking, eating normal food and also nursing, as well as covered in tons of poofy fur!  They were nothing like the naked rats I thought they would look like.

They have become a neighborhood spectacle, and we constantly have kids coming in to hold them, feed them and look at them.  I am right in on it, begging for a turn to hold them myself.  :)

In a few weeks, we will have to find homes for some of our guinea pigs.  As cute as they are, we can't have 5 of them.  Nope.  We will cross that bridge when we get there, but for now, we are loving our cute little fur ball friends.  They really are so cute.

St. George and a goal... a very big goal.

Our next door neighbors and good friends invited us to go with them on a trip to St. George this weekend.  They have a townhouse there.  We thought about it for about, oh, 5 seconds, and decided to go.  Besides, it snowed that day, and I we were beyond ready for some sun, water and heat!  We were not disappointed.
I have only been to St. George once, and it was to run my very first full marathon in 2001.  We drove there, ate dinner, and went to bed.  I ran the next day, and we drove home that night because I had to be back to BYU-I the next day for school.
The only sight-seeing I did on that trip was the running course, which was awesome, but it didn't leave much as far as memories of the actual town.  We were all curious to see what St. George was all about this time.
We ended up LOVING it.  It was so much fun!  The townhome was right by a pool and a big park.  The kids would have been fine staying there the entire time.  They swam and swam and swam.  Believe it or not, I do not have one picture of them swimming.  I just became such a common thing for them to do, that it didn't seem camera worthy. oops!
We also checked out Brigham Young's house.  I wish I could have taken that yard with it's big shade trees, wrap around porch, and endless flowers home with me.  No to mention the amazing antiques in the house.  The kids thought it was ok, Mary was the most interested, but for me, it was so cool!
We also checked out the temple and the visitors center.  Again, I forgot to take pictures.  I can justify it all by saying I was living in the moment, instead of focusing on taking the pictures for later moments, but in reality, I just forgot.
The temple is a favorite of ours now, and I think I have Mary convinced that it is the one she should get married in.  :)  The history of it is really neat, and the temple itself is just so pretty.  It also held some symbolism to me, because it was the sight of the finish line of the marathon I ran.  Lots of symbolism there if you think about the race of life, and the finish line.
We did a hike in Snow Canyon.  Luke and William were asleep, so I stayed in the car for this adventure, but the crew came back filthy and smiling, so I think it was a hike well done.

We also went to the finish line of the 1/2 Iron Man that was taking place.  The weather was warm, and the splash park couldn't have been at a better place!

Luke was fighting Strep throat and a bad fever for most of the trip, but by the last day, that penicillin was kicking in, and he was loving the splash park!

 Watching these people do this amazing thing, and accomplish something so awesome, was VERY inspiring.  I even found myself tearing up for these people as they crossed the finish line.  I could just feel how much work went into this moment for them.

It was so inspiring in fact, that Ben and I now have a very serious goal of doing this very thing within the next two years.  It is a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and a 13.2 mile run (a half marathon).  I am not worried about the run or the bike, but the thought of the swim makes me want to pee my pants, then run and hide.  That is a LONG way to swim.  At the peak of my marathon training, when I was running between 15-19 miles each Saturday, I would swim to cross-train, and be completely dead after about 15 minutes.  Not kidding! Ben and I plan on getting a coach to help us get started with that part of the training.  I don't think it would be right to doggy paddle for 1.2 miles.

We would start now, and do the 1/2 Iron Man next year in St. George, but we have other plans in mind, and things we would like to do this year before we begin that journey.  Ben and I are doing the Ragnar here in a month, and that will be enough for me this year.  I may do a few half marathons or something as well, but no fulls.

So, the goal is for two years from now.  I can't wait to start this madness with Ben and to participate in such an amazing event with him.

I have had plans on doing one more marathon, in St. George, (kind of ending where I started thing), but I am pretty burnt out of marathons, and have known deep down that I may just not have the drive for that kind of training anymore.  My fire for marathon running, isn't really burning anymore.  I finally hit my goal time with this last marathon, and I have no regrets. 

But oh, it would be so amazing to, instead, go back to the place that started my endurance event journey, and do something like this!  

OK, back to our trip.  Aside from what I mentioned, we ate yummy food, played Sequence one the kids were asleep, Ben and I did some morning runs,  we chatted with our friends, I had a wild goose chase trying to find a place with wifi so I could get my work done (that was a crazy mess),  played at the park, and we soaked in the sun and warm weather.  It was a wonderful break.  Oh, and did I mention how much I enjoyed the speed limit!

Oh yeah!

 The kids swam, ran, climbed, hiked, played, and played and played.  This was the scene every night, after their final pleas and begs to do more.  I am sure the parents looked similar when we finally crashed for the night as well. 

 So now we know why everyone likes to go to St. George...because it is rockin' awesome!  That's why.