Do you ever wonder why there are things that people just don't tell you.
Like having your first baby. All you hear about is how awesome it is to have your baby, how sweet it is to rock them, and feed them, and dress them cute. Yes, that is all true.
But, why on earth doesn't anyone ever tell you about the horrendous sleep deprivation, your lower parts being torn to shreds, blow outs, colic, mastitis, post partum depression, and so on.
It would have been so nice to have been warned. Sure, it doesn't change anything, but at least you know that these things are normal while you suffer through them, and you aren't just a horrible parent or the only mother who struggles.
That is how I feel about my first week on this gestational diabetes diet of death.
I have had my own food battles throughout my life, but for the past decade or so, I have found my peace with food.
I don't believed in cutting out any food group, no matter if it is the "unhealthy group" that is trending at the moment. I believe in eating healthy and balanced, exercising consistently, and by all means, if you want a cookie, or ice cream, or a big fat warm cinnamon roll every now and then eat one! This works for me and my body, and it is how I have chosen to live. I am happy with that.
Anyway, this past week, due to this fun thing called gestational diabetes, I have been forced to do just what I don't believe in...cut out a part of the human diet that is not meant to be cut out so drastically. It is not normal, it is not fun, and I will never for the life of me figure out why people choose do this on purpose. To each their own I guess.
*side note* Before anyone gets all judgy on me....I do not have gestational diabetes because of anything I have done. In fact, I fit NONE of the criteria whatsoever. It is not because of what I eat, how much I weigh, or my lifestyle. I have gestational diabetes because the pregnancy hormones that have created such a party for me this pregnancy already, have decided to invade my pancreas and completely mess up it's job of regulating sugar. Nothing I can do about that...nothing.*
So, when I met with my OB and my dietician a week ago, this is what I came away with.
A new diet plan..."that wasn't that bad." Just cutting out about 80% of my usual carb intake.
Promises that I would feel so much better.
Warning of "some" weight loss.
Me "not really noticing much", because it was "really no big deal."
And lots of kicks and giggles about getting my blood sugar all regulated and my body all balanced again.
I walked away feeling like I was going to feel awesome, back to normal, and maybe even better than before.
This is what has really happened:
I live by a number, that I can only obtain by stabbing my finger 6 times a day and placing my blood on a paper that goes into a machine that tells me if I have been a good girl or not.
I eat and eat and eat, and yet feel like I am absolutely starving, about 70% of the day.
Feeling so moody and irritable, I just want to go to another planet, all by myself, and be around no one ever again.
Muscle aches and pains like I have never felt. Pretty much feeling like I have the flu.
Headaches, horrible fatigue, dizziness, and easily brought to tears.
Eating until I feel full, but never satisfied.
Full and satisfied are two completely different things, I promise. Anyone can get full if you eat enough sawdust and cardboard, but are you at all satisfied?? My point is made.
So today, I finally consulted Dr. Google again. I have been beginning to think that I have the flu, or I have been severely poisoned, or that I have no nutrients in my body whatsoever.
I was pretty sure my body was now eating itself or maybe just shutting down, or something.
And guess what I learned.
THIS IS ALL NORMAL for the first 2 weeks of a major carb cutting diet.
I am not talking slowly easing into it. I am talking a drastic cut, like those of us who are one day happily enjoying our granola bars, cereal, and whole wheat bread, and the next day being told to now live on meat, cheese and vegies....or else.
No adjustment time.
Yup, I read scientific journals, forums, blogs, and everything in between.
They call it the "carb. flu." Perfect name, because that is exactly how I have felt.
Supposedly, this will end anytime between now, and 7 days from now. Then my body will realize that it is no longer going to get it's energy from the sugar and carbs that are no longer there, and it will start eating fat for fuel. For now, it is just all sorts of confused and freaking out, and eating whatever it can for energy. (which is why I feel starved all the time...my body is screaming for it's usual energy source)
The only thing I can compare it to, is like hitting the wall in a marathon. Your body is depleted of all of it's usual energy sources, and it just freaks out, and starts to shut down. If you have ever been in a marathon around mile 18-21, you will know what I am talking about. Lots of tears, swearing, lying down, depression, and looks of panic. It is ugly, really ugly.
Glad I was told to expect this....BAhahahaha
Yeah, that would have been nice. What the heck people! Just send me right into a week with Hades while telling me I'm headed to Heaven. Thanks...thanks a lot.
So, here I am 5 pounds less that I was 6 days ago, and feeling like absolute crap.
But hey, apparently this is all perfectly normal, and the baby is just fine. She gets all the nutrients she needs from me, or whatever is left of me.
Get back to me in a week when this all supposedly ends, and suddenly I feel better than ever.
My body will learn to use a new source for fuel, and I will not longer feel like I am starving.
I should get more energy, less cravings, more even moods, and the other symptoms should disappear.
Maybe then I will have nicer things to say. Until then...
You have all been warned.