My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Sunday, October 20, 2013

this is fun

This week was fun.  It was so fun.

A few days after my D & C I began feeling like I was coming down with something big and nasty.

I got a fever, body aches, chills, and all sorts of good stuff.  I felt like the walking dead.

Then, I started to feel like my abdomen and back were having a war over who could squeeze itself the hardest.  Oh, it was lovely, just lovely. I was really happy and fun to be around...just ask my family.

A doctor that I went to at the beginning of the pregnancy just happened to call me the night I was really feeling like death, just to check in.  I told him what was going on, and he let me know, that it wasn't normal.  That was good.  Glad to know not everyone gets to feel like this after 2 miscarriages in a row and a D & C.  I figured feeling like death was just another awesome side effect of it all.

The next morning, I went in to my doctor, had a fun exam that was crazy painful, and then was diagnosed with a UTI and even better,  a nasty infection from the D & C.  My fever was 102 with Advil in my system at the time of my appointment.  I was loving life!

Apparently, there were still some "things" left over inside of me, and it got all nasty infected.  I got the great choice of another D & C, or antibiotics and a pill that would force me to cramp like crazy for 24 hours and try to force the infected "things" out.  And then if that didn't work, a D & C. Imagine my delight with my options.

I opted to try the pills and antibiotics first, and came home to tell Ben that he had to miss work again, because I was sick again, and needed some serious rest and recovery time to kill off 2 infections.  Hooray! So fun for everyone.

Ben is awesome, and as usual, took over the house and kids, while I attempted to rest my infected sick body.

Oh, and not to forget my doctors warning that the 2nd week after a D & C is when the major hormone drop happens.  Rock on.  Perfect timing, don't you think?

I have had a lot of teary moments, but they have been under control.  I have, up to this point anyway, only had one big nasty, ugly bawling, snot flying, rage reacting, head under pillow, Ben scaring, children running, hormone/freak out party.  It was great, wish you all could have been there.

It did result in Ben taking me on a drive through some pretty stuff, allowing me to catch my breath, wipe my eyes, clear the snot, and talk to a listening ear.  Ben is my saving grace.  I love him.  We both needed to clear our heads, our feelings, and try to absorb all that has happened this past little while.  We received some inspiration in a few areas, and I made sure to write those down when we got home.

Yesterday, I was somewhat well enough to go to the temple.  Something I have feeling a strong urge to do for a while now. 

Again, Ben took the kids, while I drug my tired, sick body to the house of the Lord. Ben is amazing, truly amazing.

And what an experience I had there.  My fever shot up, and I felt horrible, but somehow, it was so wonderful too. It was so refreshing, uplifting, thought provoking, and I received some inspiration on where to go from here, and what to do.  It was unexpected, but so real and profound, that I had no doubt.  It was beautiful.

Today, my family and I drove an hour and a half to meet my parents at a half way point from their house and ours, at a random church in Brigham City in order for my father to be able to administer to both Ben and I in ways we really needed, and in a way that could only come from him.  I knew that for sure.  He needed to be Gods hands to bless me and my family at this point in time.  It was precious and special, and gave my body and spirit the power they will need to continue on in the next step of this journey of bringing our baby to us.  Ben and I both feel uplifted in ways we needed and guided as well.  I have been blessed with wonderful parents, and a patriarch of a father who truly blesses our family in so many ways. I will never forget it.

And that about sums up our week. 

Up next...hopefully nothing,
but I do have an appointment with my OB on Thursday to make a plan of action and to try to figure out what is going on.  She is currently going through my whole health history of the past several months, and is going to make a plan with me from there.

Rock on.


The Maughan-sters said...

Oh my gosh Becky. I feel for you. So much!!! I know that this is all terrible, but I also know what a strong woman you are (Even if you don't feel it right now) You have been blessed with so many wonderful gifts and talents. One being the ability to write openly about what you are going through and also the ability to see that Heavenly Father is with you every step of the way. Your faith, while truly tested is amazing. Keep it up girl. You rock. And Tell Ben that he is awesome too. And we love and miss you guys. KNow that you are loved and thought of often.


erin d. said...

Oh man... I have had me a hand full of them snot flying hormone raging psycho woman moments but not nearly with the emotional and physical toils you have gone through the past 6 months. You deserved that one. Sometimes you just gotta let it all go. We are lucky to have such good men aren't we? Continuing to pray for you and your little family. I'm grateful that you are able to feel the Lord speaking to you. It will all work out.