My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I am sick, hear me ROAR!

Warning: the longer I am sick, the grouchier I get. Sorry, read at your own risk. This is a 100% vent post that I will most likely get rid of, if I am awake a few hours from now, which is most likely not the case. I already want to go back to bed and it has only been 10 minutes.

Is is really possible to be feeling worse today? I can't believe my body could feel any worse, but somehow it does. I have NEVER felt so sick in my entire life.
It has been almost 5 days, and no improvement!
Every morning I wake up, something new hurts! It is amazing, but not really.
I can't get into the OB until my fever is under control and the coughing subsides. I told the nurse about the horrible cramping and she said, "oh yeah, that is not good. Not good at all, especially with your high fever and the baby forming all of its vital systems right now. Normally we would have you come right in. I am sure the Dr. would be very concerned. But with the Swine Flu and all...I guess this time we will just have to let Mother Nature run her course."
Who the heck says that to someone who lost a baby 4 months ago! "Let Mother Nature run her course!" Wow! Do you honestly think I want to go in there and share this illness. I will wear a mask and wait outside for Pete's sake. This is my baby we are talking about here! I know for a fact, that the Dr. would let me come see him, but the dang nurses won't leave him messages or let me talk to him. He has seen others with Swine Flu, so what makes me any different?

What is it with people thinking I am dumb enough to share this horrible bug! I got the same thing with mono. It really ticks me me off! Of course I would be careful. The next person that reminds me of the plague I am, and how I need to be careful (no matter the wording) is going to get a lashing! Why the heck do you think I have been inside for 5 straight days now, and will be for another week or so. Hello people, no matter what we all do, it is still spreading! Nevertheless, I am being as careful as possible. And we have plenty of sanitizing wipes and hand sanitizer around every corner.

What ever happened to the benefit outweighing the risks! Haven't I heard that 1 million times already. "Take the Tamiflu. It isn't proven that it won't harm the baby, but the benefit right now outweighs the risk." "Take ..... it is a class C, but the benefit outweighs the risk." "Go ahead and do ...., it isn't proven to be safe for pregnancy, but the benefit outweighs the risk." Geeze! This baby seems to have a lot of "benefit's outweighing the risk right now." I am pretty sure the benefit of saving a baby can outweigh the risk that some person will be within 50 feet of me, most likely not get sick or even come in contact with one germ of mine. It's not like I am going to cough all over them for crying out loud! I have a brain. It is my baby's brain I am worried about! Why blast all over the media about how scary it is for pregnant women to get Swine Flu and scare them to death, when if they do get it, you won't take care of them or the baby!
Few, ok, moving on.

The Dr. is out next week, so no appointment for 2 weeks. I cried over this one for a while. But I am not giving up. I am praying for a miracle. Ben and I will both be calling tomorrow and demanding to talk to the doctor and get me in the door. These cramps will not wait and neither will I, if I can help it.

I am not a big crier, but the faucet is on. I don't care who you are, or how tough you are, Swine Flu will make you cry. It truly is that miserable. And the tears are boiling hot, so it just makes it all the worse.

I am missing out on a baby shower of a good friend tonight. Actually, missing out of all sorts of stuff.

I am getting lonely and so dang homesick.

I just got out of bed (3:00pm), but feel like the living dead. Every square inch of my body kills! I am taking drugs and going back to bed as soon as I finish my "vent."

I've had better days. Much better days.

Swine Flu, Shmine Flu

Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.....right?

This is the wonderful test I got to have for Swine both nostrils. They push the Q-tip up past your sinuses and wiggle it around. My nurse was kind enough to bend the q-tip for me so it wouldn't be as painful going around the nose cavity. I don't think it worked. They also tested me for strep right before this...two Q-tips down the throat as well. I may have just developed a Q-tip phobia. Rock on!


Team Serra said...

hang in there becky! we're praying for you and for those silly nurses to have a change of heart :)

shaina said...

You can vent all you want. I'll listen to you.

Deanna said...

I'm listening, too! Vent all you want, because you deserve to. :) We're praying for you!

J&E said...

I was going to say you just need to demand to be seen by a doctor!!! But since you are going to do that I am happy. We were exposed to swine flu and never got it, but I had the tests done for both regular and swine flu - it was awful, I feel your pain, they did a strep culture too. My poor cousins had it, I saw how horrible it was 1st hand. Hang in there. we are rooting for you and sweet heart #4. Love you Beck, get some rest. hug hug.

Colleen said...

Sometimes a good vent makes it just a bit better! I am so sorry you have this HORRIBLE virus, and I totally know what you mean about the scare factor for pregnant women. Why in the world won't they let you see your doctor now? I am so sorry you are so miserable! We sure missed you last night! Your baby and your quick improvement are in my prayers.