My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Monday, June 8, 2009

One Day at a Time

I thought that while I am awake and have a little bit of energy and a clear mind before the medication takes over, I should post an update.

First of all...we have been overwhelmed by all of the love and support that has been sent our way. We are so touched. It has truly lifted us and is carrying us through. We are so humbled and deeply, deeply grateful. There is no way to ever be able to convey our feelings of gratitude for so many of you that have blessed our lives these past few days. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you, thank you, thank you.

We are taking things one day at a time. Things are very rough on all sorts of levels, but we are making it through moment by moment. We have watched as miracles and blessings continue to happen one after the other. I will post some of these during times I am able to think clearly and feel like blogging. The Lord is truly lifting us and he has sent numerous angels (all of you) our way to help bouy us up.

As for the physical recovery, I am on 100% bedrest until I can stand without getting dizzy, and we can get my blood count back up to a decent level. The only trips I take are to the bathroom, and those take a lot of energy. Due to everything that happened before, during and after the surgery, my blood count is very very low. According to the doctor, it may be another few weeks before I am able to do much. It will be months before I get a clean bill of heath. A lot of patience is going to be required.

Because of the blood loss, the surgery that was longer than normal, the labor pains I went through, and from hitting my head/shoulder/neck, I am very, very sore and incredibly weak. I have really strong medication that helps quite a bit though and it allows me to get a good amount of sleep and rest. I also have some medication to help me cope with our loss while I recover physically as well.

My mom got here last night, and Ben's mom will also be coming when my mom leaves on Thursday. We know it was not easy for them to drop everything to come to our aid, but they did, and we are so grateful. It is already lightening our load and helping tremendously.

Ben has been absolutely wonderful. He has taken on a lot and has been through so much the past few days. He hasn't once complained. I basically require the same help as an infant would at this point, and he does it all so gently and lovingly. He has been by my side from the moment everything started to happened and he has not left. I feel very close to him right now and we have drawn nearer to eachother as we walk this painful road together.

As far as the emotional is not easy, and it will take time. The tears continue to flow and our hearts ache deeply. Some moments are better than others. We have had some very special experiences though, that have comforted us and helped us to have peace about our baby. We feel a deep sense of loss and heartache, but we also have peace and hope.
Again, thank you all for your kind words, actions and thoughts. They have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

We will continue to take everything one day at a time.


shaina said...

We love you Becky.

Jaggers Brain said...

Becky... I love you so much, I wish I could be there to put my arms around you and feed you wheat thins and marshmellows!

You are incredible, and so loved by so many. You and Ben and your amazing family truly are an inspiration to so many. I know I have said that before, but I truly mean it!

I love you!

Nancy said...

You're doing great Becky. This is so hard, but you're perspective is positive. I'm glad the Moms can help you guys out. Take all the time you need to heal. Don't try to do too much too soon. We're still praying for you and mourning with you. All our love....

runningfan said...

My heart is aching for you, Becky. Hang in there.

Jessica said...

Your family is an inspiration to me. I cannot even imagine the pain you are going through (emotionally and physically). My heart aches for your loss and I am so amazed at the strength you have to carry on. We love you we know the Lord will bless you.

The Hardy Things in Life said...

Ben, Becky, and kids! We love you guys a ton and know that you are in our prayers!! You are an amazing women and have been an inspiration to me!! We are very sorry for your loss, and the hard times you have had to overcome. We love you guys!!

Tamarama said...

We're so sorry to hear about everything that has been happening to you lately. Our hearts are with you!

Colleen said...

I think that you are able to post this at all says loads about your emotional, mental and physical strength my friend! You amaze me! I am glad you are on the road to recovery, even if it will be long, and that you have a great family to help you along the way!

my3suns2 said...

Becky, our hearts and prayers will continue to be with you and your family. I'm so sad we are leaving, but we will stay in touch as you continue to heal. You're amazing and we're so lucky to count you as friends.