I thought that while I am awake and have a little bit of energy and a clear mind before the medication takes over, I should post an update.
First of all...we have been overwhelmed by all of the love and support that has been sent our way. We are so touched. It has truly lifted us and is carrying us through. We are so humbled and deeply, deeply grateful. There is no way to ever be able to convey our feelings of gratitude for so many of you that have blessed our lives these past few days. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you, thank you, thank you.
We are taking things one day at a time. Things are very rough on all sorts of levels, but we are making it through moment by moment. We have watched as miracles and blessings continue to happen one after the other. I will post some of these during times I am able to think clearly and feel like blogging. The Lord is truly lifting us and he has sent numerous angels (all of you) our way to help bouy us up.
As for the physical recovery, I am on 100% bedrest until I can stand without getting dizzy, and we can get my blood count back up to a decent level. The only trips I take are to the bathroom, and those take a lot of energy. Due to everything that happened before, during and after the surgery, my blood count is very very low. According to the doctor, it may be another few weeks before I am able to do much. It will be months before I get a clean bill of heath. A lot of patience is going to be required.
Because of the blood loss, the surgery that was longer than normal, the labor pains I went through, and from hitting my head/shoulder/neck, I am very, very sore and incredibly weak. I have really strong medication that helps quite a bit though and it allows me to get a good amount of sleep and rest. I also have some medication to help me cope with our loss while I recover physically as well.
My mom got here last night, and Ben's mom will also be coming when my mom leaves on Thursday. We know it was not easy for them to drop everything to come to our aid, but they did, and we are so grateful. It is already lightening our load and helping tremendously.
Ben has been absolutely wonderful. He has taken on a lot and has been through so much the past few days. He hasn't once complained. I basically require the same help as an infant would at this point, and he does it all so gently and lovingly. He has been by my side from the moment everything started to happened and he has not left. I feel very close to him right now and we have drawn nearer to eachother as we walk this painful road together.
As far as the emotional recovery...it is not easy, and it will take time. The tears continue to flow and our hearts ache deeply. Some moments are better than others. We have had some very special experiences though, that have comforted us and helped us to have peace about our baby. We feel a deep sense of loss and heartache, but we also have peace and hope.
Again, thank you all for your kind words, actions and thoughts. They have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.
We will continue to take everything one day at a time.