My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Locked Out, Checked Out, Put Out

How to successfully get yourself into a big pickle.

First. Shut and lock all windows in the house. Tug on them to make sure all is secure.

Second. Make sure all doors are locked nice and tight.

Third. Grab the wrong set of keys (the ones without a house key on them) and take a nice fun walk with the kids. Make sure to make the walk long, so they will be starving, hot and worn out when you get home.

Fourth. Go get the mail, because at least you have THAT key on you.

Fifth. Walk up to the front door and pull out the key chain.

Sixth. Stare at the keychain in horror as you realize you don't have the house key. Then proceed to try to unlock the door with all of the other keys on the keychain, just because. Say "Rats!" as loud as you can.

Seventh. Close your eyes and force yourself to walk around the house through the lawn that had a snake in it a few days ago. Walk around the house and try to open all windows and doors in vain. Say "aarrrggghh" as loud as you can.

Eighth. Listen as kids begin to cry that they are hungry, tired, hot and thirsty. Notice that you feel the same. Look at neighbors homes and notice no one is home.

Ninth. Call your husband even though you know this is the one day he will be in Denver all day training. Call doesn't work, try texting.

Tenth. Call a locksmith who will not give you a price, so you hang up on him.

Eleventh. Your husband calls you and says to hang on while he tries to find a way to get home.

12th. Unlock the one car that doesn't have a garage opener in it, and let the kids play in it. Find a garage door opener in it and get really excited. Then get sad again as you realize it is the garage door opener to your parents home in Pocatello, Idaho. Wonder why the heck that is in the car. Sit on the porch and pout for a while. Wait for the husband to call back for the next 25 minutes.

13th. Listen to kids get really tired, really hot, really thirsty and really hungry. Mary has to pee. Take Mary to the backyard, tell her she is camping and have her pee in a bush. Nasty! Call husband. No answer. Call the locksmith. There will be no waiting for an hour for the husband to get home, if he can even come home.

14th. Husband calls and tells you to call the locksmith. Already done. Locksmith is on his way.

15th. 30min later a minivan pulls up. Watch as tall guy smelling like smoke walks up to you. Notice that his hair is in a bun! What? Who does that? Then again, I have a mullet.

16th. Notice the guy look you up and down. Tell the guy that your husband is on his way any second and that the neighbors are on their way over as well. Good one. Pick up the kids and walk to the front door.

17th. Watch as they guy opens your door in 10 seconds and then looks in the house. Force a smile as the guy tells you your house "smells good." ????? You don't buy it.

18th. Take the paper the man hands you. $125!!!! Almost choke. Get really mad. Turn around to hand the guy your credit card and notice that his camera phone is facing you. Watch as the guy hurries to put the phone to his ear and pretend to talk to someone. Frown as you give the guy your card. Try not to think that your rear end might now be in his phone.

19th. Wonder what the heck is going on when they guy really does call someone a while later and gives them ALL of your credit card info. Turn to pick up a kid and turn back around to see the guy taking a picture of your house with the phone. ??????

20th. Say goodbye to the guy, slam the door, lock it, lock it again, double check the lock and watch the guy drive away. Make sure he is all the way gone.

21st. Get kids lunch and water. Call husband. Tell husband story.

22nd. Husband calls company right away, while you wait to hear what happens. Good husband.

23rd. Wait for the verdict.

Still waiting.


Dan and Katie said...

Yikes! Gross guy with a bun! Maybe you will get a refund because the guy was not "professional". Good Luck!

runningfan said...

what a day! can't wait to hear what happens. you totally should have called me...i at least have food and a bathroom.

shaina said...

Am I not in your phone???? I was home all day. You should have called. An afternoon watching my vacuum is better than being photographed by bun guy!

Deanna said...

That's hilarious, creepy, and did I mention creepy? Can't wait to hear the verdict...and that is just weird about the bun.

Glad he was able to get your door unlocked!

Familia Morales said...

What an 'interesting' kind of day to have. You'll have to tell us how things worked out with the icky bun guy.

J&E said...

I guess he was really into buns his bun and your buns (bwa ha ha ha), Sorry I couldn't help it. But seriously (sing song voice) creeep-o-maaaatiiiic! Way to lock those doors once gross gross was gone, sheesh! Can't wait to hear that results of Ben's call.

Adri said...

Becky! Why didn't you walk down to my house! I'm creeped out by the locksmith. No one like that should have the power to get into any door they want!

Colleen said...

Ewww, how grody! What a frustrating situation. We got locked out a couple of weeks ago, but fortunately Adam wasn't in Denver and rescued us quickly! I am glad Ben called the company, that just sounds ALL WRONG.

Jessica Kay said...

umm, kinda scary...I'll be checking back.

Jeff and Lori said...

I'm glad the guy got your door unlocked...not so glad it was so easy for a guy like THAT to get your door unlocked. (they should have strict background checks for people with that kind of power) Good job Ben for calling the company, let us know what happens!

Jenni said...

Oh my heck!! Creepy man!!!! That is the most disturbing thing ever!!! I'm so glad that Ben called the company. Can't wait to hear what they say about him. Even though it was an awful experience you had me in stitches in how you worded it! You crack me up!!

kendra said...

spooky. Good for Ben to call the company. That is definitely a very bad no good day. I hope you've had some luck with the company by now. At least get your money back for making you feel so uncomfortable. Yucky. You need a hide-a-key (and so do I!).

Tamarama said...

Gross! I hope he doesn't get into your house again!