OK, here's the deal. I am pregnant. That really should be enough to say, right?
But, because this is the last pregnancy, and someday I may actually miss this (?), I am going to update the blog about it. So, enjoy... or something.
This week marks the end of the first trimester!
I always have a hard first trimester, but this one, well, this one takes the cake. I cannot even begin to describe the emotion and energy that has gone into the past 14 weeks, as we have seen scary test results, ultrasounds, been told to prepare for the worst, but hope for the best, prayed for miracles to keep our baby alive, waited weeks to see if our baby had made it, cried, prayed, hoped, rejoiced, and broken out in cold sores, all the while still experiencing all the crazy hormone changes, almost debilitating fatigue and evil nasty nausea that just come with it.
I personally feel like the heavens should break open and angels should be belting the hallelujah chorus, while showers of glitter and confetti pour down on my head, and my nausea magically disappears, a giant pizza is thrown down from the sky for all to enjoy, and we all dance around in delirious jubilation and relief that it is over and we survived it.
I guess I will settle for a little yippe from me and a high five to Ben, and maybe a nap, if I get lucky.
Last week, I went in for some genetic testing to be done on the baby. With my history of miscarriages, the drops in progesterone this pregnancy, and a period of 2 weeks where the baby did not grow at all, my doctor thought it would be beneficial to have some genetic testing done.
Anyway, I went in for the genetic testing ultrasound and blood test. That same morning, I also had an appointment with my OB. She had a really hard time finding the heartbeat, but she finally did. She mentioned something about my placenta being in an abnormal place that can muffle the heartbeat, but that all was well. That was a blessing, because going in to the genetic ultrasound, I didn't have to worry that they would find my baby no longer living. It was so nice to have that assurance this time.
The specialty clinic was in Salt Lake, and I must say, their equipment is amazing! The clinic I went to is the place where women come if they, or their baby, have either a genetic problem, heart problem, brain problem, or any other complication that is pretty severe. Because of this, they have top notch ultrasound equipment, and it was so cool!
The images of my little baby in utero were so clear and detailed, I almost forgot what I was there for, and that I was nervous. Some of the ultrasound was even in 3D. I got to see my baby sucking his/her thumb. It was so clear that I could literally see each curled finger and the thumb moving back and forth with the mouth as the baby was sucking. I could see the cute little profile of my baby, the little hands and feet, and even blood vessels and organs. For being so early on in the pregnancy, and for all we have been through, it was really neat and special for me to see these things.
The tech measured and typed things in, changed screens and angles, and chatted to me happily. Once it was done, another tech came in. She was one that oversees everything and makes sure the ultrasound was clear and provided the info they needed. She asked me some odd questions about previous C-sections, D & C's, or surgeries on my uterus. I answered them, and a feeling of unease came over me.
She then left, and said she was going to talk with someone that was over her, and come back. In the main time, my blood was drawn.
When she came back she told me that my baby looked great! She said that from what the ultrasound showed, the test was good news. The ultrasound results account for 75% of the testing. The other 10% would come from the blood test. The overall test is 95% accurate. I was so relieved and so happy! My baby is probably just fine, as far as genetic abnormalities are concerned! No serious defects were detected from what they could see at this time. I got a call the other day, and the blood test was great too! They told me that no other genetic testing would be necessary. I grinned for a long time after that, and said many prayers of thanks.
On another note, they did talk to me a little about another concern they had, while I was in the ultrasound room. Something with my placenta didn't look right. They were concerned about 2 possible things it could be. She explained each thing to me. Neither one is at all harmful to the baby, which is good news.
One of the things, is not harmful to me or the baby, and can be taken care of sometime after the baby is born.
The other scenario is very different. It is scary, freaks me out, and would greatly complicate this pregnancy, especially for the last trimester, and months following the delivery. It is the most severe complication a pregnant woman can have. Again, it is not harmful to the baby, but this scenario is very dangerous for me.
She then told me that they were not completely sure with either one though, and to try not to worry. ha! She told me to schedule my 19 week ultrasound with them, instead of my regular OB, so they can re-look at my placenta and know for sure what is going on, if anything, as well as get a very high tech anatomy ultrasound of the baby...which will be VERY cool!
Here's the deal. I spent the last week researching, having nightmares about, and worrying myself almost sick over something she said I may, or may not have.
I finally have come to this conclusion.
I have spent 14 weeks, ping ponging back and forth from test results, ultrasounds, and OB visits, being stressed, scared, worried, and constantly researching and wondering with each declaration of bad news and potential bad news. It has been extremely taxing and hard.
Now I finally have some good news about my baby from the genetic testing. I got to see my sweet baby in fine detail. I am out of the first trimester and serious danger zone, although the whole pregnancy is fragile, the most fragile part is over. We fought and we won a battle. My nausea is still here, but is lessening. I am slowly getting some energy. I am finally entering into the only trimester of pregnancy that is kind to me.
I am going to enjoy it!
I have been through a lot the first trimester, and potentially could have some tough things ahead.
I need this time to charge my batteries, enjoy my last pregnancy, enjoy spring, get back to the gym, feel the sunshine, enjoy my family, my amazing friends, and the joys and hardships of motherhood. I need to have hope in this pregnancy, with no news of despair or possible gloom.
I am not going to worry about what my body could potentially have, and stress over something that I will not have answers for, for another 6 weeks.
I really need this next month and a half of joy, happiness, sunshine, and life. I am throwing my worries about this pregnancy to God for now, where he can hold them for me until, if or when, it is necessary that I face them again.
So, that's what I am going to do.
Welcome second trimester!