My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

nausea vs. me..I will prevail!

Things that have seemed to help....a little far, this is the ONLY thing that provides relief from the nausea. I go in feeling terrible and like I just want to go to sleep or barf, but I come out refreshed, happy, and not sick. Sometimes I feel great for up to two hours after I finish. Thank heavens for the gym. We go as much as possible.

Gum..if I don't chew gum, I gag all day. I have been through a lot of flavors, but a slight mint tast helps the most. Last night, Berry gum tasted great, but Ben made me spit it out before I fell asleep so I wouldn't choke. I acutally got really mad at him, although I was half asleep. MY GUM! He was just trying to help. What a thoughtful husband...and a really good sport.

Sleep...A good nights sleep will get me through the first hours of the day pretty well.

Ben...he listens to me vent ALL the time. I am so incredibly miserable, and I feel like I have to talk about it to someone. He patiently listens and sympathizes every time. So sweet. He is also being very patient because I truly don't even want a hug right now. Any touch is not good for some reason. I just want to be left alone in my ball of misery.

Prayers...I pray so hard every night that this will come to an end. After my prayers, I get peace that this will be a small moment. The only question is...what is a "small moment" in God's time. Either way, I do get some peace and reasurrance.

The calendar....oh how wondeful it is to cross off the day every night. One day closer to week 12, which will hopefully be the beginning of the end of this misery. The nights I can't fall asleep, I literally stare at the calendar and think of all sorts of ways to make the days and weeks go faster.

Getting out of the house...anything to keep my mind off of it. Although, if I do too much in a day, it gets worse. I have to have a good balance. I sure do love fresh air though.

Things that don't help

Zofran..which I am very upset about, it was my only hope. Not to mention that they are way too expensive and my insurance only gave me 12. HELLO!!! Who on earth is only sick for 12 days, are you kidding me! And that is if I take one a day. I am supposed to take them every 8 hours. The doctor did say that if the Zofran doesn't work, he has something else in mind. Bring. It. On.

Food...I have gone from serious out of control cravings (something I have never experienced in my life, and hope to never experience again), to wanting NOTHING at all. I just want toast and muffins, and dirt. Everything else makes me sick.

Homesickness....when I don't feel well, I just want to go somewhere where someone else will cook the dinner, where the house isn't mine and I don't have to clean it, and someone can take care of ME....and my kids for a while. It would also be so nice to be with family or to travel and get my mind off of being sick. I REALLY want to go home, but it is not going to happen. I LOVE Colorado Springs, but I miss family so severly at times that is actually hurts. I am talking both families here, Ben's and mine.

Naps...I am so dang tired all day, but if the opportunity comes for me to nap, and I take it, I wake up feeling HORRIBLE!! Honestly, even laying down during the day makes me super sick. Weird!

Smells...I have super-nose right now. I can smell anything. It is amazing. I have a super power. I have always said I am super mom (inside joke), and now I officially have a super power. Most smells make me sick though. Especially the smell of Sam's Club..oh man, yuck! Does that place have to smell like rubber and grease all the time??? Sam's diapers are pretty bad too. I am so glad it has been warm enough the past few days to keep the windows open.

Metal mouth...I am not kidding, my saliva tastes like metal and it is AWEFUL!!! So gross! Every time I swallow I gag. I really wonder if I am eating quarters in my sleep.

So thats it folks. Believe it or not, I am still excited about being pregnant, and I am very excited to have another child in our lives. We recognize the blessing that it is. That thought alone, makes it worth it to me.


Maja said...

I am so sorry that this is your life right now! UGG.. One thing to remember with the gum is to make sure it has xylitol in it. I would chew it a lot when my pill was making me sick. It is supposed to help your teeth instead of rotting them. Just had to add that dental plug in.

Colleen said...

The end will come! Ew. The Sam's Club smell sounds terrible. Not going there anytime soon. I am glad you are finding ways to feel better, even if it is just for a moment. It is so funny how it all goes. For me, who loves gum, gum made me gag! I know what you mean about the too.

Sylvia said...

You are my strong brave daughter that can do anything! I love you and wish I could be there so bad but I know you and am continually amazed that someone so wonderful and brave and funny and beautiful is someone I am lucky enough to call glad I have ya..hang in there, my heart is always with you....Love mom