My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Saturday, February 22, 2014

#5 coming our way

We told the kids on Valentine's Day that we are expecting our last baby to arrive sometime mid September...we are now announcing it to our friends.

Ben and I have known since New Years Day, but have kept the pregnancy to ourselves, because the last 3 months have been a VERY rocky road with this little fetus, and it was just too much to try to explain, and not the right time to spread the news that was changing so often.

  My OB is taking my history of miscarriages seriously, and wanted to monitor this pregnancy closely.  We are so grateful for this decision of hers, it has literally saved this pregnancy so far.

She is a new OB for me, and one that I have struggled with.  I felt very prompted to go to her, and that is the only reason I have stayed.  She has been my doctor for my last 2 miscarriages and did the D& C for the second one.  At first, she just had no emotion at all.  It was straight facts, straight face, and out the door.  I felt forgotten the second I left, and I think I was.  That was a hard thing for what I was going through.

She is extremely good at what she does though, and is very well known for handling high risk pregnancies well.  I know this is why I need her, and as the last 3 months have played out, she has been a HUGE blessing to us.  It is her meticulous testing and knowledge that has caught so many things that were going south. She has even loosened up a little, remembered my name, and may even be a good friend when all is said and done.

 I had several blood tests the first 2 weeks I knew I was pregnant.  
The second blood test I had showed that my HCG was dropping, and scared us.  I didn't have much faith in this pregnancy, and that didn't help.  But the next several tests showed that things were rising again.

I had a 6 week ultrasound where we got to hear a beating heart.  I was in shock, and didn't expect it. 

A beating heart is something I have not heard the last 2 times in a row I have been there, and have experienced seeing 4 times so far in my child bearing years.  It has been really hard for me to have ultrasounds now.   Ultrasounds make me panic.

I had another ultrasound at 8 weeks that really rocked our boat.  It showed that the baby had not grown at all in the past 2 weeks.  My OB tried to give me some hope, that her eyes and voice betrayed, but laid out some very real possibilities that were heart wrenching, and did not look good for the life of our little baby.

We were told to "wait it out" for 2 weeks, and then come back for another ultrasound to see if the baby had survived.  Basically, plan on the worst, and hope for the best.

To say I was an emotional mess those 2 weeks would be an understatement.  It didn't help that I got a phone call the day after the appointment to learn that my progesterone had plummeted.  Low progesterone means miscarriage.

I was put on a double dose of progesterone, in case it wasn't too late,  and told to continue waiting it out to see if the baby had survived that as well.

The progesterone made me really sick, and I hated it, but I knew that if there was a chance it could save my baby, then I would do it.

I got a call the next day saying my vitamin D was down.  So, I started taking that as well.  That supports the growth of the baby.

I went in and out of hope and despair those 2 weeks, worrying about every twinge I felt, every back ache, every cramp, and so on.  It was awful.  I had to wonder if the horrible sickness the progesterone was causing was even necessary, if the baby was not alive.

Finally, 2 weeks passed, and I went in for the ultrasound.  I had a small anxiety attack on the way there, and had to pull over, say a prayer, take some deep breaths, and continue on.

Ben met me there, and we got right in.

The tech found a beating heart right away, and the relief I felt is indescribable.  It was written all over Ben as well.  I felt like I could finally breathe again.  We experienced a miracle for sure.  This baby beat some huge odds going against it.

The baby was alive, and had grown leaps and bounds.  It had caught up to where it should be.  It grew 4 weeks worth of growth, in 2 weeks time. I think I grinned the rest of the day.

I was relieved, but still can't stop the worry about this little bean.  I have experienced enough pregnancy loss and heartache to have learned that things are never "safe" for me and my babies.  No matter the trimester.

My OB is still keeping close tabs, and we will be going to a high risk specialist in Salt Lake the next little while, to have some tests done on the baby. 

I was given to okay to stop the progesterone yesterday.  The placenta has finally taken over the production of that hormone. I hate how the stuff made me feel, but I can't thank God and my OB enough for that little pill.  It truly saved this pregnancy up to this point. I am so glad my OB caught it in time, and scheduled that "one last blood test, just to double check everything."

We are hoping all is well, and praying every day that our baby will continue to live and develop in the way that it needs to.

Throughout this ordeal, and even before this pregnancy, God has let us know time and time again that there is a spirit yearning to join our family, and not to give up.  He has let us know that He is near, and that it is in His hands.  He has given me some very neat experiences to help boost my faith, when the odds seemed so slim this pregnancy, and is helping me to learn that with God, all things are possible.

If all goes well, we should be expecting our last little Maynard bean to join our family around September 13th.

10 weeks.  Baby sucking on his/her hand.  Side view.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

It's amazing! Look at all the room they start out with! Praying this continues healthy! I know the Lord is with you on this journey!