My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Prego Post

I realized that I haven't updated about the pregnancy for a while. So here it is.

As always, the second trimester is bliss compared to the first. I love it and all of the energy that comes with it. It is so wonderful to feel good! I can't believe I only have one week left until the third trimester, so crazy!

The horrid nausea finally passed around week 20. It arrived earlier (5 weeks into the pregnancy) and hung around longer than my other pregnancies, and was the worst so far, so I am very grateful to have it gone. I feel like a new woman, and it is so great!

I have been back to the gym for a little over a month now. I wasn't able to go because of the complications I had earlier, but now I am all clear, and so happy to be exercising again. I am not running, because it hurts me to run when pregnant, and because it is a nice change from the norm. I do the elliptical for 50 minutes and then I walk fast and uphill for about 20. It feels so great to get a good workout in during pregnancy for me. I feel like I am helping my baby and myself by trying to stay fit. Not to mention that exercising is such a part of me, and I need it. I crave it.

Since it is my fourth baby, obviously I am showing. I don't feel huge yet, and I can still fit about 1/2 of my normal clothes, but that will change in about a month. I normally blow up at about 7 months. Sorry, no pictures. I am not a fan of prego pictures of myself, they make me feel weird. As much as I don't like feeling big, it is always so neat to look at my belly and know that a precious child of mine is in there growing and awaiting to join us.

This little guy has really taught me a lot already. I have been very blessed with some incredibly important revelation concerning him and with a very special gimpse into the future of our family. January was a month of a lot of questions and pondering for me, concerning our family, and the Lord taught me some lessons through my son that I didn't even know I needed to learn. My view of motherhood has been taken to a much deeper and much more meaningful level, and I have had a big change of heart with a few things. Our future is not the one that I thought was set for our family just a month ago, but it is going to be so much better, because now I know that that Lord's plan for us is so specific to what will make us happy. I am very excited to see how things unfold for us. I feel a lot more confident and ready.

Even though this was my hardest pregnancy so far, as far as the first 20 weeks went, I am not sure that we are going to stop at 4. I am no longer stubbernly putting my feet in the ground and demanding that we have no more. I don't know if we are done having kids or not, but I do know that I am very happy and excited either way. I guess in time, the Lord will let us know His will, and I am now to a point where I am very open and ready to accept whatever that may be. 4 kids or more kids, my heart is now in the right place, and I am embracing motherhood with my whole heart and soul. I want to, I yearn to, and I am excited to. These children and my family are everything to me and I take my calling to love and nurture them very seriously. I have embraced this calling on a whole new level, and I can honestly say I am so excited to mother these children of mine now and in the years to come.

The cravings have stopped, but I tell you what, I am hungry ALL THE TIME! It is amazing. I like food, so I don't mind the filling the long as the scale approves. ;) Sugar made me VERY sick for the first 5 months, so I hardly ate it, in any form. Now that I can eat it, it is like my body can't get enough. I am very careful, but man, I have never enjoyed a big bowl of ice cream quite like this before. I guess it takes losing something to really appreciate it sometimes.

As a family, we are all very excited to meet our new addition. Mary had her moment of sadness/shock when she learned our girl was a boy, but it has been amazing to me to see her sadness turn into so much love and excitement, so quickly. Kids are so resiliant! She really loves this baby already, and has enjoyed embracing the fact that she could be the only girl, and therefore the only princess in this castle of ours. We have made it a very positive thing for her to look forward to, and I can tell that she is now happy and content with her brother-to-be. She has a very special role as the oldest and maybe the only girl in the family. I can see it clearly, and it makes me so happy that the Lord knows what he is doing and that He places each child in a family exactly where they need to be.

Sam hasn't seemed to pay much attention to the whole thing, until I brought home the ultrasound pictures. He loves to look at them and asks me all the time if he can see them. I have had three ultrasounds so far, so we have lots and lots and lots of pictures. Arms, legs, face, profile, fingers, toes, wee-wee, back, sucking the thumb, waving, yawning, ect. Sam gets a kick out of them, and honestly believes his brother is waving to him in one picture. It is adorable and I will let him think that. It is his link to his brother, and it is special.

Somehow I think William recognizes that there is a little spirit residing in my tummy. He doesn't do much about it, but every once in a while he will touch my tummy or look at it with a reverent look in his eyes. We are allowing William to embrace his last few months as the youngest as much as we can. He is such a fun and happy baby in our home, but I can already feel that his role as a big brother will be very amazing for him to fulfill and I am excited to see it unfold.

My due date it still June 4th. Mine and Williams Birthday. I would love to naturally go into labor, but as we get closer, if it looks like he may just arrive right on time, I will probably be induced, in order to avoid three of us sharing a Birthday. I have been induced before, and all went well, so I have no problems with that, but it is always nice to just let things go in their time. I want my boys to have their own special day just for them. Birthday's are very meaningful and special in our home. I love to celebrate my children and make them feel special and unique. It is the one day in the year just for them. So special. I have gladly given William my Birthday, and I love that we share it, but I think it will be best to let the brothers have their own.

I will turn 30 the week our baby enters this world (most likely). During the first part of this pregnancy, I talked myself into thinking that I am getting too old for this, that pregnancy is too hard on my body, and that I can't do it anymore. I actually was thinking I was old, and truly believing it. Silly, silly me.
Now I have realized that I am still plenty young and plenty healthy to be pregnant. I have been blessed with a body that can have babies and that can bounce back pretty quickly when all is said and done. That is an amazing gift that I have failied to recognize until now. The Lord has blessed me with a very able body and I now know that having 4 kids by age 30 is not by any means old. I am very excited to think the majority, if not all of my 30's will be spent raising kids, not cooking and birthing them. That is pretty cool to me and I really look forward to it and have an insightful and neat view of it.

This little guy is incredibly active in my tummy. He reminds me a lot of Mary in the womb. Constantly moving, hiccupping, jerking and rolling around. It makes for some entertaining ultrasounds and some very funny moments of watching my stomach pop up and down all over the place. Ben loves it, I love it unless it hurts, Mary thinks its great, Sam thinks its weird, and William doesn't really care.

Other than all of that, the pregnancy is just moving along. Some days it moves too fast and I can't believe it, other days it feels like it will never end. I am really trying to embrace it and cherish it, because these moments are really just a short time and a special time. It can be hard to remember that, but I have also known and felt what it is like to lose this precious gift. That can really change a perspective my friends. My next appointment in on Valentines Day and should be good and uneventful. We shall see. ;)

So there you go. A very long and very lengthy pregnancy update. The Lord has opened the way for me to enrich my perspective, pour my heart out on prayer for answers to questions I didn't even know I had, change my heart, receive revelation, gain an amazing outlook concerning my family and our life now and in the future, and become a more refined me, through this baby of mine, and he isn't even here yet. Wow.

No comments: