I read a quote today, and loved it.
"Lonely people build walls instead of bridges."
I must admit, I have been having a bad case of feeling forgotten this week.
Blame it on the pregnancy hormones if you will, or the blahs of winter, but either way, feeling forgotten really bites.
I am surrounded by loving family and friends, so this seems a little weird to me to feel this way. Serioulsly, probably pregnancy hormones, but still.
I think it stems from a few things.
I have not been able to do a lot of the things I used to do that involved being around friends. (running, work out group, relief society meetings on Tuesday nights, ect.) Because of the pregnancy and our schedule, these things have been out of the picture.
Most of my friends are in Young Womens or Primary, so I don't see many of my friends at church, and we are not really doing the same things when it comes to that.
My family is all very busy with their own crazy lives, and even though we live closer, it can still be hard to connect.
The blog is private. Yes, it has been SO nice to have the privacy, but it also has taken some getting used to. It is easy to forget to check a private blog.
I got tired of facebook, and rarely get on there anymore. I don't miss it, but I guess I do miss the connection (however real or fake it was) it kind of provided to outside life.
I have not burned any bridges with anyone by any means, but I think that sometimes people can just kind of forget you after a while of you not being there. Kind of stinks.
This weekend I decided to go way out of my comfort zone and try to set up a group date. It was actually a big deal to me. I love to have fun, I don't love to set it up.
It fell through, which was fine, but I later learned that it was probably because of a girls night thing that I was not asked to be a part of. Double ouch. Ok, actually it made me cry. I am a big girl, and normally I can shrug things like this off, but for some reason this really ran deep this time. Yes, my feelings were very hurt.
So, I have had my nice little pity party this week. I have shed some tears, gotten upset, almost got bitter, and then I got down on my knees.
I was reminded that I am never alone with the Lord. I was also reminded of my numerous friends, my family and so many others out there who really do care. I am not alone and am actually very blessed with so many great relationships. I am not fogotten. Because of feeling forgotten, I have built walls, not bridges. I have not been rude or anything, I just emotionally shut off. Not good.
I have begun working on bridges again. Some old bridges, and some new ones. It is hard, because I still a not able to see people a ton, and I think some good friendships have let me go because I have been "out of the loop", but I am trying. The Lord will make up for where I lack and where I cannot be.
My true friends and family will not forget me. They may pass me by for a while, but deep down, I know people are better than that.
Does anyone else out there ever feel like this, or am I just crazy? I have a feeling I will seriously regret this post, but I made a vow that I would never have an "everything is perfect" blog. When my kids read the blog book in the future, I want them to see and learn from the good times and the bad. Life is about joy and pain.
I want my kids to see that sometimes there will be floods in your life. And maybe when you feel like you are swimming all alone, all you really need to do, is get some help from the Lord and build a bridge (or two or three).