Colic. I hate it so much that I can't even say the word outloud. It is a curse.
The baby cried every few minutes for about 15 hours today. Yesterday was the same. He has been fussy since day one, but is progressively getting worse. We don't sleep. I hardly eat. I don't have time. A shower is a luxery. I have slept for three hours in the past 48 hours and I have spent the rest of the time bouncing, feeding, burping and walking a screaming baby. Mary and Sam have basically been left on their own. The guilt I feel for not being able to take care of them is horrible. The baby is just too demanding. My arms, energy and patience are completely exhausted. I have reached limits to my sanity that I never thought possible. I am probably headed to Idaho earlier than planned. A baby with severe colic and two other kids to take care of, is something that needs a whole army to conquer. Mommy can't do it alone, and daddy has to work. Mary and Sam deserve better. Not to mention the fact that we are supposed to be packing and moving in two weeks. Heaven help us...please.