the delivery

Our little girl is finally here.

She is just 26 hours old, and at the moment, is sleeping right here next to me.  I decided I had better take advantage of the moment, and document her birth, while the details are still fresh.

Of course, I hardly slept at all Monday night.  I was having consistent painful contractions (but that didn't ever get stronger or closer together...story of my last 2 weeks), and I was anxious, excited, nervous and every emotional possible about the induction.  My mom arrived that evening, I did a special little carb shopping trip just for me, and stocked up on all my favorite cereals, and all was set and ready to go. 

Finally, at 4:00am, after tossing and turning and contracting, I just got up for good.  We had to head to Park City for the induction at 5:00am anyway.

I puttered around the house, did an evil little sarcastic laugh as I ate my LAST carb starve breakfast, left a note for the kids, painted my nails pink (to celebrate our little girl's pending birth), took a last minute pregnant picture, followed Ben around in an anxious, annoying way while he got ready (thanks Ben for putting up with me), we prayed, handed a half asleep Luke, who had woken up,  over to grandma, and we were off.

It was foggy, stormy and rainy.  Perfect day to hunker down in a hospital and snuggle a newborn baby.

I joked with Ben about it being a full moon, and stormy.  Word has it that storms and/or full moons bring out all of the crazy labor and delivery experiences.  Little did we know....

It took a good 2 hours to do all of the paper work, get me all prepped, and finally start the Pitocin.  Right when they hooked me up to the monitors, the nurse commented on how I was already having contractions.  I just chuckled.  Yup, my previous 3 nights of no sleep could have told her that.

 I hate IV's, and was thrilled to have that over and done with right off the bat.  The nurse was great, and it really wasn't too bad.  I was happy that they put it in my forearm, instead of my hand.  I felt like I could move. They hooked me up to just saline, instead of electrolytes, because of my gestational diabetes, and we were on our way.

Then my blood work came back.  Not good.  My blood platelet count was 111.  Should be above 155.  This meant that my blood wasn't going to be the best at clotting.  I have a bad history of hemorrhaging during D&C's, and after labor anyway, so this was not reassuring to my OB, the nurses, or any of us.  During a terrible miscarriage 4 years ago, I lost 1/3 of my blood due to this very problem, went to the hospital via ambulance, and spent the next 6 months with mono, and severe anemia. 
They decided that I was going to get another IV in my other arm during this delivery, in case I ended up needing a blood transfusion.  Boo. Double whammy with the IV's, but grateful that I was in good hands, and in a hospital where I could get fast help if it was needed.

Normally, it takes hours for the Pitocin to kick in, so Ben and I settled in for the wait.  I got the Pitocin at 8:00, and by 9, I was actually feeling things!  Yippee!  It did help that my body had already been contracting anyway.

At 10:00 doctor Sabella came in and decided to break my water.  She did, and it was a little weird that there really wasn't much amniotic fluid.  No one is sure why, but not much "water" really came.  Dr. Sabella seemed a little shocked, but not at all worried, so I didn't worry either. It sure did get the contractions coming though.  In the next 30 minutes, I was very ready for the epidural.  I was so excited with how fast things were going.

  I have had 5 epidurals now, and the last one I had, I didn't even feel when it was put in.  It was awesome, and I was hoping for a  repeat of that experience.  Nope...this one took the cake.  Poor Ben, I can't believe I didn't break off his fingers with how hard I was gripping his hand and practically crushing it when I felt the "slight zings" go into my back. 

Why don't they just say it how it is.  "Slight Zing" is just a mockery.  Instead of, "here comes a little pressure," how about, "OK, I am now going to stab a big, fat needle into your spine, and you are going to feel like you are being tazered and stabbed. I am going to repeat this a few times."  "oh, and please don't move during this."  Geesh.   It was a grand old time feeling stabs, zings, and hard contractions while holding still.  But wow, it is sooooo worth it!  5 minutes of pain, to spare me hours of it later.  I'll take it.

Once the epidural was finally put in place, the anesthesiologist told me to tell him if my ears started ringing.  As if on queue, my ears starting ringing, and everyone started sounding really far away.  Then, I just wanted to go to sleep, right then.
I ended up having to have Ben and a nurse holding me up, while getting oxygen, and watching my blood pressure drop.  I am not exactly sure where I was, but it felt like I was floating away to somewhere nice. That was fun.  I came back though.
And yes, it happened twice.  Apparently, fainting, or almost fainting, can happen sometimes as the body reacts to the epidural.  Nice. There is a first for everything.

Once my bp was back up, my face had color again, I was completely numb from my belly to my toes, and the oxygen mask was put away, and Ben's hand was thoroughly crushed, I was tired.  I just wanted to sleep.

I got all cozy and ready to rest, when the nurse announced that it would be a good time to put in that second IV.  I felt like a human pin cushion, but it was nice to know that safety measures were being taken with the IV's.  After the epidural needle, this was nothing anyway.

Finally, Ben and I were able to rest.  I don't take this option to have a pain free labor for granted.  I feel blessed that live in a day where we can now choose if we want to feel the pain or not.

   For me, I enjoy my labors and births a lot more when I am not in pain, and can focus more on the joy of the occasion.  Others feel closer when they experience the pain and go natural.  To each their own.  No one gets a bigger or smaller reward depending on how they gave birth.  We all get the best gift of all in the end, a baby.  It is all amazing.

Anyway, as I was resting, the nurse checked me around 12:30, and I was at a 7.  I was very surprised!  That is fast for me.  She told me to keep resting, and that it may be time to push in a couple hours.  I laid back down, and Ben was just hanging out.  He is a good guy, and I love that he has been here with me through the births of our babies.

I was in and out of sleep, when I felt the baby shift a little.  She had been all on one side, and I remember feeling some relief that the pressure wasn't there anymore.  I just figured she had rolled a little.  I glanced over at Ben, and noticed that he had just laid down.  I was glad he was resting.  Then for some reason I looked at the clock.  It was about 5min after 1:00.  I glanced out the window.  The storm was raging, and it was my favorite, thunder and lightening.  It made me feel so comfortable and snug in our little room.  I closed my eyes, and began to doze.

Just a few minutes later, Robyn, my nurse, came in.  She said that the heart rate monitor had stopped picking up the baby's heart rate, so she needed to move it.  She lifted up the blanket that was on me, and her eyes became huge.  She got a very panicked look on her face, and then hurriedly and sharply  said, "oh my gosh!  There's a baby."

She then ran into the hall and yelled "code blue!"

Ben shot up off the couch he was resting on, my eyes flew open, and my heart literally froze.  If there was a baby in the bed, why was it silent, and how long had she been there?  I started repeatedly asking Ben why the baby wasn't crying, and I refused to look.  I couldn't catch my breath, and I started going in to shock. Ben wasn't looking either and was holding my hand saying, "I don't know."   It felt like an hour, but honestly it was probably 10 seconds, before the nurse came rushing back in, with the charge nurse coming after her.

With a shaky voice, near hysteria, I asked Robyn why the baby wasn't crying.  I still hadn't looked.  She quickly looked up at me and said, "It's ok, only the head is completely out, she is still attached to the cord and placenta, and doesn't need to cry yet."  The baby's head was out and face down on the bed. I still was not comforted. Robyn told me to do one small push.  I did, and the rest of our baby was delivered.

A few nerve wracking seconds later, I heard a small cry, that slowly got louder, and I literally let out a huge, shaky,  sigh of what was beyond relief.  Robyn immediately put our little girl on my chest.  She didn't put a blanket around her, cut the cord, or do anything.  She just put her right on me. 

Quick as a flash, our baby grabbed my finger and shoved it into her mouth.  The poor little thing had low blood sugar and was starving...because she was living off my diet, and my sugar was low at that point, and I was starving too.  I could completely relate, and was very amused by this thing we already had in common, and had been battling together for months now.

At some point during all of this, the charge nurse called the baby a "he."  I asked the nurse if our baby was a boy, and they both said they hadn't had time to look yet.  I panicked again.

I was in complete shock.  We all were.  Less than 5 minutes ago, Ben and I were sleeping, and the nurses were at the station or doing their rounds.  Now, I was here holding my baby, that could possibly be a boy!  Finally, the nurse checked, and our little girl, was still our little girl.  Few!

A few minutes later Doctor Sabella, my OB, came rushing in.  She looked upset, but in retrospect, I know she was just very, very worried and shocked like the rest of us.  She had been in the middle of lunch, just waiting for the call in a couple of hours to come deliver our baby.  No one could have imagined I would go from a 7 to delivering our baby in 30 minutes.

She asked us what time the baby was born, and we all just kind of looked at each other.  We really didn't know exactly.  We assumed that the "shift" I felt was probably when her head was delivered, and luckily, Robyn came in about 5 minutes after that, discovered the baby's head was out,  and delivered the rest of her.  We all agreed that it was probably around 1:11pm. 

She asked the nurse a lot of questions on what happened, and Robyn did a great job explaining that the baby literally just came without anyone knowing.  The nurses had been watching my monitors at the station, and everything was perfectly normal.  Nothing at all indicated that the baby was ready to be born. Normally, there is a spike in the heart rate or contractions, but nothing had changed at all.

Robyn had done everything right, and had delivered our baby.  I prayed numerous times that afternoon and evening thanking God that Robyn was there. Dr. Sabella was happy with her, and let her know that, she was just very concerned.  It was a very, very big blessing that I didn't hemorrhage after delivering the baby's head, which was a very real and likely possibility.  No one would have known, before it was a very big disaster for me and the baby.

Dr. Sabella was all business for the next 20 minutes.  The nurse took the baby back, and Dr. Sabella  took extra precaution to make sure I wouldn't hemorrhage, she delivered the placenta (which somehow, in all the shock I was in, I recognized that she had just removed my gestational diabetes along with the placenta, and I mentally saluted it goodbye, ha!), injected me with lots of blood clotting stuff, and spent a lot of time checking every little thing for my safety, and for the baby.

 In the main time, it all began to soak in to everyone else.  The nurses were able to start chuckling about it, and even commenting and joking on the full moon, and the storm playing a part.  Ben and I were able to smile and realize how crazy it really was, and the feeling in the room became that of a place where a sweet baby was born.

I couldn't really even react.  I was in such shock.  I had literally delivered a baby in my sleep.  All of the terrible scenarios we had somehow avoided kept playing in my mind. I had thought the worst, and then received the best, all in about 5 minutes, and now here she was.  Here we were. 

I tried to soak it all in as I watched Ben cut the cord, and watched the nurses weigh, measure, poke, prod, dress, and take care of our baby.  I watched Ben as it all began to register with him.  I watched the emotion come over him, the look of love and wonder in his eyes.  I saw the tears, and felt his heart absorbing and welcoming our daughter into the world.  My love for him was very profound at that moment.

I, on the other hand, just felt numb.  I wanted so badly to feel it all, to soak it all in, but I just couldn't.  I just couldn't quite get my head around it all. 

Here was this moment we have been waiting for, for over 4 years now.  Here was our sweet baby that I had already known and felt for so long.  Here was the daughter that I have had so many amazing experiences with already. Here was this sweet daughter that had fought such a hard pregnancy with me.  We have already begun our journey, and we know each other. She was finally here, safe in our arms.  It was a very huge moment, but so huge, that I just couldn't quite get it all in. 

Finally, Ben carried our brand new daughter over to me.  She was sleeping peacefully and all swaddled up.  She had just finished chugging 35 mL of formula! 

He asked me what we should name her.  We said each name that we liked, while we gazed at her.  When we said Molly, it fit, and finally, my heart let something in.  It wasn't a huge rush of all of the pent up emotion, but it was a sweet, happy, peaceful feeling that we were holding a piece of heaven.
 Her middle name, Grace, was a given.  There is no way she would be here without the grace of God intervening more times than we can count.  We have been witnesses of this time and time with our sweet daughter, and could never deny it. 

Once she had a name, Ben handed her to me and I held our sweet Molly Grace in my arms.  My heart melted.

Our family is complete.  Our angel is finally here.

Molly Grace Maynard

Born 9.9.2014
7.5 ounces
21 inches
Delivered by Robyn, RN
1:11pm


Side note:  Word spreads fast, and Molly's delivery story has been an entertaining one going through this small hospital.  Every doctor, employee, food delivery person, pediatrician, OB, records person, and so on, asks if this is the baby that was delivered in my sleep.  We were famous for a moment.  Although, now the baby being born in the car at the stoplight right here, has taken front page.  Gotta love that full moon and a stormy night!

musings of the last day

Well, since the last post, we have had an interesting turn of events concerning our baby, and when and how she will come.

Yesterday, Sunday, I left my phone in my purse in the car all day, and didn't realize it until about 10:00pm.

When I got my phone, I had a bunch of missed calls and messages from various people. Most of which were friends and family asking if the baby was here.  :)   I have good people in my life.
 One message and call, was from my OB, Dr. Sabella.

I found it odd that she would call me on a Sunday afternoon, obviously not normal business hours, so I checked her message.

She informed me that there may have been some confusion about the induction I had cancelled, and  if I wanted, she could do an induction for me Tuesday morning...tomorrow.

A lot of my turmoil about being induced this time around, has been because Dr. Sabella was not going to be the one doing it.  It was scheduled with another doctor.  Dr. Sabella was not going to be available at all for the next 2 weeks. 

I also have just really, really, really wanted to experience going in to labor on my own.  For some reason, I have deeply wanted to have this experience with my baby, and my body...just once. It has been a really big deal to me.

The message from doctor Sabella last night, really jolted me, and threw me off guard.  It put us right back in the position of choosing between induction or not.  This time, with the induction being with my doctor, which has felt pretty important to us, and played a big role in our decision before.

I decided to wait until I called her this morning, and talked to her, before making any kind of decision last night.

I ended up in false labor the entire night, and did not get any sleep until 4:00 this morning.  The contractions were hard enough to keep me up, but not close enough to go to the hospital. The kids were up at 6:30.  Two and a half hours of sleep for me.  Rock on.

I talked to Katrina, doctor Sabella's nurse this morning, and there had been a mix up.  Somehow Dr. Sabella thought that I had transferred my care over to another doctor, therefore, she had scheduled my induction for yesterday with the other doctor.  She could have done it all along, but thought I didn't want her. 

Somehow, on Sunday, she realized there may have been a mix up (after me cancelling that induction), and called to double check, and to offer to do the induction herself.  The catch is that she leaves Wednesday, and will be gone for the entire next week.  Without the induction tomorrow, I have no chance of delivering with her.  She also wanted me to know, that with gestational diabetes, it is recommended not to go the full 40 weeks.  I can see why, the past 3 days, my blood sugar numbers have been horrible.

I had to choose between a guarantee of having the doctor we feel so strongly I need to have, and being induced tomorrow, or catering to my desire and strong need to go into labor on my own, and not having her be the delivery doctor.

Yes, I was forced to make a very big decision on 2.5 hours of sleep, being extremely down a frustrated with the false labor, and with the two younger boys being much more energetic, needy and demanding than normal, while also being sore from labor all night.  Combine that with all of the emotions and hormones flooding through me, and it was too much.  I finally broke down a few hours ago into a blubbering, snotty, snorting, crying mess, right in the middle of the garage while trying to get the boys out for a walk.  Enough is enough sometimes. William witnessed this scene, and walked up to me, patted me on the bum (the only place he can reach) and said, "It's ok mom, you are just tired." 

The morning continued to spiral downhill, and I wasn't even able to make it through a prayer for guidance, without being interrupted by crying, fighting, and demands for food, or help.  It felt like the boys were way more demanding and needy than ever.  Interesting how that happens, when I needed to be close to the spirit and making a big decision.  Satan really stinks.  I about lost my mind.  There was absolutely no way for me to pray, receive revelation, or really even try to figure things out, with the way the morning went.

I texted Ben and told him that he needed to pray and get the revelation for us, I wasn't in a position to make a decision or to have the quiet I needed for revelation.  I also was so tired and stressed that I couldn't think straight. I am so grateful for a husband that has the same belief and conviction as I do, and that I can completely trust to receive revelation for me and our family.  That was a really big comfort for me today. Thankfully, Ben received an answer.  It feels right, and I trust him completely.  I know it is what we should do, it is just hard.

We are going to do the induction tomorrow with Doctor Sabella.  It does feel right, and good, I just can't help but be so sad about probably not ever being able to experience going into labor on my own.  I don't know why it has been such a big deal to me, but it has, and I feel really sad about it.  Even though I feel sad, it is very different from feeling that the decision is wrong.  I can feel sad, but still know something is right.  It just makes it hard. 

I am still praying that somehow I can still go into labor on my own tonight, and have doctor Sabella there in the morning.  That would be the perfect scenario, but I also am putting it all I God's hands.  His ways are not always my ways, but it is the better way.  He has carried this pregnancy through to this point, and I know without any doubt, that it is only through His grace that our baby has made it through these past 10 months.  Why should I not trust Him now, with the delivery.

So, I guess this is my last day being pregnant...ever.  My last day eating the carb starve diet.  My last day ever having a baby in my womb.  My last day feeling the kicking and squirming of life inside of me.  My last day being hot, huge, uncomfortable, and exhausted from it all.  My last day feeling the deep inner joy and sacredness of pregnancy.  It is bitter sweet, and exciting, and sad, and exhausting, and happy, and confusing, all at the same time.

I am extremely grateful for the blessing I have been given to be able to conceive and bear children.  I know it is a gift and a blessing, and I do not take it for granted.  I am humbled by it all.

I can't believe my child bearing days are officially over tomorrow.  It hasn't sunk in yet.  What a surreal day. 

I guess now it is time to clean the house, stock up on my favorite cereals, await the arrival of my awesome mother who is coming tonight, and prep for the long awaited arrival of our precious daughter. 

See you tomorrow sweet girl.

stupor of thought

I have officially reached my original due date today.  I have been given several due dates, as I have had quite a few ultrasounds, and each one shows a different due date.

My original due date was today, September 6th.  It was then changed to September 13th (a week from today) in my second trimester.

Our little girl has had a few phases where she hasn't grown for a few weeks, and therefore, at this point, is about 2 weeks behind in measurements.

She seems to be just fine though, it just messes with the due dates.

Anyway, I scheduled an induction at my last OB appointment.  It was set for Monday, yup, two days from now.  It was not going to be with my doctor, but she is on call until Monday.  Another reason I have really wanted to have our baby this weekend.

The non stress tests this month have all gone well for our baby, my body is more ready than ever (dilated to over a 4 now, baby's head is already engaged, and 90% effaced), and aside from measuring small, all seems to be fine. 

There is a score called the Bishop's Score, that they give you to tell how ready you are to be induced.  It goes from 1-10.  Anything above a 7 is good for being induced.  I am at a 10.

For whatever reason though, from the moment I set up the induction date, I have felt a sense of panic.  I have felt a huge pressure to get her here before the induction day.  I have felt uneasy about the whole thing, and instead of feeling excitement about knowing the exact day our little girl will be here, I have felt dread and worry.

This past week, three times, I had contractions for over 10 hours, 10 minutes apart, and then they stop.  Every time has been through the night.  Each time they leave me upset, frustrated and more panicked as the induction has come closer.

I even resorted to trying Clary Sage Oil, and lavender, which put 2 of my friends into labor last month.  I lathered myself up in it, rubbed it into my feet, rubbed it on the bump, and slept with a towel soaked in it by my pillow.

After soaking myself in this oil, I went on a big walk last night, and did cardio at the gym today for over an hour.

So far, all I have gotten from this, is a huge headache from the nasty smell, a good workout,  a lot of frustration, and a very nasty, oily body.

Today, I finally realized that there is a big chance that our baby was going to make it to induction day.  Something my doctors were almost positive would not happen.  They were so sure she would come this week.  I wasn't as sure as them, but I was hopeful.

I found myself panicking today when thinking of the induction in two days, instead of being excited.

My personality is a perfect fit for induction.  It is planned, I can have the pantry stocked, the house cleaned, the hospital bag ready, babysitters lined up, my mom ready to come.  To me, that gives me so much peace of mind.

This time around, even the worry about an unknown delivery day, possibly scrambling to find sitters in the middle of the night until my mom gets here, a possible messy house, etc., still hasn't made me feel better about getting induced.  In the past, it has been great.  I have no reason really to worry.

Today, after talking with Ben, and after sincere prayer last night, we decided to cancel the induction.

For whatever reason, our little girl needs to come when she comes.  My body and hers need the right timing...God's timing. 

Unless I have the baby by tomorrow night, I will not have my doctor.  This has worried me a lot, because I really trust my doctor, but I trust God more.  He will put the baby and I in good hands.

As I have stressed and worried about the induction, and trying to get her here before that, I have had all sorts of uneasy feelings and stupor of thought.  The scripture about having a stupor of thought when something isn't right has been rolling around in my head.

It was so interesting how, as soon as Ben hung up the phone with labor and delivery, cancelling the induction, I felt a huge sense of relief and peace come over me.

I still would love for our baby girl to come this weekend, today would be great, but I now feel excited and hopeful once again, and I am no longer feeling stressed to make any kind of deadline.

I have never just gone into labor on my own, so I don't know what to expect, especially with my body being this far along already, but I am excited to see what happens and I know that God has his hand in this.  I just really hope that giving birth in the store, or the car, are not in that plan.  :)

I am anxious to see what this next week will bring, and most of all, we are all pacing the floors waiting to get our sweet little girl here safely in our arms.

38 weeks

Today I am 38 weeks pregnant.  I had an OB appointment today as well.

They did another non stress test on baby girl, and she passed with flying colors.  Few!  She is still measuring small, but now they are wondering if she is just short.  Luke was short, so this wouldn't completely surprise me.  I just want her to be healthy, no matter how long or short she is.

The test also picked up my wonderful contractions I have been having on and off all week.  It was nice to see actual proof that I am not just moaning about nothing.  There was no denying the line that would spike up and back down, then back up again. Now, if only the contractions will become consistent and stronger...

I also had the pleasure of the doctor "checking" to see if these contractions are doing any good.  That is always oh so fun.  (please note the sarcasm here)

I hate it when women walk around telling people how dilated their nether parts are, and how progressed they are.  I don't think people really care or appreciate knowing that much info. about just anyone's cervix.

However, this is my blog, and someday I may want to remember this, so skip this is you want to.  I don't blame you at all.
I am 4+  centimeters dilated, and 80-90% effaced.  The baby's head is also already engaged.  That would explain why I have been extremely uncomfortable sitting down for long periods of time lately, and literally have to waddle in the mornings for a while after I wake up.

The good news is that I am more than ready to give birth at any given time...according to the doctor. 

The doctor seemed thrilled to tell me this news, and basically told me that she has not had a patient more ready to give birth than I am right now.

Unfortunately, the bad news, is that I have heard this all before, and have never gone in to labor on my own.  I walked around at a 4 and 80% effaced for two weeks with my last pregnancy, and still had to be induced with full Pitocin before Luke even attempted to come.  Pretty much the same story with the others.  I think I must have a full 5 star hotel in my womb, because my babies cling to it like it's the best thing in the world to be folded 5 times over, smashed in between organs, and getting your head squished over and over and over again with Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks on end.  They literally have to be forced out kicking and screaming.

 The only new thing this time, is that the baby's head is engaged.  With the others, I dilate early, but the baby's head is still high.  This time, baby girl is already very far down. This gives me a little more hope of an end being is sight sooner than later.

We also set up an induction date.  Monday, September 8th will be the big day (10 days from now), unless the miracle of blessed relief comes sooner.

So, there it is.  I have one more OB appointment in a week, they will do another non stress test on the baby, and check my progress again as well.  Dr. Sabella seemed doubtful that I will make it to that appointment still pregnant, and even more doubtful about me making it to the induction date, but I insisted that I will most likely be there.  Let's hope our little girl proves me wrong.

I guess we will see......

37 weeks

So, here I am.  37 weeks today.  Technically, 3 weeks left to go. If I get induced a week early, 2 weeks left to go.  Induction is sounding better every day, for numerous reasons.  Don't judge.

Three weeks sounds like nothing. Sounds like tomorrow huh?  Bahahahaha!  um no, feels like FOREVER to me.  Every single minute feels like an eternity right now.

I cannot wait for the day, hopefully sooner than later, when I am holding my sweet baby girl in my arms, and eating some crazy yummy, warm, gooey, sugary, carb filled treat.  Please, oh please, let it come soon!

32 week appointment

I had another OB appointment today.  Ben is out of town, so I found a sitter, and went on my way.

I saw Dr. Clark again.  The poor guy looked like the living dead.  He has been here 2 weeks now.  He was up until 3:30 in the morning delivering a baby.  He just moved his family of 5 kids, and I'm sure his wife isn't loving his crazy schedule either.  He didn't get a lunch break, so he was literally stuffing his face between seeing patients.  He looked hashed to say the least. 

He was very happy with my blood sugar numbers I gave him.  I have been recording them the past 2 weeks, and have to continue to record them until the baby arrives.  It is a pain, but it does tell a lot.  I was relieved that so far, my placenta is responding well to this horrible diet, and isn't going totally psycho at the moment and forcing me to take medication to control the diabetes.  That can happen though, and I am ready for it.  There is no way to prevent it, it just happens, or it doesn't.  For now though, all is well in gestational diabetes land.

The baby caught back up to where she should be.  FEW!  She didn't grow much in June when I had the flu, and got about 3 weeks behind schedule.  Today, she was right on target, and gave the Doppler machine a swift kick, to let us all know that she is doing fine.

I gained a pound, which is actually a good thing.  I lost too much weight with the flu, and the doctor was hoping I could gain at least a couple pounds back by this appointment.  One pound was progress.
I haven't quite gained 20 pounds yet this pregnancy (I've gained 17) and I am 8 months along today.  Normally I have gained about 30 by now. As long as the baby is fine, I am thrilled with this.  Less weight to have to work off after the pregnancy.  It is probably the ONLY thing I like about this carb starve diet.

The joke is that I will gain all the weight after the delivery, because I will make up for all of the carbs I have been deprived of and stuff my face.  I have a plan I mind to avoid this, but still be able to eat the foods I have been missing for so long now.  It's all about balance and moderation.

Of course, as the end gets closer, I am starting to worry.
What if I really do have placenta acreta?  After all, three doctors thought I had it, one said I didn't.  We are going with his diagnosis.
What if the baby is really a boy?
What if the diabetes is effecting her more than we know, and I have a 12 pounder at birth, or end up with a C-section because she is so big?
What if she is still breech?
What if all of the genetic testing missed something?
What if the flu caused her permanent damage of some sort?
What if, what if what if.

I had planned on asking Dr. Clark all of this, but one look in his saggy red eyes, and I knew it wasn't the time.  He was doing his best, but I could tell he was barely hanging in there.

I only asked him about the placenta acreta, because that would put my life on the line when it is time to deliver, and is very scary to me.  I want to know for sure,  if we should be ready for some very serious complications, a C-section and a hysterectomy.

He told me to tell the doctors and nurses about it when I go into labor, make sure I deliver in Park City not Heber, and they will have to take the necessary precautions.  Other than that, it is too late to do anything. Not very comforting, but oh well. I am putting God in charge of this one.

I will push the doctor harder in a couple weeks with my other concerns.  I would prefer to have one more ultrasound, to ease all of these fears.

Other than that, I am just counting down the days and trying hard to hang in there until we get to meet our sweet baby.  8 more weeks to go.

baby

So, the same day as the flood in the house, I had an OB appointment.

There is a new doctor working in the office, and I was scheduled to see him.  He is not new to the field, just new to this office.

I was not excited about seeing a new doctor, and was scared not to be with the one I have seen all along.  I just wanted to get the appointment over with, and get back to my regular doctor.

From the first few minutes he walked in, I felt a really big sense of comfort around him concerning the rest of this pregnancy.  I got the feeling that Dr. Sabella, the one I have seen up to this point, and the one that has literally saved this pregnancy and baby time and time again, has done what she needed to do for me and our little girl.  I felt like this guy would need to be the one to see it the rest of the way through. It was an interesting twist to my idea of how things would go, and of course very unexpected, but I know in my heart, it is right.

He is extremely educated in gestational diabetes, the one thing that doctor Sabella admittedly doesn't know a ton about.  She is pretty much amazing with everything else.  She is a high risk specialist after all, and worked miracles for us through divine guidance and her own skill and knowledge.

Ironically, gestational diabetes causes the most problems from 30 weeks or any time after.  I was 30 weeks exactly at this appointment.  Time to start really monitoring things in this area.

He measured the baby, and noticed that she was measuring about 3 weeks small.  I also weighed 7 pounds less than my last appointment.  Total weight gain this pregnancy so far...16 pounds.  Amazing what the flu, bronchitis, a sinus infection, and the carb starve diet will do. 

I told him about having the flu, and how severely sick I was for almost an entire month.  He looked into it, and was shocked with how bad off I was.  He was not happy at all that the doctors who cared for me during that time did not contact my OB, and he let them know.  The flu is extremely dangerous for both me and the baby.  And obviously, it did effect us both. 

The baby's heart beat sounded great, but he still had me go in for a non stress test for her.  We did that the following day, and she passed with no problems.

He also is having me log my blood sugar numbers these next few weeks, and is keeping a very close eye on my diabetes, and how it effects both me and baby girl. There is a good chance the baby will need to come a little early because of it all.  As long as she is okay, I don't care if she comes early, I just want her to be healthy and fine.

He talked to me about a plan of action if my numbers go out of control, or if the baby continues to be too small....or ends up being too big, which is extremely common with diabetes.

He was very confident, and sure, and I felt that I was in good hands.

For now, I am just sitting tight, continuing to be very strict with the carb starve diet,  and sending growing vibes to our baby girl.  My appointments are every two weeks now, so I will be back again next week to see how things are going.

I can't believe the last stretch is finally here! Less than 10 weeks to go.

I literally just sit in my bed at night and think about holding my sweet little girl, smelling her new smell, staring at her sweet face, my finger in her closed fist, and eating a GIANT bowl of cereal full of carbs.

third trimester

My facebook post today says it all....

"Well hello third trimester! 
 I am so happy to see you today.
How about we call this pregnancy a truce, and finish this thing out nicely. Short (but safe) and sweet would be great."

  Thank you.