My Reasons

My Reasons

This Is Where It All Begins

This Is Where It All Begins

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Another kind of Endurance

A lot of people would call the kind of running I do "endurance running." And I would agree. There are many others out there, who do much more and much harder endurance running than I do, but either way, it is true to its name. It takes a while to build up enough endurance to run long distances, so sure, I guess that is a good word for it.

BUT

I can think of a lot more reasons why it should be called endurance running. Allow me...

The man on the bike in front of my treadmill is HUGE and his bum crack that is staring me in the face is HUGE as well. But....I endure and keep running.

The dude on the treadmill next to me has been, how do I say this, emanating the rotten egg smell through his gym shorts, for the past 30 minutes. He even stops running, groans, holds his stomach, and then starts running again. I am turning green and shooting him death looks with my eyes, but...I endure and keep running.

I have one mile left, and all of the sudden feel like someone is spraying me with a water bottle! It is so cold that I literally jump. I glance next to me and the lady is cleaning the side of her treadmill, by spraying the bottle of cleaner all over it AND the entire side of my body. She takes no notice of me or the cloud of cleaner she is spraying all over me. As I turn to look at her, she sprayes again and I get a mouthful of green cleaner. I literally have to wipe it off my face! She is clueless and jamming out to her music. Awesome. She finishes spraying whatever part of me was dry at the moment, and leaves. I am now soaked in cleaner and tasting cleaner, But...I endure and keep on running.

While on the treadmill, I smell a burnt car smell. Then, the treadmill in front of me starts blasting out black smoke, right into me! The guy hops off the treadmill, and tries to turn it off. It doesn't turn off. The tread is burning. Employees come running over, the smoke is everywhere, it smells to the high heavens, and after trying to get it to stop for a few minutes, they have to unplug the thing to make it stop. No, I don't know why they didn't do that in the first place. I endure...and keep on running, coming away smelling like a burnt car.

Time to go to the gym, but no gym clothes. They are in the dryer, partially dry. I put on the wet clothes. argh. We are late to the gym, so I am in a rush. We hit every red light on the way there. When we get there, the gym is full. I wait 10 minutes for a treadmill. gggrrr I get on the treadmill with wet clothes. I reach for my headphones, and realize that I forgot them. double gggrrrr
Ben mentions that he has an extra pair in the car. I get off the treadmill and run to the car for the headphones. It is FREEZING cold, and my clothes are wet. When I get back, the treadmills are full again. I get one 5 minutes later with a TV on it (which I don't like) and the TV is bouncing all over (which I hate). I find a show that I actually may watch while I run, and I plug in the headphones. I realize that there is one headphone. The other one broke so Ben ripped it off. Awesome. I put the one headphone in, and begin running. Go figure, the headphone doesn't work. Oh yeah.
But...I endure.
I run in silence, in wet clothes, with a blank, bouncing TV in my face, in a rush, and I get it done.

I am running mile splits, so I run each mile faster than the one before. I notice the guy next to me matching my pace. I go faster, he goes faster. I go even faster, he goes even faster. I slow down, just to bug him, and he follows. At one point, he literally leans over and pokes his head in my way to see my pace. He then bumps his pace up really high, too high to be honest, exaggerates the running motion by blowing hard and VERY loudly through his mouth (shaped like you would when blowing out candles) making his knees go chest high, and with hands in blades, pumping his arms. What the???? Everyone is staring at him. Some are chuckling. He will not look me in the eye however. In fact, he pretends that I don't exist. In the end, he makes a huge show of having a massive leg cramp, begins groaning and stretching big stretches all over his treadmill and then leaves. That was creepy, but.... I endure and keep on running.

My ponytail holder breaks in half, mid-run and shoots across the gym. I am glad I didn't take an eye out, but bummed about my hair all over my face. I tie my headphones around my hair. It works, I look like and idiot, and run in silence, but hey, I endure and keep on running.

The lady on one side of me and the lady on the other are having a very loud conversation "through me," or over my head I guess. They discuss a divorce, boob jobs, their sexual preference, their x friend, their fad diets and diet pills, and their affairs. HELLO!!! I can hear you. I am right here! My music is as loud as it can go, but to no avail. I begin singing hymns to myself, I endure...and keep on running.

The dude next to me is sweating like a fountain! I didn't know it was possible for a human to make that much water out of your pores! His treadmill looks like it has been through the car wash. Instead of a towel, he uses his hand to wipe his face, and then he flicks the sweat off his hand by flapping it in the air. Of course, it is landing on me, time and time again. I want to barf, but...I endure and keep on running, until a new treadmill opens up.

And the stories could go on forever.

This is why I CAN'T WAIT to get outside. Please weather, warm up...PLEASE!

I don't know how much longer I can "endure."

6 comments:

Deanna said...

Please tell me these didn't happen ALL in one day. I would quit enduring at the first one. LOL!

shaina said...

Oh my goodness Becky!! Crazy! Guess I'm not the only one who has things happen to them at the gym. YOu are dedicated, that's for sure!

Katie Ladwig said...

I have always envied those that can go to the gym. I have a treadmill at my house that I just run on, or go outside. After this post I think I will be a little more grateful that all I have to endure is my yellow bedroom wall in front of me.

erin d. said...

You are the woman!

Lisa said...

Oh becks!! Those are horribly hilarious!!! That is true ENDURANCE!!! Way to keep at it!!

MaryAnn said...

You're funny. And I'm totally grossed out now. I'll pray for warm weather for you!