If there are 3 bites of cereal left in the box, don't put it back on the shelf...eat it.
A drop of milk is not enough for anyone, so don't put it back in the fridge.
Backpacks belong in the closet, not on the floor.
Walk 5 more feet to put your scooter away, otherwise, behind the car it gets run over.
"No" does not mean to ask 5 more times in different ways.
Your pants are not a washcloth for dirty fingers. Your hair isn't either.
He who wakes him...takes him!
If the toilet paper roll runs out....replace it. Some of us have to use it every time.
Mom finally sitting down is not a reminder that you are hungry, thirsty, need help, have to show her something right that second, or to start up a tantrum.
Aim for the toilet bowl. And I am not just talking about #1. Enough said.
Was that a booger on the wall?
Rotten apples from the tree do not belong on the trampoline, whether they are bombs or not.
No, Luke does not drink orange juice, and no, he does not like a full cup of it poured on his head.
Chocolate pudding is not a replica of poop to put on your fingers and chase your siblings with.
Rocks in the the dryer do not speed up the drying process.
It may look like it, but the house is not a giant jungle gym. Even if I do applaud your use of imagination and crazy dexterity.
The guinea pigs only eat fruit and vegies. Fruit snacks are not really fruit.
Marker does not come off walls, furniture, or Luke.
How about you make your weed, mud, bug and spider stew on the neighbors driveway next time.
Window and backboard and two totally different things.
Yes, you must wash your soccer socks after EVERY game.
Only the truly brave will put their hands between the couch cushions to find something. Like maybe your hot dog from last week.
Did I miss the memo about the louder the burp the cooler you are?
Walmart is not the place for hide and seek. The "Seeker" can get really freaked out. And yes, inside the toilet paper isle is a great place for a hideout, just don't jump out and almost scare an old man so badly that he farts dust next time.
Shoes are not just a fun decoration on the shoe rack, people actually do wear them.
Who the heck invented Legos. Somebody find them and kiss them for me please. Same goes for the Mr. Clean magic eraser.
Santa is real. Zombies are not. The Toothfairy is real. Vampires are not. The Easter Bunny is real. Blood sucking ants, with swords for legs, the size of our house, are not. And yes, superman, batman, and spiderman are real. Dad is all three.
Oh yeah, and your momma loves you.