I had my 19 week ultrasound today.
I must say, that I always go into these things a bit nervous. I am not sure why, I just do.
Today was no different. I just felt that we were going to have a bit of a shock this time. Actually, I somehow knew we would. I was just praying that the shock would be something I could hadle. Something that I already know is going on, but just may be confirmed. Like the placenta being low.
Well, it is something I can handle, and for that I am so grateful.
Our girl is actually a boy.
Yup...it's a boy. And oh boy, is it ever a boy. He was not shy at all!
To say we were shocked would be an understatement. One month ago, in that room, we were staring right in between the legs of our 14 week old baby in womb, and there was nothing there. Nothing at all. In fact, the tech was pretty dang sure it was a girl. Sure enough, to tell us that she would tell people it was a girl if it was her baby.
So we did tell people. And including those people, we told Mary. We told her with a huge MAYBE, and I am so glad we did that. She knew that today there would be a tiny chance that her new sister could be a brother.
Regardless, when we told her today (and we tried to make it very happy and positive), her reaction broke my heart into a million pieces. She tried to be so tough and to even giggle about the mix up, and to hide the tears, but the tears came, and then came some more. It was VERY VERY sad. I can completely relate, as I have been in her shoes before. Oh man, it was so sad to see her so sad. I actually can't type about it anymore.
We had a good talk, a good cry, and a good hug, and now she seems fine. What a hard thing for a 7 year old to understand, and for a momma to try to explain.
Our little boy is healthy, growing at the right pace, adorable, has a pug face like the others, and will be very loved and adored in our family. We are more than happy to have him and we can't wait to meet him. My placenta is still low, but not scary anymore, and there is no longer the threat of a c-section or previa at this point. Hooray!
I was shocked and I have had to make a complete change in my mind, but after watching him suck his thumb, yawn, kick, and wave, he grabbed my heart and wrapped his spirit around it. I am in love with my precious son, and there is no turning back.
p.s. Last reminder. The blog will go private tomorrow or the next day. If you haven't give me your email and you would like to still view the blog, please get it to me. This includes family members. Thanks!