Ready or Not

Ready

Cut me some slack. This picture was taken today,(June 3rd) after a full day of contractions, a Dr. appointment, and 45 minutes at the gym (to try to keep things moving along). If I look exhausted and a little looney, it is because I am.

Or not:


Ready:
Contractions started this morning at 9:00am. Every five minutes for four solid hours. Very intense contractions. This is the 4th time this has happened in 2 1/2 weeks. Today was the most intense and painful by far though. Today, it has been true labor.

Or not:
Contractions started dying down today by around 2:00pm. I almost cried. They have not totally stopped though. In fact, I just had one. hooray for me

Ready:
Went to doc. appointment where he announced that I am at a 3.5 and 70% effaced. He said I was ready to go and that if baby doesn't come tonight, he will help with pitocin tomorrow morning at 7:30am

Or not:
I REALLY wanted to have baby on my own without pitocin, but I am SICK of these contractions, not to mention I am completely exhausted and I haven't even been to the hospital yet. The night is still young and he could still easily come if these contractions (coming every 25 min.) pick up again, but at the same time, sleep sounds wonderful.

Ready:
The bag is packed. The kids are all lined up with sitters. The car seat is ready to go. I painted my toenails. I am having all sorts of contractions and pain that I am very ready to be done with. House is clean. Family is notified. Moms both have plane tickets.

Or not:
The memory card to the video camera is full, so Ben gets to go to Walmart tomorrow morning (early) and get a new one. We don't have time to download everything on the computer. We planned on doing that this weekend. oops

Speaking of Ben:
Ben has been amazing these past few days. He hasn't complained about my grumpies, or having to miss work for false labor, or having to entertain kids while I lie on the bed in complete exhaustion from hours of contractions. He has been nothing but loving and supportive. He even set up all of the babysitting! What a man. I am a VERY lucky girl. Love you Ben!

Ready:
Ready to be done being tired, fat, uncomfortable, anxious and hot

Or not:
Too bad I will still be all of the above once all is said and done. Crap.

Ready:
The bottle warmer is all set up. Bottles are ready to go. Night time feeding areas are ready to go. (for various reasons, I am not able to nurse...don't judge me please)

Or not:
I am not fond of waking up every 2.5 hours to feed the baby. Some mothers love this bonding time, I struggle with it. Sleep deprivation does not do anything good for me. I bond better when I am awake and holding and smooching on my precious child during the day.

Ready:
I can't wait to see Mary and Sam with their new baby brother. They are so excited.

Or not:
Three kids! Holy Moly!

Ready:
to see my baby
to have such a neat experience with my wonderful and loving husband
Cranberry Juice at my request
Nubane..LOVE IT!
The experience of giving birth
The first cry
Dr. Weary will be there!
to see Ben hold his newborn son, there isn't much that touches me more.
Pictures

Or not:
I.V.- I would rather break my fingers
Hospital Food
Hospital Gown (or should I say "bum in the wind")
Being "checked" every 1/2 hour
I.V.
afterbirth contractions
afterbirth everything
I.V.
and, oh yeah...I.V.


Ready:
Excited
Hopeful
Eager
Humbled
Thankful
Reflective
Thoughtful
Happy

Or not:
Nervous
Anxious
Scared
Tired
Sore
Worried
Restless


Ready:
To have such a special gift on such a meaningful day. I find it as absolutely no coincidence that this is all coming down on June 4th. Last year at this very time I was having contractions for another reason. I had lost my baby and it was leaving my body. I spent my Birthday in the hospital, with the same doctor, but under very horrible circumstances. Everything that could have gone wrong did, and I spent most of the day unconscious, scared or sad.
This year, I will again be in the hospital on my Birthday, but what a celebration it will be! I never in my wildest dreams, last year at this time, would have thought this would be happening exactly one year later. It was not planned, we did not try for it, and it was such a special suprise when the due date was announced to be June 4th. We couldn't believe it! We have known all along that this was no fluke. We knew that the odds would be slim that the baby would actually come on June 4th, but here we are. I am pretty much in labor, and the doc. has decided to keep it going tomorrow, if the baby doesn't come sooner. The timing has been amazing. It has been a very special and humbling gift from our Heavenly Father. My heart is very full.

So, ready or not, here we go.