Controllables

There are things in life we can control and things we can't.
So simply put, so hard to learn.

I admit, I can be one of those people that is all stressed out, and I have brought it all on myself. It can come from being too picky, analyzing too much, saying yes to too many things, worrying, ect.

I have realized though, that the majority of the things that have stressed me out lately, have been completely and totally out of my control. They have been out of anyone's control. And believe it or not, even though the events are stressful, it does feel good to know it happened TO me and not BECAUSE OF me.

What am I talking about you say???? I bet you can all guess. Go ahead.

Yup...I am talking about our wonderful luck with health.

Honestly, I believe it all comes down to one thing. My immune system was totally and completely slammed when I lost so much blood this summer. I also got mono (true blue mono...blood tested and everything) soon after, which blasted away whatever was left of my immune system for the next few months.
As a result, for the past 6 or so months, I have been a walking target wherever I go. A germ magnet really. If someone within 5 miles of me is sick with something, you better believe, it will come running to me.

For example...I didn't see the swine flu issue as something to run and hide from. I did all of the necessary precautions, but I figured I would get it, I did, it was just as bad as they all said it would be, and I dealt with it. And that is how it has been.

My friend posted the other day that she had mastitis, and I seriously figured for a while there that I would end up with it in the next few days. hhmmmm

I could become a species of my own with this interesting body of mine lately.

My trashed immune system is really the only explanation to all of the illness that has come my way. And at times, I end up spreading whatever fun bug I catch to the family. That would explain why they have had so many things as well. (aside from Ben's kidney surgery and his knee injury...but that is for another day)

I have a good feeling that this will not last much longer. I can feel the cloud lifting. I have more energy and I just feel stronger. I have also felt the quiet whisperings of the spirit letting me know that my time with this is about over.

This week ended up with 5 doctor visits and two more for next week. I am sooooo grateful that we have awesome insurance.

This week....
3 cases of pink eye/sinus infections/nasty coughs (me, Mary, Sam)
one possible hernia from surgery (Ben)
one gallbladder ultrasound (yours truly)
one gallbladder appointment (me again)
one strep test (uh yeah, that would be me)


next week...
another gallbladder appointment with a general surgeon (guess who)
physicals and immunizations for both kids

But you know what, believe it or not, I am fine. Truly. I can't control those things, and they haven't gotten me down. I didn't ask for any of this to happen. We didn't ask for any of this to happen. Do we like it...no. But, there isn't much we can do about it except for choose how we will handle it.

I have decided to focus on what I can control, and I have actually had a lot of fun doing it. All in all, we had a really fun week together as a family. We have learned to deal, and we have learned to deal with our chins up. It has been a rough lesson learned, but a good lesson learned. Priceless really.

Things I can control....and that I did this week.

Went over all of my home decor ideas for the kids rooms (o.k. for the whole house, but I focused more on the kids rooms), and came up with an ADORABLE plan for both rooms. The boys room is going to be so cool and it will be very classic and very boy.

Mary's room is going to be just like her. Timeless and beautiful..with some personality and spunk mixed in. I purchased the first few things to get started today. This topic gets me so excited I can hardly stand it!

Ben and I both had day dates with our kids.
Ben took Mary skiing and I stayed here with Sam.
We made it a special day for both kids and we all had a lot of fun.

I went back to the gym.
I have been out of the gym due to our trip, and so much pain from my gallbladder, but I decided to just do what I can.
The endorphins have had a wonderful effect, and I ended up going three times this week. It is addicting and it feels great. I hope to continue going up until I deliver the baby. I think it will help in all areas.

I read both of the Hunger Games books, and am currently hunting down other series. I love to read, and it was so fun to get into another world for a while. Thanks Adri.

Took the kids to the park. It is almost impossible not to be happy with the weather we have been experiencing here. It was refreshing for all of us to walk to the park in the sunshine and to run around and play outside. Everyone had grins plastered to our faces. The 56 degree weather has been a gift of spring in January. Love it!

I have made a list of things I like to do, things that I want to work on, projects I want to learn how to do, and future goals. I made another list of things to do with the kids and with Ben.

Whenever I get sick, or get down, I go to my list and pick something.
It feels good to do something I can control and to forget about what I can't. It makes me feel like I have control and that I am above the pain and the frustration.

It has made for happier days and lighter spirits.
It made for a good week.
I feel very blessed.