(it is too late at night for me to blare the song that is playing on our blog, so do it for me. It is a great song and kind of shows my feelings right now)
O.K. this will be my last picture-less post, and hopefully my last post written out of pure frustration.
I already know I am being a big baby about this whole thing, and things could be way worse, yadda yadda yadda, but you know what...life pretty much sucks right now.
I NEED A BREAK..mentally and physically!
Ben is doing everything he can to try to help me with my double duty load since he has been hurt, and I am so grateful for that. But this load gets heavier every day, and my nerves get shorter every day...and Sam gets fussier every day. (good thing he is so stinkin' cute and gives me lots of kisses)
Tonight for instance...I tried so hard to do something for me and get in a little break. All I wanted to do was to get Sam to sleep and to stop whining in my face every 5 seconds, drink some hot chocolate, watch Lost with Ben, and not have to get up off the couch the rest of the night.
Well, Sam and Mary ended up whining right as I sat down, I ended up trying to help Mary while Sam dumped my hot chocolate I hadn't even tasted yet all over his head and ALL over the kitchen floor and cabinets. He proceeded to scream while Mary whined that she wanted to watch the show. Ben was stuck on the couch icing his knee with a look of "I want to help you right now, but I can't." The evening ended with me storming up the stairs with Sam, cleaning him off, changing him and spending the next 45 minutes getting him to bed. Mary fell asleep sad because she didn't get to watch Lost,(major guilt), Ben fell alseep on the couch waiting for me to come back down (more guilt), and now the house is finally quiet, I finally have some peace, and I am too exhausted and upset to even care. No hot chocolate, no Lost, and no time to relax and unwind. This pattern seems to be happening way too much lately (minus the hot chocolate and Lost). Seems like right when there is a chance for a break, something happens, and I am back on my feet again. AAGGGHHH!!! The hot chocolate is probably now hardening all over our wood floor in the midst of the messy kitchen and living room I have already cleaned 10 times today but is still cluttered and messy. Can't wait to wake up and clean it.
I don't want anyone to think that Ben isn't doing his best to help me though. He really is doing all he can, and I really am grateful for all he is doing. I am just being a big baby and can't seem to get my act together. Ben came home this afternoon, so I could go visiting teaching without dragging the kids all over with me. I LOVED my hour of peace. He is amazing. I almost wish he was just sick with something that would be gone in a few days (not that I want him to be sick). This could last for a long time...especially if surgery is in the future. I need to find a way to deal. If he does end up needing surgery, I really need to figure this out, so I can be better when that rolls around. Maybe this is my pre-test. Yikes, I am pretty much failing.
It has always been hard on me to live away from home, but times like this make me literally feel sick because I miss home so much. I would LOVE to have a day or two to just shop with my mom and sister (and get some clothes that are in style), go out to lunch and enjoy it, watch a movie without interruptions, sit by the bonfire and tell all sorts of funny family stories that we have all heard a million times, but still laugh at, talk out all of the frustration, let someone else cook dinner, and just get back on my feet again. Sometimes, family can somehow make things feel so much better.
For now, I am in real life, family is 100's of miles away and we can't go there, and they can't come here, and I need to deal with it. Ben needs me and I need to be there for him. He doesn't deserve a basket case for a wife in the time he needs me most. (here I am complaining, while Ben is the one down there with the torn up knee) The kids need a mother, and a happy one, Sam needs to be held...a lot, the house won't clean itself, the dinner won't make itself, and a maid won't magically appear at our doorstep, so I guess I just need to put my chin up and throw my mental break downs in the hands of God. My family needs and deserves a stronger wife/mother right now, so hopefully this vent will pull out the weakness and leave room for strength to overcome. Tomorrow is a new day...and hopefully a better one. Good night.
This Is Where It All Begins
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
It didn't end there.....
I guess if we thought the hurt knee was going to be the worst of it, we were sooo wrong.
Ben's knee is still really painful and swollen and now turning all sorts of colors, so no Dr. visit yet. We have to wait for the swelling to go down. We are now more sure he tore/ruptured the meniscus. Yesterday morning, after I spent the night getting up 3 times with Sam and several times with the dog (yeah, I know..the dog), Ben woke me up saying he couldn't open his eyes and he needed me to text his manager and tell her he wouldn't be to work.
Come to find out, he slept with his contacts in, which usually isn't a big deal. For some odd reason, they totally burnt, or irritated, or did something major to his eyes. The pain was so severe that he couldn't even open them. We spend the day yesterday with the lights off, blinds closed and Ben kept his sunglasses on.
So now, he can't walk and can't see. Did I mention that 6 of his toes are black from the frostbite he got a while back (the reason for the new ski boots). Add that to the list. He is in pain all over. Poor guy. His eyes are slowly getting better today, but they still aren't totally healed. He is not sure if he will be able to drive to work, because of the brightness of the sun and the snow. Too painful. Ben is so healthy and normally avoids a lot of stuff like this. It is just so crazy that it all hit at once.
The past 5 days have been pretty trying for our family. It has just been kind of weird around here. No good way to explain it. Just difficult. I am struggling and yearning for some sort of a break, and Ben is in so much pain and aggravation, that he can't really be here mentally or physically (can't say I blame him at all).
Sam has been a nightmare. He has been waking up at night and bawling all day unless I am holding him. For those of you who have been through it, you know how trying that can be..day after day after day. Sam also woke up at 3:00am last night COVERED in blood. He has been having bloody noses a lot lately, but this one was nasty. His ENTIRE face was covered in dried blood. I mean literally covered. I couldn't see his skin. His ears, hair and neck were also soaked. His hands had it all over them too. So, Sam got a nice little sponge bath at 3:00 this morning. Fun times!
Things could be WAY worse, and we know that. I has just been a really weird, kind of rough for us this week. I think we could use a vacation, or at least some miracle to heal Ben and some sort of break for me to pull myself together.
For now, we will just keep living and going through the motions until life feels like life again. It will pass, it always does. The end.
Ben's knee is still really painful and swollen and now turning all sorts of colors, so no Dr. visit yet. We have to wait for the swelling to go down. We are now more sure he tore/ruptured the meniscus. Yesterday morning, after I spent the night getting up 3 times with Sam and several times with the dog (yeah, I know..the dog), Ben woke me up saying he couldn't open his eyes and he needed me to text his manager and tell her he wouldn't be to work.
Come to find out, he slept with his contacts in, which usually isn't a big deal. For some odd reason, they totally burnt, or irritated, or did something major to his eyes. The pain was so severe that he couldn't even open them. We spend the day yesterday with the lights off, blinds closed and Ben kept his sunglasses on.
So now, he can't walk and can't see. Did I mention that 6 of his toes are black from the frostbite he got a while back (the reason for the new ski boots). Add that to the list. He is in pain all over. Poor guy. His eyes are slowly getting better today, but they still aren't totally healed. He is not sure if he will be able to drive to work, because of the brightness of the sun and the snow. Too painful. Ben is so healthy and normally avoids a lot of stuff like this. It is just so crazy that it all hit at once.
The past 5 days have been pretty trying for our family. It has just been kind of weird around here. No good way to explain it. Just difficult. I am struggling and yearning for some sort of a break, and Ben is in so much pain and aggravation, that he can't really be here mentally or physically (can't say I blame him at all).
Sam has been a nightmare. He has been waking up at night and bawling all day unless I am holding him. For those of you who have been through it, you know how trying that can be..day after day after day. Sam also woke up at 3:00am last night COVERED in blood. He has been having bloody noses a lot lately, but this one was nasty. His ENTIRE face was covered in dried blood. I mean literally covered. I couldn't see his skin. His ears, hair and neck were also soaked. His hands had it all over them too. So, Sam got a nice little sponge bath at 3:00 this morning. Fun times!
Things could be WAY worse, and we know that. I has just been a really weird, kind of rough for us this week. I think we could use a vacation, or at least some miracle to heal Ben and some sort of break for me to pull myself together.
For now, we will just keep living and going through the motions until life feels like life again. It will pass, it always does. The end.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The crash, the pop, the pain!
Sorry about the lack of pictures lately. I got the camera out and ready to document this particular post, but Ben doesn't really want pictures of it, so I guess you get to read about it all. I don't blame him, sometimes when you don't feel good, the last thing you need is a big fat picture of you on the internet.
So...many of you know that snow skiing is Ben's passion. The word passion doesn't even come close to how he feels about it. Not only does he love it, but he is dang good at it. You should see some of the crazy stuff he has done.
Ben just got some AWESOME new ski boots, he has a great new pair of skis, an awesome new jacket (he looks really hot in it), ect. Not to mention a bunch of free and not so free lift tickets he has been collecting. He has already been a few times this year.
Ben has been MORE than ready for the ski season...and more then excited!!!! We have both been steady gym goers for a long time now, so he is in great shape as well. Ben is ready to hit the slopes!!! Because of school, busy schedules, and lack of funds, Ben has only been able to ski about 5 times in the last 6+ years. big change from going every single weekend, or at least every other weekend, as a little kid and as a teen. It has been a huge deal to him to finally be able to ski a lot during one season.
With that said, Ben headed out with my cousin Warren to hit the slopes at Keystone this last Friday. Wahoo! He had a great first 1/2 the day..then it happened. He hit some little bumps, no big deal. Then he saw a bigger one, so he jumped off it. Again, no big deal. For some reason or another, he landed wrong, and that was that. He smacked his head hard on the ground, and felt a pop in his knee and obviously lots of pain. End of ski day for Ben.
He has been icing, taking Ibproufin, walking with help of a crutch or just a big fat limp, wearing a brace, and elevating it since then, but nonetheless, it is hurt. We are almost sure it is his meniscus and will be visiting the doctor when the swelling goes down. We are praying that is it not the ACL. We don't really want surgery in the near future. He also has had some whiplash pain from hitting his head. Pain in his neck and chest. (Ben doesn't ski slow, so he hit really hard)
For now, we are just hoping against all hope that he can recover in good time and be able to hit the slopes again soon. This is his third time blowing his knee out while skiing, and he thinks it is the least serious of the three. (I beg to differ, but I won't burst his bubble)
As for me, I am having all sorts of flashbacks from my sports medicine days in college and my numerous hours of clinical work. It is comforting to know that all of that schooling was not a waste and never will be. I am probably driving Ben crazy, but it has been interesting to look at, research, and guess what is wrong and what will probably happen.
I feel so bad for Ben though. It looks pretty miserable having to hop all around and not be able to get around much. Not to mention, the possibility that it may be a while until he hops back into his skis. Poor soul.
Get well soon Ben!
So...many of you know that snow skiing is Ben's passion. The word passion doesn't even come close to how he feels about it. Not only does he love it, but he is dang good at it. You should see some of the crazy stuff he has done.
Ben just got some AWESOME new ski boots, he has a great new pair of skis, an awesome new jacket (he looks really hot in it), ect. Not to mention a bunch of free and not so free lift tickets he has been collecting. He has already been a few times this year.
Ben has been MORE than ready for the ski season...and more then excited!!!! We have both been steady gym goers for a long time now, so he is in great shape as well. Ben is ready to hit the slopes!!! Because of school, busy schedules, and lack of funds, Ben has only been able to ski about 5 times in the last 6+ years. big change from going every single weekend, or at least every other weekend, as a little kid and as a teen. It has been a huge deal to him to finally be able to ski a lot during one season.
With that said, Ben headed out with my cousin Warren to hit the slopes at Keystone this last Friday. Wahoo! He had a great first 1/2 the day..then it happened. He hit some little bumps, no big deal. Then he saw a bigger one, so he jumped off it. Again, no big deal. For some reason or another, he landed wrong, and that was that. He smacked his head hard on the ground, and felt a pop in his knee and obviously lots of pain. End of ski day for Ben.
He has been icing, taking Ibproufin, walking with help of a crutch or just a big fat limp, wearing a brace, and elevating it since then, but nonetheless, it is hurt. We are almost sure it is his meniscus and will be visiting the doctor when the swelling goes down. We are praying that is it not the ACL. We don't really want surgery in the near future. He also has had some whiplash pain from hitting his head. Pain in his neck and chest. (Ben doesn't ski slow, so he hit really hard)
For now, we are just hoping against all hope that he can recover in good time and be able to hit the slopes again soon. This is his third time blowing his knee out while skiing, and he thinks it is the least serious of the three. (I beg to differ, but I won't burst his bubble)
As for me, I am having all sorts of flashbacks from my sports medicine days in college and my numerous hours of clinical work. It is comforting to know that all of that schooling was not a waste and never will be. I am probably driving Ben crazy, but it has been interesting to look at, research, and guess what is wrong and what will probably happen.
I feel so bad for Ben though. It looks pretty miserable having to hop all around and not be able to get around much. Not to mention, the possibility that it may be a while until he hops back into his skis. Poor soul.
Get well soon Ben!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Life Happens
If you read this post, you HAVE TO turn up the volume. The song playing is perfect for this. It is a bit twangy..but it has a great message and it is really cute.
I just got back from my second wonderful run OUTSIDE in the sun this week. AAAGGGHHH I have only had to run in the gym once this week so far. Yes! Is it really January??? I didn't take my I-Pod this time, and I just thought while I was running. Here are my thoughts during this particular run.
I have always known that life is full of ups and downs, but for some reason or another, I have noticed it more the past few weeks.
Last week had some major downs, and proved to be really really rough for me. The matter is personal, but it was rough. Then the weekend turned out awesome. The weather was gorgeous, church was great, we had a great few days as a family, and the spirit in our home just seemed to be on a high. We were all just walking with lighter steps. It was great! I have to make myself enjoy it though, and not wonder if we are having a great time because something bad is going to happen. (weird fear of mine that I am trying to overcome)
Then Monday rolled around. The day I dread, because Ben is gone until 10:00pm. I survived Monday pretty well though. I was actually grateful that Ben got off work early and was able to join us for an hour in a fun FHE with a bunch of friends before heading off to class.
Then Tuesday came. Holy Moly was it a horrible day!! I was soooo grouchy all day long. The worst part was, I had no reason to be. UG! Just one of those days when the kids are hard, Sam cried and wanted to be held all day, the house is dirty, the laundry is piling up, groceries to get, ect. It was just a stinky stinky day. The day ended well though, thanks to Jacquie. She watched the kids, while I ran outside in the GORGEOUS 65+ degree weather. It was heavenly!
Wednesday was one of the BEST days I have had in a really really long time. Not that all days are bad, not even close, it was just that this one was really great!
I just woke up happy, and so did the kids. I attribute it to the prayer I said the night before, practically begging for a better day tomorrow. It was a GORGEOUS day and we had a great time at play group with friends and lots of warm sun. I love my friends. I dropped Mary off at school and was able to have a fun mid-day date with my hunny. We went out to lunch. I love being able to see him mid-day. It makes the day go faster. After that, me and the kids were able to get in a 2 hour nap!!! Miracle..especially because Mary hasn't napped in almost 6 months! After the nap, Ben got home, we had dinner and then I took off for a girl's night out at DQ. It was so great! I had a killer mint oreo blizzard. So yummy! I almost have to pinch myself every time I am with my friends. It is just amazing to me that I have been so blessed with such amazing women in my life right now. They went to a movie, but I had to come home early to check on Mary (she wasn't feeling too great, but turns out she is just fine). Once I knew she was fine, Ben told me to go out and get a new shirt! Shopping without the kids...he didn't have to ask twice! I found the cutest shirt and hat.I am so excited! I came home to a clean house and kids in PJ's (Ben..you rock!) and then we snuggled in for a night of our favorite show right now....LOST. We watched Lost and munched on the big fat stick of Laffy Taffy I brought home from the store.
Seriously...it was about as perfect of a day as I could have asked for. I am still smiling about it!
The ironic thing is that on the very same day, unknown to me, one of my friends was having a horrible day...I am talking really bad here. And on Tuesday when I was having a horrible day, another one of my friends posted on her blog saying that she was having a great day.
Isn't life so interesting! I am learning to bask in the sweetness of the magical days and to try to let them carry me though the difficult ones. So many people experiencing so many things at the same time. No wonder God has given us family and friends. We can all share the good moments and help with the bad. We are all in this together. Life is quite the journey isn't it!
I just got back from my second wonderful run OUTSIDE in the sun this week. AAAGGGHHH I have only had to run in the gym once this week so far. Yes! Is it really January??? I didn't take my I-Pod this time, and I just thought while I was running. Here are my thoughts during this particular run.
I have always known that life is full of ups and downs, but for some reason or another, I have noticed it more the past few weeks.
Last week had some major downs, and proved to be really really rough for me. The matter is personal, but it was rough. Then the weekend turned out awesome. The weather was gorgeous, church was great, we had a great few days as a family, and the spirit in our home just seemed to be on a high. We were all just walking with lighter steps. It was great! I have to make myself enjoy it though, and not wonder if we are having a great time because something bad is going to happen. (weird fear of mine that I am trying to overcome)
Then Monday rolled around. The day I dread, because Ben is gone until 10:00pm. I survived Monday pretty well though. I was actually grateful that Ben got off work early and was able to join us for an hour in a fun FHE with a bunch of friends before heading off to class.
Then Tuesday came. Holy Moly was it a horrible day!! I was soooo grouchy all day long. The worst part was, I had no reason to be. UG! Just one of those days when the kids are hard, Sam cried and wanted to be held all day, the house is dirty, the laundry is piling up, groceries to get, ect. It was just a stinky stinky day. The day ended well though, thanks to Jacquie. She watched the kids, while I ran outside in the GORGEOUS 65+ degree weather. It was heavenly!
Wednesday was one of the BEST days I have had in a really really long time. Not that all days are bad, not even close, it was just that this one was really great!
I just woke up happy, and so did the kids. I attribute it to the prayer I said the night before, practically begging for a better day tomorrow. It was a GORGEOUS day and we had a great time at play group with friends and lots of warm sun. I love my friends. I dropped Mary off at school and was able to have a fun mid-day date with my hunny. We went out to lunch. I love being able to see him mid-day. It makes the day go faster. After that, me and the kids were able to get in a 2 hour nap!!! Miracle..especially because Mary hasn't napped in almost 6 months! After the nap, Ben got home, we had dinner and then I took off for a girl's night out at DQ. It was so great! I had a killer mint oreo blizzard. So yummy! I almost have to pinch myself every time I am with my friends. It is just amazing to me that I have been so blessed with such amazing women in my life right now. They went to a movie, but I had to come home early to check on Mary (she wasn't feeling too great, but turns out she is just fine). Once I knew she was fine, Ben told me to go out and get a new shirt! Shopping without the kids...he didn't have to ask twice! I found the cutest shirt and hat.I am so excited! I came home to a clean house and kids in PJ's (Ben..you rock!) and then we snuggled in for a night of our favorite show right now....LOST. We watched Lost and munched on the big fat stick of Laffy Taffy I brought home from the store.
Seriously...it was about as perfect of a day as I could have asked for. I am still smiling about it!
The ironic thing is that on the very same day, unknown to me, one of my friends was having a horrible day...I am talking really bad here. And on Tuesday when I was having a horrible day, another one of my friends posted on her blog saying that she was having a great day.
Isn't life so interesting! I am learning to bask in the sweetness of the magical days and to try to let them carry me though the difficult ones. So many people experiencing so many things at the same time. No wonder God has given us family and friends. We can all share the good moments and help with the bad. We are all in this together. Life is quite the journey isn't it!
Monday, January 19, 2009
I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
Before I dig in to a more serious topic...I LOVE THIS WEATHER!! It has been above 60 for a few days, and it is January!!! It is gorgeous here right now. It has been so warm and sunny. We have basically lived outside the past few days. It is great!!! Even better, there is snow on the way this weekend. Sun and snow in one week....who could ask for more. aaaggghhh
O.K., so this Sunday was really neat and really caused me to reflect on my testimony and my personal beliefs. It was ward Conference, so our Stake President spoke as well as the Bishop of our ward. AWESOME talks!!! President Woodward (the Stake President) also spoke to the women in Relief Society. He talked about overcoming discouragment and how to find peace in your heart during rough times. He talked about things a.k.a. "truths" of the Gospel that we can hold on to and find peace and comfort in.
It wasn't so much what he was saying as it was the amazing spirit that was present in the room. I love moments like that, when the spirit is so strong, I feel like I could just reach out and touch it. My heart was burning with the truthfullness of what he was saying. Not just of what he was saying, but the truthfullness of the gospel he was talking about.
As I sat there, I realized over and over again, just how incredibly true and simply wonderful the Gospel is...not just the Gospel..but the FULLNESS of the Gospel that we have as members of this wonderful church. I felt and feel so blessed to be part of something that my whole soul knows is real and true. I thrive in the knowledge that we had a beautiful life with our Father in heaven before we came to this Earth, and I thrive even more in the Plan of Salvation. The sure knowledge of where we came from, why we are here, where we are going, the purpose of this life, ect. The beautiful plan that opens the way for us to live FOREVER and ETERNALLY with our families, our loved ones, our Father in heaven and even our brother and Savior, Jesus Christ. I know, without a doubt, that I will be with my family for eternity...there is no "until death do us part." I am so grateful that Ben and I were able to be married in the temple. The only place where we are able to be sealed to eachother and to our children for "time and all eternity." That knowledge brings me more peace than any thing else I could know or have.
The Gospel brings so much peace to my heart and so much hope to my soul. I could never deny the truthfullness of this amazing Gospel. I am so grateful that I belong to a church that has the fullness of the gospel; the knowledge, the power, the authority given from God, and the way to truly be able to live in the presence of our Savior again.
I am so grateful to have this beautiful knowledge and this testimony burning in my soul.
Aside from my testimony that this Church is true, there are so many other reasons I love this church. I love the programs it has to offer. Relief Society..a chance to be with the women of the church..to laugh, to cry, to share, to serve, to learn and to make everlasting friendships. I love the love that I feel when I walk in the doors and see instant friends sitting there. I love knowing that even though I am away from my family, I have my ward family, and we take care of eachother. It is like instant friends, no matter where you go. I love the Primary where kids can learn and grow in such a loving and fun environment. I love the Young Men and Young Women programs where the youth of the church have so many opportunities to serve, to share and to grow in their faith. I love how there is no pressure to be anyone other than who you are. I love how our church is so accepting of members and non-members alike. Everyone is welcomed with open arms. We are all God's children.
Last week presented some new challenges to our family..well, mainly me. I had to deal with something I have never dealt with before. It was harder than I thought it would be, and I didn't fully understand what was going on. I went for a few days, trying to deal with it on my own. When I finally knelt down in prayer and asked the Lord above to help me, I was surrounded with warmth and love and most importantly, hope. Hope is what I needed most of all, and He knew it, even before I realized it. I have been filled with this hope since then, and the road has seemed a lot shorter and a lot brighter. I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows me and loves me and who wants me to succeed.
I can't wait for the day, when Ben and I can serve a mission and share this beautiful message to all who will hear it. Maybe we can find at least one soul out there who is seeking for the truth and the fullness of this beautiful Gospel. One soul who is ready and waiting for this wonderous message of peace, hope, love and everlasting life.
O.K., so this Sunday was really neat and really caused me to reflect on my testimony and my personal beliefs. It was ward Conference, so our Stake President spoke as well as the Bishop of our ward. AWESOME talks!!! President Woodward (the Stake President) also spoke to the women in Relief Society. He talked about overcoming discouragment and how to find peace in your heart during rough times. He talked about things a.k.a. "truths" of the Gospel that we can hold on to and find peace and comfort in.
It wasn't so much what he was saying as it was the amazing spirit that was present in the room. I love moments like that, when the spirit is so strong, I feel like I could just reach out and touch it. My heart was burning with the truthfullness of what he was saying. Not just of what he was saying, but the truthfullness of the gospel he was talking about.
As I sat there, I realized over and over again, just how incredibly true and simply wonderful the Gospel is...not just the Gospel..but the FULLNESS of the Gospel that we have as members of this wonderful church. I felt and feel so blessed to be part of something that my whole soul knows is real and true. I thrive in the knowledge that we had a beautiful life with our Father in heaven before we came to this Earth, and I thrive even more in the Plan of Salvation. The sure knowledge of where we came from, why we are here, where we are going, the purpose of this life, ect. The beautiful plan that opens the way for us to live FOREVER and ETERNALLY with our families, our loved ones, our Father in heaven and even our brother and Savior, Jesus Christ. I know, without a doubt, that I will be with my family for eternity...there is no "until death do us part." I am so grateful that Ben and I were able to be married in the temple. The only place where we are able to be sealed to eachother and to our children for "time and all eternity." That knowledge brings me more peace than any thing else I could know or have.
The Gospel brings so much peace to my heart and so much hope to my soul. I could never deny the truthfullness of this amazing Gospel. I am so grateful that I belong to a church that has the fullness of the gospel; the knowledge, the power, the authority given from God, and the way to truly be able to live in the presence of our Savior again.
I am so grateful to have this beautiful knowledge and this testimony burning in my soul.
Aside from my testimony that this Church is true, there are so many other reasons I love this church. I love the programs it has to offer. Relief Society..a chance to be with the women of the church..to laugh, to cry, to share, to serve, to learn and to make everlasting friendships. I love the love that I feel when I walk in the doors and see instant friends sitting there. I love knowing that even though I am away from my family, I have my ward family, and we take care of eachother. It is like instant friends, no matter where you go. I love the Primary where kids can learn and grow in such a loving and fun environment. I love the Young Men and Young Women programs where the youth of the church have so many opportunities to serve, to share and to grow in their faith. I love how there is no pressure to be anyone other than who you are. I love how our church is so accepting of members and non-members alike. Everyone is welcomed with open arms. We are all God's children.
Last week presented some new challenges to our family..well, mainly me. I had to deal with something I have never dealt with before. It was harder than I thought it would be, and I didn't fully understand what was going on. I went for a few days, trying to deal with it on my own. When I finally knelt down in prayer and asked the Lord above to help me, I was surrounded with warmth and love and most importantly, hope. Hope is what I needed most of all, and He knew it, even before I realized it. I have been filled with this hope since then, and the road has seemed a lot shorter and a lot brighter. I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows me and loves me and who wants me to succeed.
I can't wait for the day, when Ben and I can serve a mission and share this beautiful message to all who will hear it. Maybe we can find at least one soul out there who is seeking for the truth and the fullness of this beautiful Gospel. One soul who is ready and waiting for this wonderous message of peace, hope, love and everlasting life.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Running...post-marathon life
So, a lot of people have been asking me how post-marathon life has been.
Well, right now Ben is at the gym working out, and he took the kids. There are dishes in the sink and there is laundry waiting to be folded and put away. I am sitting her blogging, eating a KitKat and petting the dog. hhhhmmmm
O.K. so this is an abnormal night, but it still feels so good to just CHILL and not totally freak out that I didn't get to the gym today. (well, maybe I freaked out a little, but I did stay home, and the peace and quiet it so worth it)
I didn't run at all the week after the marathon, and after that it has basically been running 5 miles on the treadmill at the gym 3-4 times a week. I have kept my pace the same. Good ol' 6.5 mph. I am not doing speedwork anymore, and that has been pretty nice. Sometimes after running, I will hop on the bike or the elliptical for a while to get the kinks out.
After training so hard for so long, it is really weird to run without something to look forward to though. I am going to do another marathon, most likely St. George, but not for a while. I am also looking into those mini-triathlons. That way Ben and I could do it together. I just need to learn how to swim for real...no doggy paddling. ;)
My passion will always be running though. Right now, it is a little hairy because of the slick roads. I LOVE LOVE LOVE running outside, and I can do that whether or not I have a goal in mind. I do it because I love it, simple as that. It is the dang treadmill running! BLAH! I stare out a window at the parking lot for almost an hour (that is if the window isn't fogged over with everyones stinky breath) while inhaling everyones body odor and sweat. Not to mention all those guys running next to me that drink protein shakes and fart the whole time. It is not easy to run while holding your breath. It is so gross! I guess if that can't stop me, not much will.
On the up side, the weather has been great the past few days, and if it keeps up, I am grabbing the dog, and we are doing some serious miles OUTSIDE!!!!! Fresh air, feet pounding the pavement, change of scenery, dog next to me, awesome new ipod songs ,aaaahhhh, can you feel it????
Well, right now Ben is at the gym working out, and he took the kids. There are dishes in the sink and there is laundry waiting to be folded and put away. I am sitting her blogging, eating a KitKat and petting the dog. hhhhmmmm
O.K. so this is an abnormal night, but it still feels so good to just CHILL and not totally freak out that I didn't get to the gym today. (well, maybe I freaked out a little, but I did stay home, and the peace and quiet it so worth it)
I didn't run at all the week after the marathon, and after that it has basically been running 5 miles on the treadmill at the gym 3-4 times a week. I have kept my pace the same. Good ol' 6.5 mph. I am not doing speedwork anymore, and that has been pretty nice. Sometimes after running, I will hop on the bike or the elliptical for a while to get the kinks out.
After training so hard for so long, it is really weird to run without something to look forward to though. I am going to do another marathon, most likely St. George, but not for a while. I am also looking into those mini-triathlons. That way Ben and I could do it together. I just need to learn how to swim for real...no doggy paddling. ;)
My passion will always be running though. Right now, it is a little hairy because of the slick roads. I LOVE LOVE LOVE running outside, and I can do that whether or not I have a goal in mind. I do it because I love it, simple as that. It is the dang treadmill running! BLAH! I stare out a window at the parking lot for almost an hour (that is if the window isn't fogged over with everyones stinky breath) while inhaling everyones body odor and sweat. Not to mention all those guys running next to me that drink protein shakes and fart the whole time. It is not easy to run while holding your breath. It is so gross! I guess if that can't stop me, not much will.
On the up side, the weather has been great the past few days, and if it keeps up, I am grabbing the dog, and we are doing some serious miles OUTSIDE!!!!! Fresh air, feet pounding the pavement, change of scenery, dog next to me, awesome new ipod songs ,aaaahhhh, can you feel it????
Monday, January 5, 2009
We're Baaaaack
O.K.....um...where do I start. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, our 5th Anniversary, our rockin' awesome Idaho trip, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, ect. YIKES!!!
I think that is all going to be too much to blog, and too much for you all to read, so I will just summarize. Warning..even the summary is lengthy, but still entertaining...to me anyway.
Christmas Eve....
1. I worked out in the morning while Ben was at work, and was so proud of myself for getting to the gym on Christmas Eve..go me!
2. The evening was spent with great friends and we ate great food. Mike and Mel and Tyler were so nice to let us crash their home and curb the homesickness that always ails me on Christmas Eve. We ate yummy food, had a blast talking and just had a fun time. We have the best neighbors/friends ever! We love hanging out with them. They rock our socks!
3. We came home and we all opened our Christmas Eve gift....new p.j.'s!!! Of course, the kids pajamas match..so cute! That tradition is one of my favorites!
4. We all settled down for a fun Christmas movie until the kiddos fell asleep. Soon after, Santa made his trip to our home.
Christmas Day...
1. My first Christmas EVER sleeping past 6:00am. Weird!
2. We woke up when the kids woke up and had a family prayer to thank the Lord for our Saviour Jesus Christ and all of the many many blessings He has brought into our lives, most importantly, the atonement.
3. After the prayer we let the kids and the dog go down the stairs and soak in all the glory that Santa and the family provided. Mary was so shocked with the sight that she literally froze in place and didn't say a word. It was hilarious. Sam immediately ran to the train table that was sitting out in the room and began playing.
4. We had a wonderful morning full of gifts, love, sugar cereal(very rare) and gratitude for our Savior.
5. In the afternooon, we brought some Christmas gifts to those in need.
6. Then we rented Lost and settled down for an evening of family together time and movies.
It was a wonderful Christmas for the Maynards.
Sam on his favorite Christmas gift
Mary with some stuff Santa brought her.
Dec. 26th, our 5th Anniversary....
1. This year it was Ben's turn to plan..and he did very well!
2. In August, we went on trip to the Bahamas, so we named that our official 5 year Anniversary celebration, but we still had to do something on the actual day..right??
3. We began the day at the gym working out. Rock on!
4. We then rushed home and began taking down all of the Christmas decorations. It was earlier than normal, but we were leaving for a long trip the next day, and our tree was so dry it was a fire hazard for sure.
5. We cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. We then dropped the kids off with some friends (THANK YOU SO MUCH MURDOCKS!!!) and headed out.
6. We went to a movie and then out to dinner to P.F. Changs.
7. Ben gave me the sweetest gift ever in the car. It was very special and cute. We had a lot of fun reminiscing about the past 5 years and talking about the future as well. I love Ben so much and I feel so blessed to be married to such an amazing man. Can't believe it has been 5 years! Wow!
8. We got home late and packed into the night. The next morning we headed out for Boise, Idaho!!!!
Our trip...
1. So, our 12 hour trip turned into a 20 hour trip!!! Not kidding! We left in good time Saturday morning, and planned to get there that evening...man were we in for a surprise! We had 60mph wind gusts in good ol' Wyoming. We saw 6 trucks flipped over on their sides and really messed up from the wind. Then it was on to Utah for some insane white outs and some blizzards. I drove 35-40 mph for about 4 hours. At 2am we pulled into Burley, Idaho and got a motel. They even let us have the dog in our room! Luckily, the kids and the dog traveled GREAT and we didn't really have any problems with crying or whining.
2. We left that morning and headed to Boise. We got there Sunday afternoon.
3. It was so great to be there and see Ben's family. They are so much fun to be with! All of Ben's brothers and their families were there, except for one. It was fun to see everyone again. We were also able to see some of our best friends that we knew in Rexburg. We had a blast visiting with them well into the night. Mary was showing us her gymnastics, so we all decided to try as well. Here is Ben helping Jacob attempt a bridge kick-over. This trick soon became famous on our trip. For some reason everyone just has to try it. So hilarious!!! Jacob...hope your foot is healing.
4. The next few days were full of sledding, eating, talking, shooting, going out to lunch with the girls (my favorite part), and playing hard! It is always so entertaining in the Maynard home. Never a dull moment. I love it! Jolene was such a trooper to have so many people in her home just weeks after surgery. She is amazing and so full of love for everyone.
Mary and Sterling on their treck up the hill
.jpg)
Mary and Sterling LOVING the ride down the hill
Lunch with the girls....aahhh...so refreshing!
The Big Boy's day out.
5. We headed to Pocatello on New Year's Eve. Thankfully, we had great roads and weather. The kids played so hard in Boise that they slept the ENTIRE way to Pocatello. It was great!
6. We had a great time in Pocatello with my family. We really soaked in the moments, because I don't see my family very often. Especially a few of my siblings.
7. We went out to dinner, talked, watched movies, worked out at Gold's Gym (we checked out a membership option for my mom and got 4 free work out days...their treadmills are to die for...it was awesome!), visited with my grandpa, played in the snow, and had an amazing tree burning. Not to mention laughing soooo hard while playing games that I thought my stomach muscles would burst.
New Year's Eve..a little delayed....
1. My family has a tradition of burning the Christmas tree on New Year's Eve, but we waited a few days, so my brother could be there. He was driving in from AZ on his way to moving to Rexburg, Idaho for school. We still stayed up New Year's Eve, well some of us, and watched the ball drop and everything, but the real party was when Tyler and Jessica got here.
2. We all marched through the snow drifts out to the pasture (my parents live in 2 1/2 acres) and had our Roman candles ready to go. My dad had the tree all gassed up along with a bunch of other wood and tree scraps. We all aimed and fired. It was AWESOME!!!! The noise was unbelievable, and Tyler was the lucky person to nail the tree with his fire ball and sent it up in flames. The fire literally roared to life in less than a second. It was so much fun!!!! I love this tradition! Both kids ended up crying because of the noise, but they soon got over it and enjoyed the massive fire as much as we did. After that it was doughnuts and hot chocolate for the pyros and a job well done. Love it!
Headed out on our mission, fully equipped with the necessities.
This is me doing a thumbs up for a job well done. I LOVE FIRE!!!!
Ben doing a headstand in front of the fire
This is my dad talking to the police officer that somehow made his way to us. The picture is dark, so you may not be able to see them talking. The cop was more concerned about the size of the fire than the outstanding noise we made with the roman candles.(which were hidden in Tyler's coat during the "cop interview.") No harm done...I actually think the officer was pretty amused.
Mary totally showed us all up. This is me, Kelsey and Tyler all trying to do a bridge kick-over. Mary makes it look so easy! Kelsey was successful too.
Mario Cart Wii. Bop and Mary did pretty well, not too much whiplash.
Tyler break dancing...one of the more hilarious moments in my life. I was laughing so hard I was crying.
Sam trying on one of the masks Devin has hanging in his room.
Mary trying on a mask as well. I made this mask when I was in grade school. Pretty freaky huh.
Chamonix...
1.He was in dog heaven on this trip. Seriously.
2. He had so many playmates and so much land to run free on. He was as happy as could be.
3. I took him running with me up on the canal. The canal is my old running route that I ran every day when I lived at home. It is the perfect 6 mile run and the view is so pretty. Chamonix loved it and begged the rest of the trip to go again. It was a lot of lot of fun having him on the trip with us.
Chamonix and Champ. They became best friends while we were there. I have never seen Chamonix so happy and excited. They ran around ALL day! No chains, no fences and no harnesses. They were elated to say the least. They even split their garage Hotel (made by my dad) with each other and shared food dishes. Champ howled and cried after we left and Chamonix laid around in a depressed slump the day we left. Poor puppies. They will be together again soon...hopefully.
Back to normal life... So as all good things must do, it all has come to an end. However, I am actually excited to get back into the groove again. It amazes me how living in a place we love can make the transition so much easier when we leave family. In California, I would cry every time we left and mope around for days after we got home. I would be so lonely I would almost go crazy. I would literally, go into the closet and bawl my eyes out. It was truly horrible! My heart would just ache so much.
Now, I feel like we are happy where we are, and I like our little routine. We have great friends and a fun ward. We love our home and feel at home in it. It is so nice to feel like I am home after being home.
Of course, I am always homesick and my heart always aches for family, but it isn't as horrible as it was just less than a year ago. I always have a hope in my heart that someday we will be closer to family and those we love so dearly. For now though, I am striving to be happy where we are and live life to the fullest. I am just so thankful that we obeyed the voice of the Lord and moved our family to such a wonderful place where our hearts can be at peace and our spirits can soar.
I think that is all going to be too much to blog, and too much for you all to read, so I will just summarize. Warning..even the summary is lengthy, but still entertaining...to me anyway.
Christmas Eve....
1. I worked out in the morning while Ben was at work, and was so proud of myself for getting to the gym on Christmas Eve..go me!
2. The evening was spent with great friends and we ate great food. Mike and Mel and Tyler were so nice to let us crash their home and curb the homesickness that always ails me on Christmas Eve. We ate yummy food, had a blast talking and just had a fun time. We have the best neighbors/friends ever! We love hanging out with them. They rock our socks!
3. We came home and we all opened our Christmas Eve gift....new p.j.'s!!! Of course, the kids pajamas match..so cute! That tradition is one of my favorites!
4. We all settled down for a fun Christmas movie until the kiddos fell asleep. Soon after, Santa made his trip to our home.
Christmas Day...
1. My first Christmas EVER sleeping past 6:00am. Weird!
2. We woke up when the kids woke up and had a family prayer to thank the Lord for our Saviour Jesus Christ and all of the many many blessings He has brought into our lives, most importantly, the atonement.
3. After the prayer we let the kids and the dog go down the stairs and soak in all the glory that Santa and the family provided. Mary was so shocked with the sight that she literally froze in place and didn't say a word. It was hilarious. Sam immediately ran to the train table that was sitting out in the room and began playing.
4. We had a wonderful morning full of gifts, love, sugar cereal(very rare) and gratitude for our Savior.
5. In the afternooon, we brought some Christmas gifts to those in need.
6. Then we rented Lost and settled down for an evening of family together time and movies.
It was a wonderful Christmas for the Maynards.
Sam on his favorite Christmas gift
Mary with some stuff Santa brought her.
Dec. 26th, our 5th Anniversary....
1. This year it was Ben's turn to plan..and he did very well!
2. In August, we went on trip to the Bahamas, so we named that our official 5 year Anniversary celebration, but we still had to do something on the actual day..right??
3. We began the day at the gym working out. Rock on!
4. We then rushed home and began taking down all of the Christmas decorations. It was earlier than normal, but we were leaving for a long trip the next day, and our tree was so dry it was a fire hazard for sure.
5. We cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. We then dropped the kids off with some friends (THANK YOU SO MUCH MURDOCKS!!!) and headed out.
6. We went to a movie and then out to dinner to P.F. Changs.
7. Ben gave me the sweetest gift ever in the car. It was very special and cute. We had a lot of fun reminiscing about the past 5 years and talking about the future as well. I love Ben so much and I feel so blessed to be married to such an amazing man. Can't believe it has been 5 years! Wow!
8. We got home late and packed into the night. The next morning we headed out for Boise, Idaho!!!!
Our trip...
1. So, our 12 hour trip turned into a 20 hour trip!!! Not kidding! We left in good time Saturday morning, and planned to get there that evening...man were we in for a surprise! We had 60mph wind gusts in good ol' Wyoming. We saw 6 trucks flipped over on their sides and really messed up from the wind. Then it was on to Utah for some insane white outs and some blizzards. I drove 35-40 mph for about 4 hours. At 2am we pulled into Burley, Idaho and got a motel. They even let us have the dog in our room! Luckily, the kids and the dog traveled GREAT and we didn't really have any problems with crying or whining.
2. We left that morning and headed to Boise. We got there Sunday afternoon.
3. It was so great to be there and see Ben's family. They are so much fun to be with! All of Ben's brothers and their families were there, except for one. It was fun to see everyone again. We were also able to see some of our best friends that we knew in Rexburg. We had a blast visiting with them well into the night. Mary was showing us her gymnastics, so we all decided to try as well. Here is Ben helping Jacob attempt a bridge kick-over. This trick soon became famous on our trip. For some reason everyone just has to try it. So hilarious!!! Jacob...hope your foot is healing.
4. The next few days were full of sledding, eating, talking, shooting, going out to lunch with the girls (my favorite part), and playing hard! It is always so entertaining in the Maynard home. Never a dull moment. I love it! Jolene was such a trooper to have so many people in her home just weeks after surgery. She is amazing and so full of love for everyone.
Mary and Sterling on their treck up the hill
.jpg)
Mary and Sterling LOVING the ride down the hill
Lunch with the girls....aahhh...so refreshing!
The Big Boy's day out.
5. We headed to Pocatello on New Year's Eve. Thankfully, we had great roads and weather. The kids played so hard in Boise that they slept the ENTIRE way to Pocatello. It was great!
6. We had a great time in Pocatello with my family. We really soaked in the moments, because I don't see my family very often. Especially a few of my siblings.
7. We went out to dinner, talked, watched movies, worked out at Gold's Gym (we checked out a membership option for my mom and got 4 free work out days...their treadmills are to die for...it was awesome!), visited with my grandpa, played in the snow, and had an amazing tree burning. Not to mention laughing soooo hard while playing games that I thought my stomach muscles would burst.
New Year's Eve..a little delayed....
1. My family has a tradition of burning the Christmas tree on New Year's Eve, but we waited a few days, so my brother could be there. He was driving in from AZ on his way to moving to Rexburg, Idaho for school. We still stayed up New Year's Eve, well some of us, and watched the ball drop and everything, but the real party was when Tyler and Jessica got here.
2. We all marched through the snow drifts out to the pasture (my parents live in 2 1/2 acres) and had our Roman candles ready to go. My dad had the tree all gassed up along with a bunch of other wood and tree scraps. We all aimed and fired. It was AWESOME!!!! The noise was unbelievable, and Tyler was the lucky person to nail the tree with his fire ball and sent it up in flames. The fire literally roared to life in less than a second. It was so much fun!!!! I love this tradition! Both kids ended up crying because of the noise, but they soon got over it and enjoyed the massive fire as much as we did. After that it was doughnuts and hot chocolate for the pyros and a job well done. Love it!
Headed out on our mission, fully equipped with the necessities.
This is me doing a thumbs up for a job well done. I LOVE FIRE!!!!
Ben doing a headstand in front of the fire
This is my dad talking to the police officer that somehow made his way to us. The picture is dark, so you may not be able to see them talking. The cop was more concerned about the size of the fire than the outstanding noise we made with the roman candles.(which were hidden in Tyler's coat during the "cop interview.") No harm done...I actually think the officer was pretty amused.
Mary totally showed us all up. This is me, Kelsey and Tyler all trying to do a bridge kick-over. Mary makes it look so easy! Kelsey was successful too.
Mario Cart Wii. Bop and Mary did pretty well, not too much whiplash.
Tyler break dancing...one of the more hilarious moments in my life. I was laughing so hard I was crying.
Sam trying on one of the masks Devin has hanging in his room.
Mary trying on a mask as well. I made this mask when I was in grade school. Pretty freaky huh.
Chamonix...
1.He was in dog heaven on this trip. Seriously.
2. He had so many playmates and so much land to run free on. He was as happy as could be.
3. I took him running with me up on the canal. The canal is my old running route that I ran every day when I lived at home. It is the perfect 6 mile run and the view is so pretty. Chamonix loved it and begged the rest of the trip to go again. It was a lot of lot of fun having him on the trip with us.
Chamonix and Champ. They became best friends while we were there. I have never seen Chamonix so happy and excited. They ran around ALL day! No chains, no fences and no harnesses. They were elated to say the least. They even split their garage Hotel (made by my dad) with each other and shared food dishes. Champ howled and cried after we left and Chamonix laid around in a depressed slump the day we left. Poor puppies. They will be together again soon...hopefully.
Back to normal life... So as all good things must do, it all has come to an end. However, I am actually excited to get back into the groove again. It amazes me how living in a place we love can make the transition so much easier when we leave family. In California, I would cry every time we left and mope around for days after we got home. I would be so lonely I would almost go crazy. I would literally, go into the closet and bawl my eyes out. It was truly horrible! My heart would just ache so much.
Now, I feel like we are happy where we are, and I like our little routine. We have great friends and a fun ward. We love our home and feel at home in it. It is so nice to feel like I am home after being home.
Of course, I am always homesick and my heart always aches for family, but it isn't as horrible as it was just less than a year ago. I always have a hope in my heart that someday we will be closer to family and those we love so dearly. For now though, I am striving to be happy where we are and live life to the fullest. I am just so thankful that we obeyed the voice of the Lord and moved our family to such a wonderful place where our hearts can be at peace and our spirits can soar.
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