quarantine life

So, its been a month since Covid-19 has taken over our life, our town, our State, our country and the world.  We live in weird times right now.  School is cancelled.  All sports are cancelled.  All events of any kind are cancelled.  The Olympics was cancelled.  We have to stand 6 feet apart from any person we see.  We cannot leave the state of Utah without filling out a paper and getting our vital signs taken.  NBA was shut down, concerts aren't happening, all local businesses that aren't deemed  absolutely necessary are closed. Tons of people are losing jobs, being laid off, and their businesses are sinking. The economy is a mess.  Restaurants can only do curb side delivery or drive through.  Church is cancelled.  Temples are closed.  Missionaries have been sent home.  No new missionaries are going out.  The world as we know it is in lock-down, and this virus is raging.  Its weird, its scary, its depressing, its hard, its a lot of responsibility on parents, it creates anxiety, it creates fear, and so on.  

Through all of this though, we have done our best, as a family, to stay strong.  The kids have been homeschooling, with assignments from their teachers online.

We do church and the sacrament here at home.  It is actually really nice and sometimes feels more spiritual.

We have a ton of time to just play, hang out, and be together.  

Life has slowed down in necessary and good ways, if we make it that way.  It seems to be a constant choice, every day, for each of us, on how we will handle the day.  Some days are frustrating, depressing, lonely, and hard.

Other days are fun, productive, happy, and well spent.  

There is a fine line, and we are constantly trying to walk it.

That being said, here are some things we have been up to the past month.  In absolutely no particular order, because frankly, day, time and month don't matter at all right now.  

 A few weeks ago, I was having a horrible day.  I was just mad.  I was mad that my kids couldn't go to school.  I was mad that Mary was sad and missing her friends and her cheer.  Molly was missing gymnastics.  My boys were missing soccer and lacrosse.  Ben was stressed about not being able to work.  The weather was crappy, the family was fighting, it was a bad day.  I decided to go for a run.  I ran about three miles, and instead of feeling better, I just got more and more and more angry.  I found a secluded spot, and for the first time in my life.  I just screamed.  I was just flat out mad.  I screamed and screamed and screamed.  Then, I ran some more.  About 1/2 mile from home, I tripped on Charlies leash, and I fell hard.  REALLY hard.  My elbow hit first, and it hurt so badly.  I shattered my phone screen.  I scraped up my hands and my knees.  I was furious and in pain.  Somehow I made it home.  The next day, I went to the doctor and learned that I broke my elbow.  Rock on.  It was not a good day.



The crappy weather was driving us all crazy.  We just wanted to get out in the sun, and feel better.  However, it completely dumped snow one day, and luckily, it was awesome snow.  It turned out to be a really fun snow day for the kids. 

 



Mary has about 7 hours of school work each day.  It is crazy!  This girl is such a trooper.  Her world is completely paused, and that is very hard for a social and active butterfly like her. She misses her friends, she misses her sports, she misses her school.

 I ordered this picture about 2 months ago.  It finally came a couple weeks ago.  The timing was PERFECT!  I love this picture for so many reasons, but right now, having this in my home is a huge beacon of light and strength for all of us right now.  I absolutely love it, and stare at it a lot each day.

The gym that we go to is closed, so I have found solace and sanity running most days with Charlie.  I have re-kindled my love of running outside.  Charlie is in heaven.

I LOVE the memes that are constantly coming through on my phone.  They make me smile and laugh, and I love it.

Each day, the boys have "team meetings" with their school classes.  They get to see their teachers and their classmates each morning.  I am so grateful for this, and the boys look forward to this each morning.  Thank goodness for technology and the ability to do things like this.

Boredom can make people do weird things.  Sam was standing here like this...just because.

I have tried really hard to find things for the kids to do.  We have games, pokemon, lego sets, art supplies, and outside games as well.

The kids school teachers did a parade through the neighborhood.  Our kids all lined the streets, 6 feet apart, and were able to wave to their teachers.  It was surprised with how emotional this ended up being.  Teachers and parents had tears in their eyes.  We have an amazing school district and wonderful teachers who truly care about and miss their students.

 We decided to do some projects in the yard, because we now have all the time in the world.  First project, pull out the trampoline, and fill the hole up with dirt.  The kids LOVED watching our cool car rip the trampoline out.  We have since been putting together a new trampoline to replace this one.

Normally, our school district makes kindergarten registration a big deal.  The kids go to the district office, where they go to different booths with treats, prizes and games, while the parents fill out the paperwork.  Unfortunately, that was not able to happen this year.  I just did it online.  It is pretty crazy though to think that my baby is headed to kindergarten in the fall! 

 The memes just keep coming.

The boys had fun shoveling and raking our new dirt pile in the trampoline hole.  Probably the most fun they've had in weeks.  Boys and dirt....perfect!

Since we had dirt brought in to fill the trampoline hole, we decided to also get dirt to begin working on the side of our house as well.  The boys found this to be the perfect opportunity for an insane bike jump!!!

Another meme.

While I was out for a run last Saturday, I got a text from Ben.  Sam was tumbling on Mary's mat, and had for sure broken his collarbone.  Ben picked me up from my run, and I took Sam to the hospital.  The kid pulverized his collarbone!  Nasty break!  I felt so bad for him.  He was in loads of pain.  Two broken arms for our family, in one week.  geesh

That bone pointing straight up, is supposed to be pointing to his shoulder.  It is a complete 90 degree wrong angle.

As crappy as this situation is for us, I feel so badly for the kids who are in their senior year.  The can't have prom.  They can't have graduation.  They can't finish out their sports.  They can't do any of the senior activities.  Their High School just ended.  It breaks my heart for them.

Mary and Molly play a lot together.  Molly LOVES it, and I am very grateful for the time they have had to be together more.  

Charlie was very worried about Sam, and he knew that he was in pain.  He was his guardian for a few days.

Molly did my hair

President Nielson, declared a world wide fast to ask for relief from this virus.  It was so amazing to see people from all over the world, all different religions, and different beliefs, join together in a fast for relief.  I love our prophet so much.  He announced this during General Conference, which was wonderful.  Conference was not in the conference center.  Only the speakers and the prophet were there, sitting 6 feet apart.  The choir was not there, they play pre-recorded songs.  It was such a powerful and hope filled conference.  I felt like was just soaking in every second of every talk.  My faith was made stronger, my hope for an end to this madness was made sure, and my desire to strengthen my family in any way that I can was made even stronger.

Another meme.  I loved this one.  Lets all be real please.

This Sunday was Easter.  Our neighborhood had the kids make easter eggs and hang them in windows.  We drew about 15 eggs on our sidewalk with chalk.  The kids in the neighborhood drove around or walked around Saturday and did an "easter egg hunt" Covid-19 style.  We also had the Easter Bunny drive by and wave.  We had a nice Easter lesson, took the sacrament at home, ate a killer good dinner, talked to family online, and tried to remember the amazing gift our Savior have given us.

And that's a wrap for now.  I am having some SERIOUS gallbladder issues, and I have been to the ER this past week, but I will post about all of that later.  Also, Mary has online High School cheer tryouts this week.  Her interview it today through Zoom.  It is nice for her to have something to focus on, be nervous for, and have fun with.  It is weird to do it online, but right now, we are just happy for anything even somewhat normal!  Updates coming soon.

corona who what what?

Last week our world turned upsidedown.  Quite literally.

There is a virus that is quickly spreading around the WORLD right now.  It has been declared a global pandemic as of last week, by President Trump.  It is called the COVID-19 virus, or corona virus.

Basically, last week went something like this.

FRIDAY

 kids come home from school, and we are told that school all schools in Heber will be officially closed for the next two weeks, and possibly months. School work will all be done online.

All pro teams, college sports, high school sports, club sports, of all kinds are suspended.  No games, no practices, nothing.  

Flights are cancelled, traveling is banned to and from numerous countries.

Restaurants are closing their doors, stores are being stripped clean of toilet paper, hand sanitizer and food storage products.

I start worrying a little, and get to the store as fast as I can to grab whatever I can to buffer our food storage.  I am lucky, and get what we need, but being at the store and seeing the chaos and empty shelves, started giving me a lot of panic and anxiety.  I came home from the store feeling very unsettled and very nervous.

Saturday, 

Molly's gymnastics gym, Mary's cheerleading gym, Luke's soccer, Sam's Soccer and William's lacrosse are all put on hold.  No practices, no games, no meeting as teams whatsoever.  Molly's gymnastics gym and Mary's cheerleading gyms are closed.

We head to Idaho to attend Devin's little baby (Norah's) blessing.

Church announces that all church meetings are suspended until further notice.  Missionaries are being sent home or quarantined.  Temples are closing.

The grocery stores in Heber are completely emptied and raided.  We meet with my cousin Jeff, and Mary gets her braces off!!!  Thank heavens, because he had to close his office a few days later.

I am a nervous wreck with the pandemic, I am sad about the kids sports, I am terrified to homeschool, and I am on probation with my online teaching job with VIPKid, because I had to cancel my 7th class.  The limit is 6.  I am waiting to hear if I have a job or not.  I have sent in two appeals already.

Sunday

Devin's family blesses baby Norah at home, because sacrament meetings around the world are suspended.

It is special and weird all at the same time to take the sacrament at his house, and do sacrament meeting.  My heart is healed seeing Ben and Sam bless and pass the sacrament.  It is a big comfort.  Being around family turns out to be a big comfort and blessing during this very unnerving and unsettling time.  I am in and out of peace and comfort, and full blown panic and anxiety.

Monday

Ben drives back to Heber to get back to work.  I stay in Pocatello, because their stores are still open, and the kids can play with cousins.  I go to the gym in Pocatello, and I soooo grateful that it is open.

Everything around the world is being quarantined, shut down, delayed and stores are running out of toilet paper, soap, meat, noodles of any kind and bread.

The day is weird, but kids are happy with cousins and entertained, and I am trying to wrap my head around our new life for a while...a life with no school, no sports, no church meetings, no friends, and uncertainty.  I have no idea how to navigate this as a mother.  I am going from an already busy mother, to a school teacher of 5, a coach of 5 sports, a primary teacher of 5, an entertainer of impending boredom, and a comfort to nervous kids.  Holy crap.

Tuesday

Same as Monday.  More unrest in the world.  Try to find comfort in family. Try to keep things normal for the kids.

Ben learns that he has to work from home.  Hospitals can't let him in.

Wednesday

I wake up to an email that I lost my online job.  

I get a text from Ben that Heber had a 5.7 earthquake that morning, with numerous aftershocks.

Governor of Utah shuts down EVERYTHING.  Our life in Heber is literally taken down to just the walls of our home.

Social distancing is put into effect.  No groups of 10 or more, for any reason.

I go into a closet and have my very first complete panic attack/meltdown.  I am in a weird state of shock. I cry and cry and cry and shake and panic and pray my heart out.  I prayed until the panic calmed and the tears stopped.  I pulled myself off the floor, dried my tears, and in a state of shock and emptiness, I packed up my family and we headed home.

On the drive home, I tried to digest the loss of my job, the earthquake we were headed home to, and the HUGE weight that is now on my shoulders to literally be everything for all of my children for an unnamed amount of time.  All while the 7 of us are quarantined to the house.

The icing on the cake....the last thing to close in Heber, my gym.  AKA...my sanity.

Thursday

I spent 7 hours helping my kids do ALL of their school assignments.  They all are in different schools, at different grades, use different computer programs for each class, and have huge assignments.  I have 47 emails in my inbox from teachers giving me different passwords, log in names, assignments, and things to do for each kid with each class.  It was so overwhelming.  

I cried so many times out of complete overwhelming feelings of defeat and panic.  How on earth could I do this day after day after day, in order to keep my kids up in school.  We still had assignments from their coaches of things they needed to do for their sports, and we also had to make lesson plans for our church at home.  I was also out of a job, and sending in appeals that fell on deaf ears.  The earthquakes had stopped, but the weather was cold and gray.  It was a very, very, very hard day.  I was drowning.  So was my family.  No sports, no school, no social life, town closed, bad weather, fear and panic in the air.  It really really sucked.  Bad.

Thursday

Thursday was a little less school work for some of the kids.  The sun came out, so I grabbed Charlie and ran.  I just ran and ran and ran.  I made my body hurt more than my mind, more than the anxiety, more than the fear.  I sucked in the fresh air, the sunshine.  I waved to neighbors.  I couldn't be by them but I waved.  That run healed my soul that day.

We got the kids outside more.  The boys did all of their soccer skills assignments, William practiced lacrosse, Mary and Molly did gymnastics.  Ben worked out from home.  We just got out and moved.

It was so needed.

Friday and Saturday were similar.

Today is Sunday.  We went on a LONG family walk.  We have played outside a lot.  Ben and Sam did the sacrament, I gave a talk, we watched the Book of Mormon videos, and we will have another small lesson tonight.  We dressed in our church clothes, and tried really hard to keep our home peaceful and as much like the church as we could.

It felt good.  It felt soooo good.  We all felt peace.

And here we go, into week 2.  I am scared out of my mind for the online school again tomorrow for all 5 kids, but I am trying to have faith that it will smooth out more and more.

I am slowly seeing the good parts of this mess.

The kids play together WAY more.  Our whole family plays way more.  Sam and Luke train soccer together, Mary and Molly train gymnastics and cheer together, Ben and William do lacrosse together, we all walk and ride bikes a lot more than normal.

We play boardgames more, we talk more, and yes, fight more for sure.

I have applied for a new online job, and I had my interview yesterday.  I am hoping and praying it will work out.  It has potential to actually be better than my previous job.  At least, if anything, I have some hope in this area.

We have a good solid food storage.  It is scary to see the shelves bare at the store, and to fear a food shortage, but I have great peace in our food storage, and I feel like I did my part in helping my family in that way.  I was forewarned about a month ago, to beef up (haha) the food storage, and I did.  I am soooo grateful now.

I am sleeping again.  With my online job, and with Ben traveling, and with our very busy schedule, I was averaging 4 hours of sleep a night.  This week, I have averaged 9 hours per night, sometimes more.  I can honestly say, that with all of the stuff I have mentally had to deal with this week, SLEEP was a necessity, and the Lord knew it.

I still feel like we live in Mars.  We are still totally shocked and our life has been completely upended.  There is a lot of stress, a lot of fighting, and lot of fear and a lot of worry.  It is hard.  Dang hard.  I have had many moments of extreme panic and hoplesness.

However, every time I pray, I feel peace.  I see the good.  I feel peace.  I see my family bonding more.  I see my kids playing more.  I see me way more involved in their lives, in their school work, their sports, their thoughts, their feelings.  Ben is around all day.  After him being gone for 9 weeks, this is a nice change.  Ben's job is solid, and he will be paid regardless of what is going on.  Lots of people are not that lucky right now.

I can run outside.  I can still work out.  I can still do what I love.  

This will end.  I am hanging on to that with all of the faith I can muster.

This will end, and we will all take a lot more joy in humanity, in sports, in school, in community, in togetherness, in religion, in temples, in everything.

I can't wait.

No joke, this was the week it all started.

With nothing left to do, why not practice driving!

Yes Charlie, we all feel this way.